Margie Harding Margie Harding

A Clean Earth Requires All Of Us

When I was a child, I remember a TV commercial where a beautiful waterway (stream or small river) was polluted with all kinds of litter.  I have no memory of the verbiage, but near the end of the visuals a Native American from long past was viewing this horrifying landscape with intense sadness.  As a tear ran down his tanned, weathered face, his look left nothing else to be said.  When he lived here, the land, rivers, streams and air were pristine and clear of toxins, rubbish, trash, plastics, car parts, and other non-decomposing materials.  It wasn’t a ‘jump out at you’ kind of commercial, but the impact was lifelong memorable!

What have we done to this beautiful place we call Earth?  We live ‘an everything is disposable’ kind of lifestyle.  Hardly anything is used twice!  We use plastic for everything; junk anything we can’t use; throw anything we tire of, in the garbage; and buy more.  Then the cycle happens again.  Trash has accumulated so much landfills can barely keep up.  Great mounds are made in an effort to bury the stuff, much of which will never totally decay.

Along with the pollution of our land and water ways is the pollutants in our air, which hinder breathing and cause horrible suffering to those who have asthma or other lung related issues.

Add to this the devastation of natural disasters like floods, hurricanes, and tornadoes, which strews garbage and debris as far as the eye can see, it’s the perfect storm for devastation which any Native American from long past would weep over.

A clean earth not only requires all of us but affects all of us.  It’s important for each of us to do the best we can, to lessen ‘our footprint’ on the space we inhabit.  While we each can do our part, organizations are in place to improve success on a larger scale.  Of course the government is involved in many of them, including the clean up after natural disasters.

But what happens when natural disasters, or polluted water or air becomes so intense in cities that people become sick?  Sadly the elderly and the disabled are particularly affected when these events happen.  It’s hard on everyone, but these ‘people groups’ find themselves at a huge disadvantage.  Neither of these necessarily have the ability to leave an area when there is an impending emergency.  Lack of funds and difficult mobility options, restrict getting the care they need when things do happen.

While many organizations, environmentalists and activists are working hard to reduce the waste which plagues our landscape and toxic pollutants that permeates our air space, especially during the hot, humid summers; the disability people group is often neglected as a worthy source of information regarding their specific circumstances.  Considering their physical health illnesses and in some cases even their mental abilities, they should totally be represented or part of the discussion on ways to minimize impact of disasters and improvements, regarding climate change.

I don’t have the answers to climate change or how to improve the overall landscape of the world.  I do know, however, that I can plant a tree, turn out unnecessary lights, reduce the use of plastic, control water usage, and lessen the amount of trash I create.  I can improve ‘the space I inhabit’ and perhaps if we all did these ‘small things’ we would all see improvements in where we live.

What are your thoughts on climate change?

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Margie Harding Margie Harding

A Story Of Life—In Poetry

Poetry fascinates me.  While I don’t consider myself a poet I have written quite a few children’s stories in rhyme.  I love the cadence and the sounds of the words.

When I was in high school, I recall required reading of Shakespeare and honestly in some cases, couldn’t figure out just what he was saying; and that was true of other authors who wrote poetry, as well.  My favorite, during that time period, was the poem, ‘The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost.  I clearly understood what he was saying and it has resonated with me throughout my entire life.  The last lines of that famous poem:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

I’ve wondered about my life, and taking that road which is different.  How can a body know if it’s the ‘right’ road, until it’s been traveled?  We all make choices and each choice affects not only our lives but the lives of others around us.  I think it’s fascinating that these lines of a poet so many years ago can still impact its readers.

Of course not all poetry makes that kind of impact, but words can, and do, changes lives.  They can give meaning, inspire, challenge and even destroy.  Poetry can tell stories about our lives in unique ways.  It’s the perfect venue for using descriptive phrases to capture thoughts which otherwise seem distorted.

Have you ever wondered who can write poetry…..poetry that matters?  I believe any one can when they write with (or from) their heart.  It doesn’t have to be explosive, grand or even beautiful to any one but the reader.  But this type of writing (as well as others) is often used to tell stories about life—-about their experiences, anger, love, resignation, challenges, heartache, grief, frustration, and questions.  I think even Robert Frost did that in his poem.

While we all have problems and struggles in life, the disability people group, have unique challenges.  The rejection, exclusion, daily pain, inability to conquer life the same as their peers, is a story to be told!  That said, their triumphs are also part of their journey.  These stories in rhyme, cadence or otherwise written are worth reading, but are also cathartic in their penning.

That process is no less true for the non-disabled.  Putting words on paper (or digitally) is a creative way to collect our thoughts however random, they may seem.  It’s a form of cleansing, refreshing, and freeing ourselves of thoughts which may haunt us, defy understanding, and destroy.  Conversely, words we have written are also a way to reassure us, to motivate, activate and spur us onward when we need to hear it.

The words we pen need not necessarily be written in rhyme or verse, but some just seem to come out that way.  The words do, however, need to be honest and genuine.  These are the kinds of motivating activities which can influence us to be the best we can be, wherever we find ourselves in life.

Have you ever tried to write a poem, perhaps even a single verse about your life?  Just thinking about the random thoughts you have, then written on paper may be the perfect activity to help you sort out problems, find answers which may surprise you, or just give you satisfaction for having tried.

It’s poetry month!  Give it a try!





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Margie Harding Margie Harding

Art- An Expression Of Life

While I can’t draw or paint, I am always amazed when I see beautiful pieces of art.  One of my sons is an amazing artist, producing large scale paintings, which are breathtaking.  One of my daughters produces illustrations for children’s books.  Another daughter is very gifted in crafts and sewing, while another son is a gifted writer.  Needless to say I am blessed!

There are many forms of art besides those I mentioned, and admittedly, it took me years to think of ‘writing’ as a form of art.  For me, I just thought it was that: writing!  Yet, acting, dancing creating sculptures and woodworking, and even communicating can be a form of art.  Any creative activity can be considered an art.  It has much to do with desire, and self expression.

That notion, then, begs the question, ‘Can anyone be an artist?’  The answer to that is a resounding ‘YES’!  Consider the small child who presents you or someone they care about with a picture they have drawn.  The lines may not be perfect, coloring not entirely in the lines, and not to scale.  The person may be a stick figure, while the ball he has thrown in it, is bigger than a car might be.

Yet, this piece of artwork is a treasure because it was this child’s creation.  And what makes it even more special is the heart it took to give it as a gift!  It’s true, professional artist’s painting can cost thousands of dollars, yet this token of love created by a child can be priceless in the right person’s hands.

As mentioned, my gift of creating beautiful paintings or drawings is almost zero, but on occasion I like to paint by number or even watch a tutorial and create a ‘picture’ of sorts.  Perhaps if I worked at it or took a class I could improve my skills.  This is true of anyone.

Our society often looks upon the disability people group according to what they can not do, instead of what they can.  I wonder if because they may not be able to communicate the same as we, or even have the ability of creating detailed, tiny strokes, we assume they are incapable of incredible expression on canvas or other creative endeavors.

While they may have difficulty in some areas, their abilities to sense the world around them can be profound and enables them to create incredible master pieces.  It takes courage to put ‘yourself out there’ regardless of ability.  Imagine the courage it must take to allow those in the non-disabled peer group to see your work—as a disabled artist, when stereotyping is high.  Yet, it’s the perfect way to express ‘through’ their limitations, the joy of creating something beautiful!

Additionally the perspective of their life, lifestyle, limitations, expectations, and quality of life can be not only cathartic for the artist, but a means of sharing with the world what the disability world is like.  It also provides an avenue for being part of ‘community’ and create a sense of belonging in a society, who often judges a person based largely on what the eye can see—and focus on the negative, instead of the positive!

Students come in all ages, shapes, sizes, abilities, talents, desires and differences.  Embrace each person as a student growing in their gifts and enjoying art, in whatever form it comes, as an expression of, exquisite examples of life.

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Margie Harding Margie Harding

Being Part Of The Community

It’s springtime with flowers blooming, trees budding, birds singing, frogs croaking, fields being turned over for planting and more!  It’s time to get outside and enjoy the fresh air and mingle with friends again, along with sports events, bike riding, hiking, picnics, and participating in a dozen other events happening in our communities.

While this is a wonderful idea, it isn’t always easy for some in our communities, to participate easily.  The elderly are certainly in need of assistance from time to time from neighbors, especially when family is unable to help.  But another ‘people group’ who often get left out, is the disabled community.

Nearly one in four people in the US has some kind of disability.  Not all are obvious, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect their daily routines on a regular basis.  But because of their disability, they are often excluded from community events, leisure activities and social relationships.

Social events are often held in a public building like a school, a community center, or even outside.  While the doors are open to them, attending can be a problem due to transportation or even from a feeling of being unwelcome because of their disability.  It’s sad to admit, but having a disability often comes with a stigma of not being good enough because of what they ‘can not’ do instead of accentuating what they can!

Community integration is also sometimes affected due to lack of support from their families or the community in general.  Sometimes they are in need of assistive technologies or devices necessary to live a full life.  And other times it has more to do with political influences and expectations in a given community.

We all want to be welcomed, accepted, even embraced by members of our community in whatever form it comes.  This is no different from the desires of the disabled people group.  They want to belong and know that they can be a student, employee, parent or in some other way be productive within the community they live.  This gives life purpose.

We all need to do something productive to give a feeling of successfulness within our lives.  Living life from ‘the sidelines’ as a spectator is depressing, unfulfilling, frustrating and sometimes even humiliating.  No one wants to live like this.

Each community member should be observant and make an effort to be inclusive to those different than themselves.  Diversity is a rising theme within our lives.  Inclusion is one component in which we can all be proactive.  It doesn’t take a lot of effort, but it does take a sense of responsibility, empathy, and understanding, if we are to be successful. 

We are all given different measures of the qualities necessary, to be a friend and advocate, for those who need us.  Perhaps over the coming days, weeks and even months, as the weather warms and people are out and about, we can observe someone who needs a friend, would love some help, and wants so much to be part of the community, but isn’t sure how to make it happen.

You could be that perfect person for your neighbor next door, across the street, at the park or even down the road a house or two. Have a happy week everyone, as you enjoy this wondrous season.

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The Scars Still Remain

Easter is upon us and after reading an article by Amy Julia Becker from April 16, 2022, “How Disability Changed What Easter Means To My Family,” (link included) and was overwhelmed to tears, I had to reflect.  It’s an amazing article and well worth the read.

She shares the story of giving birth to her first born who had Down Syndrome, and all the implications it carries in our society.  She even admits to having “grief, shame, and fear.”

Turning to the Bible she read about the many times people were healed by Christ such as the lame walking, the deaf hearing, and the blind seeing.  These people in our age would be considered disabled.  Perhaps they were then too, since they were instructed to go to the religious authorities to share their victory of healing and thus be permitted to reenter their local communities.

This begs the questions, ‘Were those with disabilities rejected even in ancient times by society as they are today?  Did it have more to do with their disabilities or from within the communities they belonged’?

While there are huge strides toward inclusion today, there is still much to be done for the disabled people group.  These individuals who were born with what we would call an imperfect body are no less human than those who are born with what is noted as ‘perfection’.

But Ms. Becker also notes that physical healing isn’t the only miracle Christ performed.  There were those who were ‘healed’ from a spiritual perspective when a heart was filled with gratitude, compassion and understanding, without any obvious physical disability.

The article noted, health in many minds has more to do with our bodies—what it can or cannot do. But it’s absolutely more than that.  This too, however in becoming increasingly recognized.  Our good health includes our minds, souls, spirits, emotions and physical elements.  All these work together to make us the person we are.

This fact become abundantly clear in our own family when my husband’s dentist required clearance from his cardiologist before doing any work in his mouth.  This action actually likely saved his life!  He required immediate open heart surgery!

As we look upon those within our communities who have disabilities are we quick to include them in activities and give aid when we can or do we reject them, even if it seems subtle?  Have we abandoned them even within the church walls, where we frown upon those who are different from us?

Even for the toddler without any disability, we are immediately on alert and quick to shuffle them to a place where they are out of sight and out of mind, for the duration of the service. It’s even more direct and perhaps cruel when we do this to a family who comes into a service with a disabled child.  If there is any noise or movement that is distracting, we immediately notice, begin twitching, fidgeting and sending frowning, disapproving looks.

There is much we can learn from our disabled peers and the first may be love.  They often project pure joy and friendship when encountered.  They want nothing more than to be accepted for who they are —and not rejected for what they cannot do!

How many times do we take the wide route around a person with disabilities so we don’t get ‘caught’ in a conversation we’d rather not have, or somehow afraid to affiliate ourselves with their differences, for fear of remarks and rejection from our own people group?

I think what startled me most—and brought me to tears, was the thought that when Jesus died on the cross, his body was contorted to a disabled state.  He had visible scars in his hands, in his side and in his feet.  These scars were still visible when he returned to his disciples after the resurrection.  These scars didn’t reduce who he was; they proved who he was!

Should we treat the disabled any different?  They don’t need ‘fixing’ in the sense of a medical treatment.  They need to be accepted and loved for who they are, just as Christ accepts us.

https://time.com/6167503/disability-changed-easter-means-to-my-family/

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The Joy of Spring

I love spring.  While I enjoy all the seasons, spring may be my favorite, with all the scents, sounds and colors which flood every part of my senses!  Being inside for the last months to avoid the cold winds and rain, have me anxious to be outdoors.

Video games and inside activities, TV and movies have a way of sustaining us when the cold winds blow.  Sadly, however, these distractions also have a way of becoming habitual.  They get in our minds and ultimately thieve us of our time, as we become more and more addicted to the sounds, and challenge of what we are doing, whether it’s on our phones, iPad, computer or any other digital device.

The alternative of remaining indoors, cooped up and chained to our devices is the opportunity to get outdoors and change our current trajectory.  This pattern aids in mobility, promotes happiness, strengthens motor skills, encourages social engagement, and is a great stress reliever, while it decreases anxiety and depression.

My pussy willows made a beautiful appearance already and daffodils have dotted the landscape far and wide with their bright sunshine smiles.  I’ve heard the birds chatter, while the frogs were croaking in the distance and turkeys are lifting their voices to attract their mates.

I love the smell of earth turned over, as the ground is readied for planting gardens.  There is such joy placing those tiny seeds in the ground and watching them sprout and grow as the sun warms the earth and gentle rain —which also has an amazing smell—waters it.  And flowers. There is something so incredible satisfying and beautiful about flowers in a variety of colors and scents to brighten any spot.

With all the joy and refreshment spring brings, it’s important to make the most of it.  I have some suggestions, although I can’t claim all the ideas; but I have put my own spin on many of them.

  • Photography is a wonderful way to capture all these beautiful images of spring.

  • Paint with watercolors at an easel, or with chalk on the sidewalk.—or paint rocks.   These make beautiful paper weights or conversation pieces.

  • Blow bubbles and chase after them as they float through the air.

  • Visit a farm, petting zoo or Nature Reserve and admire all the new animal babies who’ve joined our world.

  • Birdwatching. Set out a feeder with loose bird food and suet for the wood peckers and other birds who love this feast.

  • Go for a hike.  It doesn’t have to be a long hike, nor difficult.  A walk through, or near a forested area (a National park, State park, or recreation area, would be ideal) while looking for special rocks (like those mentioned above), pretty leaves, wading through a stream, taking photos or just walking to enjoy the beauty of the area is relaxing and exhilarating at the same time!

  • While on your hike, have a picnic!  Pack some sandwiches, snacks and drink; and either find a picnic table or place a cloth on the ground. Spread out your feast and enjoy the meal you’ve brought along.

  • Visit a playground with different kinds of equipment.  This will allow your child to climb over, under and around, using muscles not needed very much during the winter season.  Or, slide down the slide or even swing high into the air on the swing.

There is a long list of other ideas for making the most of this beautiful season.  And the beauty is, many or all of these ideas can apply to whatever ability a person has.  Certainly, some may need to be customized, but an adult or child with a disability is as likely to enjoy any of these ‘outings’ as much as their non-disabled peers.

It’s important to remind ourselves of the beauty of nature all around us, if we only stop long enough to see and enjoy it.

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Your Path to Personal Growth: Letting Go and Moving Forward

Personal growth is a journey that often necessitates the shedding of outdated practices and detrimental habits. Identifying and halting actions that act as obstacles in our path to self-improvement is not just beneficial; it's critical. To evolve, one must have the courage to discard certain behaviors that stifle progress. Today, guest author Claire Wentz reveals insights into essential changes that could markedly enhance your personal life. Each of these well thought out strategies is critical to healthy growth, despite challenges of any disability. That said, sometimes it takes an extra dose of deliberate attention to these precepts, if disabled, to garner the greatest amount of success.

Trusting Your Inner Wisdom

Respecting your intuition is essential, acting as an internal guide to choices that resonate with your core principles and goals. Ignoring these gut feelings can divert you from paths that might lead to personal and professional fulfillment. By paying attention to, and valuing your inner voice, you unlock the potential for a life filled with rewarding experiences that truly reflect who you are.

Welcoming Life's Ups and Downs

Adapting to life's ebbs and flows is a skill that can significantly contribute to personal growth. A reluctance to accept new challenges can lead to stagnation and missed opportunities for learning and expansion. By welcoming change rather than resisting it, you set the stage for growth and new possibilities. Embracing life’s constant state of flux can be transformative, propelling you toward a future ripe with potential.

Saying “No” to Preserve Your Energy

The ability to say "no" is a potent tool for establishing boundaries and protecting your time and energy. It’s essential for maintaining personal integrity and avoiding over-commitment. Assertive communication helps in nurturing respect for personal limits both in oneself and in others. Setting these boundaries is a testament to self-respect and is foundational for a healthy, balanced life.

Reduce Paper Clutter

Digitizing your documents might sound like a strange way to advance your personal growth, but when you consider the amount of stress that’s incurred from lost or misplaced paperwork (especially come tax season), anything that can streamline our lives and remove some of that anxiety is a good thing. With tools like this, you can make professional-looking documents easily and store them on your devices for easy access, organization, and sharing.

Navigating Challenging Conversations

Confronting issues and having difficult conversations are integral to resolving conflicts and maintaining healthy relationships. Approaching such dialogues with empathy and transparency can lead to resolutions that are constructive rather than destructive. Such strategies foster understanding and can significantly improve interpersonal dynamics. The courage to address sensitive matters can thus maintain harmony and encourage mutual growth.

Prioritizing Self-Care

Self-care is an indispensable part of personal well-being and should be treated as a non-negotiable aspect of daily life. Managing time effectively allows for the incorporation of self-care routines that can significantly reduce stress. By putting self-care at the top of your agenda, you ensure a reservoir of energy and peace to draw from in all facets of life. Time management skills can therefore be a conduit to a more balanced and contented existence.

Releasing Self-Imposed Burdens

Dwelling on the past can entrap you in a cycle of remorse and regret, impeding progress. Learning to let go and instead focus on the present can liberate you from these self-imposed shackles. Shifting attention to the current moment and future aspirations can usher in a fresh perspective and renewed motivation. Freeing oneself from the weight of past errors opens up a pathway to a brighter and more intentional future.

Taking Action Toward Growth

Many aspire to entrepreneurial success but remain tethered to the security of inaction. Taking that first leap towards establishing your brand, even if it's as simple as creating a logo online, can ignite the entrepreneurial journey. This initial step signifies a shift from contemplation to action, which is essential for any successful enterprise. Venturing into entrepreneurship requires halting the habit of procrastination and embracing the momentum of action.

In conclusion, regardless of abilities or ‘dis’-abilities, stopping unhelpful habits is the first step to discovering your potential and achieving satisfaction. Use these tips to lighten your load and make space for personal advancement. Embrace these changes, and you'll see new possibilities unfold in your life's journey.

Margie Harding is the author of many books for children and young adults. Questions? She’d love to hear from you!

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Margie Harding Margie Harding

The Right Color

My favorite color is yellow.  My reason isn’t scientific; but for me it’s sunny, bright and happy!  But that said, I can’t wear yellow, nor orange, but depending on the garment, I can wear beige.  If you look in my closet you will see I am drawn to medium and dark greens, burgundy, with a splattering of pink, blues, and an item or two of red and other colors; but like the red, only a few.

I read years ago a book about color that said a person is usually drawn to the color which looks best on them.  In fact, it even went so far to say there was one boutique the author could not shop in, but was finally surprised when she discovered the ‘why’.  The problem was set in the colors.  None of the colors this ‘boutique’ typically carried, worked for her.

I know color is important in our world.  Some colors work well with others, Some you need to keep separate.  But I admit I did not realize until recently that ‘color therapy’ was an honest addition to the way disabilities can be managed!  And in truth, the same elements which affects the mood and feelings for the disabled, also affects those who are not in the disabled people group.

Color is defined as being ‘light and energy’.  It reflects, bends and refracts as it travels across the wavelengths.  During its travel it produces different types of light all along the visible spectrum.  Light affects all of us in different ways.  When the sun is shining brightly, most people feel warm, positive and happy.  Conversely, when there is a storm brewing and it becomes dark and cloudy, some people find their mood follows along.

The Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a good example of how light (or lack of) changes how a person feels during the winter, when the sunlight hours are shorter.   Some people experience  what is believed to be a chemical change in the brain which leads to, or triggers depression.  Antidepressants and light therapy are used to manage this syndrome until the longer days of sunshine are more prevalent.

There are those who love dark rooms.  I’ve seen black on walls and am loathe to remain there!  Even when black and white are used on floors or for kitchen counters or cupboards, I find myself shuddering!

A similar feeling of anxiety overcomes me when I see a room with the primary color red.  I’ve been in both a kitchen and a dining room and while I don’t ‘loathe’ it, neither do I like it. The color red can be for passion, anger, or even just unsettling, depending on the person. 

For a child experiencing autism, red could also give a sense of pain, torment or suffering; while orange, pink or other pale colors can create a sense of calm and soothing.  Red seems to bring out hostility, tension and a higher energy and is generally considered a color to ‘be handled with care’ for a child with disabilities.

It is also believed that colors not only affect our moods through what we see, but also as it comes directly through our skin.  The frequencies and vibrations of a specific color can cause chemical reactions via hormones within our bodies. This influences emotions and in some cases, has healing properties for certain conditions. By managing colors, our moods can also be moderated.

Do you find color affects how you feel?

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A Loving Relationship Requires Work

Healthy relationships differ from couple to couple, but certainly there are commonalities between all of them.  There is usually a balance of power, mutual trust, and open communication.  Each partner recognizes and accepts their independence, and have no fear of retribution should a disagreement occur.

A friend described one such couple with some unusual additions.  The wife is an outdoors person who loves to canoe and hike trails, while her ‘mans man’ was quiet and commands attention when he speaks.  Most people admire him and even seek his advice when they need someone to talk with.

She is busy in many activities within her church, community and school functions with their children.  He’s a hard worker and desires to provide for his family.

Each are comfortable on their own, yet when they are apart, there is this sense of ‘feeling’ the other is near by.   When in the same room, they often have eye contact with the slightest turn of a smile; and when they pass each other at arm’s length they reach out and touch each others fingers in the most tender way, make almost passionate eye contact, and then continue going wherever it was they were headed.  They are individuals yet seem to be one.

This description makes this couple seem ideal and almost a fantasy.  While I don’t know this particular couple, I do know a couple who could also be described very closely to this and there are times I feel in awe.  While these couples seems so connected, there are certainly times when they disagree, but they work it out.

‘Work’ is the key word.  These couples know the value of their partner/spouse and desire to have a beautiful relationship, even when they disagree.

Love is a precious and many miss it.  Others, like a person with disabilities, reach for it, but are ridiculed for their choices.  There are many in our culture who are convinced a disabled person can’t find true love, which is quite untrue.  Each person within the disability community has the same human needs and desires to have a healthy relationship as their non-disabled counterparts.

That said, disabilities or a chronic illness may create unique challenges when dating and developing  a special relationship.  It isn’t always easy when disabilities are part of the equation. This is true whether both partners are disabled or just one has a disability.

It’s vital that both parties communicate clearly and patiently how they feel about any topic with honesty.  Whether verbalizing about physical conditions, emotional situations, caregiver uncertainties, medicines required, needs, expectations, goals, or anything else, regardless how seemingly insignificant, sharing your heart is the only way to keep the communication door open.

Daily stresses have a way of creeping in to distort our thought processes.  Being aware of likes and dislikes, sensitivities, and even the need for alone time will help balance day to day life. If you share the bond of love, and want to spend a harmonious life together, expect days that aren’t going to go right.  But allow the feelings of mutual love, respect and trust to guide you in the way that will enable your relationship to grow and endure.

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The Best Valentine Gift Of All

Tomorrow is Valentine’s day!  A day set aside once a year to provide the perfect opportunity to let the person(s) in your life know they are loved and appreciated.  Sometimes this comes with great cost if purchasing exquisite jewelry or other high ticket item, while other times it comes in the form of a hand made card from a child, that simply says, “I’ll love you forever and ever!”

I remember in elementary school looking forward to the Valentine exchange.  We had all made the beautifully decorated and colorful shoeboxes in art class and had them placed on the window sills or other strategic places in the classroom.  We’d have a party with pink and red decorated cookies and those little candy hearts that held sweet messages, along with other sweets and drink.

On the nights before the big event I’d go down the list of printed classmate names and make sure everyone in the class received the card I’d picked out just for them, signed my name and smiled!  I was ready!

Our family was poor, however, and I wasn’t the least bit popular in elementary school.  I believe some years we even used construction paper and ‘created’ the cards we (my sister and I) would place in the boxes of each of our classmates.  At the end of the day, however, after getting home and dumping my ‘pile’ of cards onto the table to go through my bounty, I’d often become saddened by the lack of cards I’d found in my box.

So I’d cling even tighter to those I’d received and try hard not to let anyone know just how broken I was to know, “I wasn’t worth getting a valentine from every single student in my class’.  I’d console myself with, ‘They probably just missed my name on the list’, even though I knew the truth.

I wondered, did anyone else feel like me?  I certainly wasn’t going to ask.  But are there other students in the classroom who’d only gotten 10-12 cards like me instead of the 30+ cards which included each student in the class?  What did I have to do to make people like me?  What made me so different?

As I reflect on my own misgivings of Valentine’s Day, I wonder now about others who seem left out on this holiday.  We all need love and acceptance.  I don’t know that kids necessarily can figure that out.  But what of adults?  Do we as a culture, make judgement calls on those who are disabled?  How often do they get Valentine cards?  When we see a couple who is disabled, do we look on them with disbelief that they have the capacity to love?

I think that happens, and what’s more when you see a non- disabled person who clearly adores the disabled person they are with, do you inwardly cringe or silently ask yourself why?  Do you find it odd that love might happen this way? I suggest we often do and it’s so wrong.  Again, we all need love and acceptance.  Just because a person is unable to walk, see, hear, or is in any way otherwise disabled, that person still has the capability and desire to be accepted and loved.

So this Valentine’s Day—and everyday, if you see a couple who is disabled, or a blend of non-disabled with a disabled partner, cheer them on in your heart!  They’ve beaten the odds, and no longer have to feel the pain of being left out of one of our greatest gifts known to man: the gift of love.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

#Valentine’sDay #HappyValentine’sDay #Valentine’sDayAndDisabilities #DisabilitiesAndLove #EveryoneNeedsLove #Disabilites

Photo Credit: https://www.freepik.com/free-photos-vectors/love

Photo Credit: https://www.freepik.com/search?format=search&query=love%20and%20disabilities

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Love Comes Naturally

Valentine’s Day is next week, so the world is filled with shoppers for beautifully decorated cards, flowers, chocolates, gifts, diamonds and other grand gifts for those they love.  While I think this is a wonderful holiday, it strikes me that every day should be about the ‘action’ of showing love, not just one day a year.  But given it is an official holiday, let’s talk a little about love.

There are all kinds of ‘love’. Love is a word that is used easily in our language whether about food, a song, our pets, our vehicles, a special place and also about the people we care about.  So on some levels, ‘love’ is a totally subjective topic!

I remember when I first saw my now husband, 51 years ago.  It seemed almost like an instant connection/attraction.  I didn’t have much self-esteem; so much so, when I was complimented for anything I was embarrassed. Nor did I consider myself at all pretty and was completely surprised that anyone would even be interested in me, much less want to marry me!

When I think of love, past the love I have for my husband, I think of my children.  There is nothing so precious as looking into the eyes of a newborn baby.  With each child I had, the emotion was still fresh.  As each child grew, the look of total devotion given from the child, to me as momma, is a grand definition of love.

When I think of the bond and relationship between my children and one of our dogs, there is another vivid picture of love.  We had one son who adored a puppy we had, and in times when the puppy was in ‘time out’ (in his dog crate with the door locked) our son would sidle up beside him and read him a book!  That was adorable.

We all need to be loved, regardless of our status in life, our appearance or even our abilities.   The truth is, however, our culture has a mindset that we need to find a partner based on a generic list.  It varies from person to person, but often the list includes, the best looking, smartest, most athletic, healthy partner, and please don’t forget one that has plenty of funds to provide me with everything I want or need!

Of course not everyone believes all these elements are necessary to have a great relationship with someone else, but on some level almost all of these are expected; although each criteria list is certainly different.  Many would (and should) include thoughtfulness, warm, kind, friendly…and these are all good things.  But not everyone has the same level of each one of the characteristics named!

This thought process brings us to the question of being disabled.  What happens to them?  Can a disabled person find love?  The answer is a resounding, yes!  Attitude is a great equalizer here.  If a person finds the right qualities in a disabled person, whether he/she be blind, deaf, in a wheelchair, wearing a prosthetic, or anything else, then certainly a great connection can be made, which eventually can and does lead to love.

There may be the need to make special accommodations on one side or the other, but love is not affected by any ‘non-ability’.  A person’s handicap does not make them any less lovable.  The misconceptions that come with the idea that we need to be ‘nearly perfect’ in body is a myth.  When our hearts say, “I love you”, that’s all that matters.

#Valentine’sDay #DisabledLove #LoveHappens #Disabilities #WeAllNeedLove #EveryoneWantsLove #Abilities

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How to Pivot for Personal Growth and Lifelong Success this Winter

I’d like to thank Claire Wentz for this post! She’s an amazing woman who is sharing her gift of writing with others through another guest post!

Pivoting For Success

Regardless of whether you're aspiring for career progression, seeking enhanced mental and emotional well-being, or yearning for a deeper comprehension of both yourself and the world at large, winter can be the perfect time for you to embrace change.

In today’s post on the Margie Harding blog, we’ll explore several of our favorite methods for nurturing a sense of purpose, pushing your boundaries, and immersing yourself in activities that not only have significance but also enrich your life in a meaningful way.

Discover Your Purpose

It's essential to find meaning and purpose in your daily activities, whether it's your career, hobbies, or interpersonal relationships. Doing so provides you with a sense of direction, making each day more fulfilling. A life infused with purpose feels rewarding, provides a sense of accomplishment, and contributes to personal growth and overall happiness. Set aside some time to reflect on your values, interests, and passions to uncover what genuinely drives you.

Don’t Be Afraid to Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

A key aspect of personal growth involves stepping out of your comfort zone to face new challenges. Whether it's starting a new job, moving to a new city, or trying a new hobby, taking calculated risks fosters resilience, adaptability, and a more robust emotional and psychological constitution. Keep in mind that a calculated risk is not a reckless gamble; it involves weighing the pros and cons and preparing yourself for the outcomes.

Start a Business

If you have a great idea you’re ready to get off the ground, starting a business can be a transformative experience that promotes significant personal growth by pushing you out of your comfort zone and compelling you to face challenges head-on. Through entrepreneurship, you learn the critical skills of problem-solving, time management, and decision-making, often in high-pressure situations where the stakes are personal and financial.

Give Back to Your Community

Contributing to your community through volunteering or philanthropy enriches your life by providing a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Helping those in need not only adds value to their lives but also enhances your sense of community and belonging. Moreover, the skills and experiences you gain through these activities can significantly contribute to your personal growth and understanding of the world around you.

Go Back to School

Taking the plunge to go back to school this winter can be a significant catalyst for personal growth and career progression. Whether it involves starting a new degree or advancing to a higher level of education, this proactive step not only enhances one's expertise but also redefines their career trajectory. For example, teachers seeking to achieve a doctorate in education can open doors to a better salary, better work hours, and more leadership roles. Plus, the convenience of online degree programs enables learners to balance their academic goals with other life commitments seamlessly. Explore the different options today.

Maintain Humility and Open-Mindedness

Humility and open-mindedness are essential qualities for anyone looking to grow. Accepting that you don't know everything and being willing to listen to the viewpoints of others are steps toward a life of continuous learning and self-improvement. Humility makes you approachable and allows you to absorb more from the world around you, leading to a richer, more nuanced perspective on life.

Reflect Through Journaling

Journaling is an excellent tool for introspection, self-awareness, and emotional expression. It allows you to record your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, providing a window into your subconscious. Reflecting through writing can help you understand your motivations, emotional triggers, and behavioral patterns, offering you a clearer path to personal growth and self-improvement.

Moderate Caffeine Consumption

Though it may seem trivial, moderating caffeine consumption can have a significant impact on your mental and physical well-being. Drinking too much caffeine can lead to anxiety, insomnia, and even heart issues, which are counterproductive when you're trying to grow personally and professionally. By paying attention to your body and moderating caffeine intake, you can create a healthier lifestyle that contributes to a more balanced emotional and mental state.

The journey toward personal growth and success is an ongoing process that requires intention, effort, and a willingness to adapt and learn. By incorporating these strategies you can significantly accelerate your progress. These actionable tips serve as foundational pillars, empowering you to unleash your potential and pave the way for a more fulfilling life.

 Image via Pexels

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Feeling Good With Comfort Food

We eat to live.  Some people will say they live to eat.  I suppose the idea could be subjective, but regardless, food is necessary to our survival.  We share meals with people we care about because it’s a place we have commonalities, feel connected, feel safe, communicate with those we care about, or are related to.

Meals like this are wonderful.  It benefits both our physical and mental health.  When we are sick, sad, stressed or even grieving, being with other people, and even sharing food helps us recover from whatever we are going through at the time.

So, there is food…and then there is ‘comfort food.’   I can tell when I’m stressed, I will eat; well, at least snack.  I’m not a bit hungry, but want something to munch on; sweet or salty.

There is a lot of documentation apparently, indicating when we want comfort food, it’s often tied into our upbringing, ancestry, and even traditions our family had when we were young.  That may or may not be true for everyone, but I can tell you, often when I reach for my ‘comfort food’ it does make me feel better, at least for a while.

What I find, however, is most of the ‘comfort foods’ I reach for are high-calorie, and usually processed—filled with sugar,  chemicals and preservatives my body does not need!  Those extra calories will eventually find there lodging in places I’d rather not see!  Not only that; all those ‘additives’ can cause health issues I’d rather not deal with, like heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, if I don’t put an end to it, and other problems.  I know processed foods containing sugar kicks my arthritis in,— in short order!

While ‘comfort food’ can be a good thing in order to get us through tough times, is there such a thing as too much of a good thing?  Can ‘comfort food’ be bad for you and if so, what are other options?

Food is best used as ‘a medicine for our body.’  That sounds odd, but in many ways it’s truth.  We visit a doctor to help us when we are sick, in pain, or for some other issue.  Sometimes, the best ‘medicine’ is in what we eat!

Our young children are gaining unwanted weight at an alarming rate, as are adults across the nation!  When a disability—whether it’s crutches being used from a fall, a surgery that has us bed bound, or a necessary wheelchair, each altering our mobility, the chances for weight gain is greatly enhanced.

Alternatives to ‘comfort food’ might be a way to reduce the harmful effects of the ‘not so healthy ingredients found in the food’.  Preparing favorite foods from scratch, is an option.  That reduces the negative ingredients greatly!  Additionally by preparing protein rich, healthy salads early in the day when you aren’t horribly hungry, might also help!

What are your favorite comfort foods?  Are they honestly good for you, or might you need to look at other options, to make it more so?


Photo Credit: https://www.shutterstock.com/search/comfort-food

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Better Quality of Life

I am a reasonably healthy mid-60 year-old female.  Thankfully doctor trips for me are rare, which is not the case for my husband who deals with numerous health issues due to Viet Nam injuries that are ongoing, even after all these years.  I am grateful the VA remembers his, and other veteran’s sacrifices, given for this country.

Because of his health concerns, doctor visits are frequent and his list of medications long.  The goal of, at least ‘maintaining his health status so it doesn’t worsen’, (at least rapidly) is a high priority, as it should be.

We try to eat healthy, but honestly that can be a struggle when there is so much, what I call ‘junk’ food to eat!  Of course that includes processed foods, sugar foods, and most of the snacks.  We aren’t different than anyone else, and always have at least ‘some’ —(although not an abundance) in the house!

We also garden, when we are in the area.  When we aren’t I love when we can visit a Farmer’s Market, when everyone from the community comes together and offers their fresh, organic product to those who are interested.  Sadly, most of us would rather reach for a can (or frozen) version of the fresh foods, instead of preparing it from scratch.  What’s even sadder is knowing that many of us haven’t a clue how to even prepare food from scratch!

So while we try to keep our quality of life higher by eating healthy, and exercise (even if it’s minimally!), I’m amazed how often insurance will cover (for any issue I may have) a medical emergency, but will not cover a ‘maintaining’ appointment such as eye appointments or even dental, (and I suspect others, as well.)  My mind asks the question, ‘Wouldn’t it be wiser to cover a yearly exam rather than a medical emergency?’   My logic, and it could be wrong, thinks the expense would be greater, given all that’s involved with an emergency.  If ‘check ups’ were maintained, it seems that ‘emergencies’ would be less likely.  Again, perhaps I’m wrong and that’s okay.

But there are others who could seriously use regular check ups.  Their health problems and quality of life, would be much better maintained (like with my husband) if medical issues would be handled earlier rather than later.

This problem is compounded exponentially by the disability population as they battle these types of issues on a regular basis.  Their medical situations often put them in a difficult position of maintaining a permanent job, attending college on a regular basis (although the internet is helping with that), general mobility of just getting around outside their homes, gardening, and so much more.

Because of financial difficulties, insurance is an added problem.  So what are they to do?  First, keep fighting!  Additionally, finding an advocate to help the ‘fight’ is a good thing, as is, being deliberate about eating habits, exercise and even mental health.

We all, regardless of ‘ability’ or ‘lack of ability’, need to be intentional about our personal health, because this directly impacts our quality of life, which is very important to happiness for us and those around us.

#BetterQualityOfLife #personalHealth #disability #healthissues

#disabilityAdvocate #insuranceCosts #maintainingCare

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Keeping Boredom At Bay

I can tell when I get bored; I get sleepy!  While I’d like to say I don’t get bored often, in the evening when my husband is watching a TV program I’m not interested in, I curl up on the sofa and take a nap.  I’ve tried to get myself to do something constructive, but by that time in the late evening, I’m just too tired to pull out any thing to do.

I’ve also found when I don’t have a ‘plan’ for my day, I can get bored.  It sounds silly, but when I don’t have something specific to do, at that moment, my brain draws a blank.  Understand, my to-do list includes all sorts of ‘stuff’;  my domestic duties; writing; and unusual stuff that I’m sure I’m going to forget if I don’t write it down. But if I honestly have my list complete, (or I’m totally ‘done’ and don’t feel like tackling what’s on my list!) I’m not sure what I want to do next!

I read an article months (maybe years) ago about creating a ‘brain dump’ of everything you’d like to get done.  I scoffed at the idea and thought that just seems silly! But what I discovered recently is while not everything is written down, I do have a rather lengthy list of daily to-do’s that each only take about five or ten minutes.

My son, at my request, did a scan of my computer and discovered one area had LOTS of space taken.  His first thought was documents, since I write.  It wasn’t that.  It was my pictures!  Oh my goodness.  I’d been saying for years, that I needed to go through them, but just couldn’t find the time.  I’d work on it for a week or so, then get distracted and forget where I was when I finally got back to it.  His suggestion: set the timer on my phone for five minutes.  Go through photos every day for only five minutes.

That process worked!  So I transferred that same thought process to other areas, where I just don’t seem to have the time to do it, and it allows me to work on it a little every day!  That even includes the fun stuff, that I’d never schedule in.  I study for five or so minutes, read a little, catch up on mundane things that don’t necessarily interest me, but still need doing, and even exercising!

The point of all this rambling is, we all run into the problem of keeping boredom at bay!  It creeps up on us, when we don’t expect it; when we haven’t planned for it!  It means staying active doing something that wakes us up and keeps us going!

Sometimes we need something bigger than five or ten minutes to keep us from getting bored or stuck in the same routine.  Volunteering is a great way to give back to our community and do something worthwhile. Taking a day trip to a museum, city park, an animal shelter or other place will get the juices flowing again and perhaps even create a bit of energy we didn’t expect.

If homebound because of a disability, these strategies can be difficult. But there are still alternatives to giving in to the sedative of boring!  When an actual ‘day trip’ isn’t possible, perhaps take one virtually with DisabledGo or by way of  Earthcam (my favorite) which are great ways to experience places you could otherwise not visit!

The thing we need to remember is, being active is a vital part of living a full life, regardless of ability or dis-ability. Sometimes we need to get creative to keep our minds, emotions, bodies and spirits running at a productive speed. Get creative! Stay active!

Photo Credit: https://www.pexels.com/search/tired/

Photo Credit: https://www.freepik.com/photos/phone-timer/8

Photo Credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-woman-toasting-beer-on-the-side-of-the-road-3009747/

(Just in case the links above don’t work!)

https://disabled-advisor.com/website/disabled-go

https://www.earthcam.com

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Opportunities And Expectations

We are getting ready to begin a brand new year.  This is the perfect time to reflect and attempt to see opportunities all around us we may be missing.

When I graduated from high school I was already married, (we married in August between my Junior and Senior year) and discovered four months after we married that I was pregnant.  I graduated in June (yes, I attended classes all year—and went to commencement) and had our firstborn in mid-July.  Life continued, but plans changed.  I’m not sure I ever thought I’d get to go to college, but not because I wasn’t interested.  But our 2nd, 3rd, 4th and even 5th child was born and life just kept moving forward.

When our youngest started college, I was blessed with an unexpected opportunity to go to college.  I was terrified!  It had been 30 yeas since I’d been in a classroom; but I was determined to do my very best and take advantage of something I never thought would ever happen.

I grew!  I learned so much.  I’d been writing for years and never did take a ‘writing’ class (aside from the required English classes) but instead took the Elementary Education direction.  I discovered things about myself, like being able to present in front of a full classroom—-and enjoying it!  I learned how to create a Power Point and so much more that would ultimately help me in ways I couldn’t have known would happen at the time.

I had my challenges.  Math (and Science) about upended me!  But I pushed through with the help of my grown children!  Even these classes in which I struggled prepared me for situations I would have to tackle later in my life!

Out of the ‘unexpected possibility, I was able to write the novel, “More Than A Mom,” a dream I didn’t even know I had!  It was intimidating, but stimulating at the same time!  I was able to culminate my innate gifts with what I learned from this unexpected opportunity to further my writing.

We ALL have dreams, even if not totally formulated. We also ALL have opportunities to do something about those dreams, even if the opportunities show up unexpectedly or in surprising ways we barely recognize at the time.

It doesn’t matter what your ability —- on lack of ability!  I’m here to tell you dreams do come true; not always like we expect but sometimes better than we expect!  Writing stories for children for disabilities has been an unexpected gift created out of an unexpected possibility!

Organizations are available to help those with or without disabilities to dream the big dreams!  Get the therapy, education, possible financial aid and support from others to make your doors of opportunity open!  Get involved with community, find people to help you realize your potential.

It’s a brand new year.  It’s the time your look past the ‘nay-sayers’ in your life, who don’t share your dream and trample your ideas with negativity!  Your dreams have the potential to be a ‘dream come true’ as you accept the opportunities that come your way and move your life in the direction you want to go!

Happy New Year!

#ChaseYourDream #BrandNewYear #2024 #GetHelp #Opportunities #OpenDoors #DreamsComeTrue #MakeYourDreamsComeTrue #RealizeYourPotential #CommunityInvolvement #HappyNewYear

Photo Credit: https://www.google.com/search?q=free+pics+of+2024

Photo Credit: https://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/challenge.html

Photo Credit: https://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/challenge.html

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Resolutions - 2024

2023 is coming to a close and 2024 is right around the corner.  Many of us take a few moments before the end of the year and come up with New Year’s resolutions that we would like to see accomplished in the upcoming year.  These resolutions are in essence a promise to ourselves that we want to keep to make our lives better, whether it’s physical, emotional, spiritual or even relational or somewhere in between.

  Resolutions can be for something as simple as getting up five minutes earlier or reading a book a month.   Or as complicated as changing jobs and moving to another part of the country, or having a plan to make $20,000 more a year in income.

Many people put exercise and diet on their resolution list.  Part of mine is educational— to strengthen my math skills and have significant spiritual growth.  Perhaps your goals fall somewhere in between.

Regardless of our goals, the hardest part seems to be staying with a goal that we’ve made for the entire year.  Life seems to get in the way, routine is changed and all of a sudden it’s been a week or even months since we worked on our goal.  Getting back on track seems all but impossible.

Staying ‘with it’ isn’t the only problem that faces a disabled person who makes resolutions  Their life is often considerably more difficult and complicated.   When considering resolutions, options must be considered that will be most effective to make their quality of life better, given any current difficulty.  This idea is relative to anyone who makes a resolution.

A disabled person, however, must look at their life through a different lens.  We all have hindrances that affect what we can and cannot do.  Any obstacles must be considered which will limit our ability to be successful.  It may be finances which inhibit our ability to complete a goal, or even an education factor.  It might be geography, or experience or some other element that is relative to our unique situation.

When making a resolution it helps to remember to include people who could also use support and encouragement, perhaps in the same physical, emotional or spiritual situation.  Finding like minded people will aid in working toward like minded goals. Additionally, these kinds of goals will enable you to make a difference in your community and often offer incentive to keep us going!

I am guilty of creating too many resolutions.  My intent is to be productive and better myself.  But in the process I overwhelm myself and therefore give up before I really get a solid start.  So this year I am only going to create four resolutions.

1. — physical (and it’s going to be to eat healthier —which will include making a menu that will enable me to do this) And hopefully find some exercise time!

2. — educational which means I will need to choose a subject of study to focus on for a specific time period before I move to another—-I think it’s going to be Math.

3. —spiritual which includes re-reading Pilgrim’s Progress and writing about each day’s reading!

4. —Another needs be in the ‘writing’ world, which will include setting time frames to finish and publish more books in the next year.

As I consider all of these elements, several absolutely cross over into the ‘community’ realm.  Even the blogs I write are part of ministry/volunteer components since I do not get paid for these, but I do these because I believe I’m called to them.

Each will need specific markers to move forward, but I have a place to start.  Every person can decide to make a difference, regardless of abilities or lack of some.  It takes determination, strong desire and focus.

Will you decide to make changes in your life during 2024 which will also impact those around you?  Share your goals!  It helps ignite the energy!

#2024 #resolutions #settingGoals #GetHealthier #WorkInTheCommunity #volunteer #SetMarkers #disability #ability

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Christmas - Remembering What’s Important

One of my favorite things to do during the Christmas season (or any season, if I’m honest) is to watch the Christmas Hallmark movies, even though I know they are totally made for TV and not like real life at all!

While I’m not alone in recognizing the lack of realism in the movies, there are those who believe life should be just like these movies that often render false hope.

For a disabled person the ‘Hallmark’ perspective is even more skewed.  For them, Christmas isn’t ‘warm and fuzzy’ nor has a happy ending.  It’s stressful and causes much distress!  These feelings often are displayed in ways which confuse both the person with the stress and the caregiver or most often the parents!

Behavior changes because of distress are the most likely form of dissension where the message being amplified is “What’s happened to my schedule?”  Who put a tree in the living room and WHY?”  Or even “Where did all these people come from and why are they here?”

Depending on the disability it’s important to plan ahead.  One place to start is when sending out Christmas cards adding a small note to inform those ‘who need to know’ about changes in the disabled child, or even adult.  This can mean informing them of topics which may (or may not) be good to discuss, gifts that are appropriate, events which may be challenging and work as a trigger that could escalate an unwelcome event, or any other relevant message which would be helpful when visitors arrive.

Other ways to sustain a comfortable environment may include prioritizing family traditions.  Recall what makes the disabled person most comfortable and happy.  It may include singing Christmas Carols while trimming the tree, or making cookies or even wrapping the presents, even if they just pull and tear the tape.  It’s allowing them to participate in this wondrous season at their level of understanding and toleration.

Because transitions can be difficult, remember to make changes slowly.  Decorations should be gradual so as to not overload the senses to the point of anxiety.  When guests arrive, try to keep things as calm as possible, but invite the child to hand out cards, or even cookies so they have a specific job to do and therefore take the focus off what they can’t do, to what they can.

Christmas is an incredible time of year.  Even for a person without a disability, it can be overwhelming and stressful, especially when work outside the home is necessary, there is shopping to do, decorating, wrapping gifts, baking, cards to mail, hosting to tend to, and the list goes on!

It’s important to stand back, put everything on hold, even if for just a few moments and say, ‘STOP’!  I’m going to allow myself a moment to regroup.  Take some quiet time.  Get yourself your favorite warm (hot) drink, sit down and just breathe.  And while this is important for everyone, it’s vital for the caregiver of a disabled child.

Christmas is a time of hope love and peace, which we sometimes lose when we get buried in all the ‘commercialism and materialism’—and stressful time Christmas has become.  We all need to remember the real reason for the season. —-It’s a time to remember the Christ Child.


#Christmas #ReasonForTheSeason #StressfulTime #Disability #Caregiver #TakeTimeForYou #DisabledChild #Guests

#RememberWhat’sImportant #Perspective #ChristmasDecorations #Baking #Shopping #GiftWrapping #BakingCookies #ChristChild


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Hobbies For Stress-And Christmas

One of my favorite things to do is quilt.  I’ve made many; one for each of my grandchildren as newborns, and another larger one when they turned three; and before that it was graduation quilts for each of my five children, and more as gifts!  It’s a hobby.  I do it for the pure joy of the process and to see the completed project.  I find when I am stressed, quilting can calm my nerves and put my entire being at ease.  I can ‘breathe’ again!

Hobbies are like that and quilting is just the tip of the iceberg for ideas.  While many men (and women!) like to fish, my husband likes to create stunning fishing poles decorated with beads and quilting thread.  He can create insignias, or personal, distinct patterns however he desires.

One of my sons is all about creating three dimensional people, animals and other objects, and then painting them.  He’s created entire cities or palace kingdoms from long past and they are exquisite!  One of my daughters enjoys cross stitch and she too creates amazing town houses for Christmas so it becomes an entire village.

Another of my sons is all about gardening.  He loves it and has become a ‘master- gardener’!  He can grow almost anything and can answer questions for friends and family about almost any variety of vegetable.

Those ‘in the know’ will tell you hobbies are not only good for stress relief, but also build vital skills for those with disabilities in every area; socially, emotionally and in some cases even physically.  Hobbies can improve life skills and encourage independence, not only for the disabled but across the board.

Biking is a hobby which builds balance and offers a sense of freedom since it can be be a mode of transportation.  Reading and being part of a book club is a way to exercise the brain, and can help with working through emotions they may or may not have experienced before, while relieving stress, since it can transport us to another place.

Art is another hobby which is great for anyone because it’s a wonderful way to express feelings and helps strengthen focus.   Even sports are again great stress relievers, teaching teamwork and community, sportsmanship, enhances physical fitness and even has an element of commitment.

Other hobbies could be photography, music, birdwatching, archery, putting puzzles together, scrapbooking, or even having a collection of a particular item.  Someone might enjoy painting by number or creating craft work or whittling.  The list is endless.  It is totally dependent on what a person is interested in.  And the fun thing is, what can start out as a hobby in one area has the potential to lead you into another.

Christmas is right around the corner.  Creating gifts all year through is a wonderful way of having a hobby that gives all year!  Card making is an option that often amazes people.  Each card is a work of art designed almost as a gift!

Another great ‘Christmas hobby’ might be singing!  Christmas songs are unique and have a special appeal.  Again what an exceptional way to use your hobby—of using your special, unique voice—as a gift at Christmas!

Cooking or baking are still other hobbies which teach life skills, relieves stress and offers the rewards of the finished edible ‘creation’.  These hobbies too, have amazing Christmas appeal while giving you the opportunity to learn and grow while being ‘in your happy place’!

Whatever  a person discovers he enjoys doing, can in some cases become a hobby if he chooses to follow through with it.  The choice is entirely his and can create a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that can only be filled when a project has been completed.

It’s a great way to learn about yourself, other people and even other places, times, civilizations, and different ways to do things.  The action and fulfillment of having hobbies can be carried over as ‘gifts’ to others.  Additionally the relief from the day to day grind, emotionally can be thwarted, at least for a time, when being involved in a hobby a person loves.


#hobbies #HobbiesForChristmas #biking #quilting #baking #scrapbooking #fishing #gardening #CraftWork #whittling #ChristmasIdeas #ChristmasGifts #CardMaking #Art #HobbiesAndCommunity #HobbiesToReduceStress #InMyHappyPlace

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Margie Harding Margie Harding

A Place For Everything

When my grand daughter comes to visit, she often remarks on my ‘everything has a place’ rule.  My house is far from immaculate.  It’s very lived in, but clutter drives me to distraction!  In general terms, then, I try to have things picked up and ‘put in their place.’

That said, it’s just my husband and I.  We both have hobbies and things we work on all the time that seems to always ‘be out’ and in the way when someone comes in the house.  Still there is much less disorganization in general around the house since our five children grew up and have homes of their own.  My grand daughter, at age 16 has three younger siblings.  Their house is a mite small for all of them, so there is a bit of overlap when each of them have ‘stuff’ out to work on; and they are homeschooled, which adds another element of ‘stuff’ not always put away!

There are some families who have extra rooms where ‘stuff’ can be out and no one ever sees!  It’s often called a family room, or perhaps a den—and for the kids, there’s a play room.  This can give the illusion of a very organized home.

As an independent disabled person, making sure the house remains in some semblance of order, takes a bit more effort than perhaps I put in my house.  My biggest challenge is height.  I’m five foot when standing straight.  My biggest hurdle is toting a stool to step on to reach anything in a high place.  (Unless any of my children or husband is around who are all tall!)

The value and benefit from having an organized home resounds even more loudly in the disability arena. It’s more than a convenience; it’s necessary.  Wheelchairs must have clear pathways, as do walkers or other apparatus used to navigate the landscape within the home—and ease of opening drawers and doors without things falling out.

Everyone has their own strategy, method or plan that works for them when it revolves around their home.  I’ve been reading a lot about minimizing, and find our material items we no longer need, use or like, should be eliminated.  This helps us focus on what is important instead of ‘where am I going to put this?’

I’ve found I gravitate to the same clothes over and over again, even if mixing and matching them; while others stay on the rack (or in the drawer) and rarely, if ever, get pulled out to wear.  The idea is if I don’t love it—for the color, the fit and how it looks on me, it needs to go!   This provides the room I need for those items I do like without having them stuffed in the closet or the drawer.

I find this same practice necessary in my kitchen.  Somehow I seem to ‘collect’ cups, without any effort of my own.  Every now and again, I find it helpful to sift through my ‘collection’ and keep only the ones that really matter or that I prefer using.  This mentality works with all kitchen appliances and gadgets (and I seem to collect them too!), and other items that get tossed into a drawer until I make the decision to go through it!

These ideas along with ‘items having a specific place’, allows for some amount of organization.  I loathe opening a door and having ‘stuff’ fall out, or even opening a drawer and having to ‘dig’ inside to see what’s there —-or find what I want or need.

Christmas is almost here and we all receive gifts we either love, or wonder how we will use or asks does ‘it’ work for me? As you open your gifts this year, remember that you’ll receive items you’ll have to put away. How do you decide where you’ll place the newest ‘gadget, picture, unusual ‘keeper’, kitchen tool, and more?’ Having a ‘place for everything’ will help you reduce the look of clutter!.

Having additional options to choose from can be helpful on all fronts! What secrets do you have for keeping your ‘space’ organized and accessible?

#organization #disabilities #wheelchair #EverythingInItsPlace #clutter #organize #PutStuffAway #TooMuchStuff

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