Happy Halloween,Everyone!
Halloween is this week and I know there are many children excited! Perhaps even parents are ready to celebrate this event with fond memories from their childhood. There are costumes to wear, parades to watch (and be part of), and lots of candy to collect Trick or Treating!
Not every one shares this excitement at equal levels. While the idea of ‘trick-or-treating’ is exciting in theory, there are those with sensory issues who discover the idea is much more appealing, than actually in the participation. And for parents, while their child looks forward to the festivities, behavioral or emotional problems become a great deal more difficult to handle, given the adrenalin rush the activities incite.
One situation which can really ‘up-end’ a child with emotional or behavioral problems is haunted houses; especially those with an asylum-theme. These Halloween ‘attractions’ are often boycotted because real life history of people with mental illnesses become exceedingly frightening for those experiencing any level of this disease.
Disabilities come in a variety of ways. Children may need to lip read because hearing is impaired, or find masks cumbersome, given the way they can fit on their face, block their view, and rub their skin, and a wheelchair bound child requires a special costume that also accommodates the ‘chair’.
Alternatives to cumbersome costumes might be face painting, while using non-edible objects for ‘treats’ instead of candy given the amount of children with a variety of different allergies. Using small items like finger puppets, glow sticks,
Halloween erasers, and a lot more!
Another possibility to accommodate children who aren’t particularly excited about trick-or-treating, even though the prize is lots of candy, might be having a Halloween party within your home. Invite guests with different abilities if possible, so everyone feels like they are on equal footing!
Bring out the pumpkins and let everyone scoop out the slimy seeds and carve fun faces—- or if carving is a problem, let them use markers to create their masterpiece, then add glitter, stickers and other fun decorations to make it their own!
Another game that can accommodate any child might be using decorated mandarin oranges to pass around to music. Begin with one orange with a painted face or otherwise decorated; and begin the music. Pass it around until the music stops. The child holding the orange wins the orange but is now out of the game. Continue until every child has an orange. The last one out is the winner.
Many children (and adults) love Halloween with all the eeriness and whatever the ‘dark side’ can add. Others, like myself, prefer the fun not requiring my heart having a ‘scared out of chest experience’. I enjoy parades, but enjoy the fun which remains cheerful and totally non-threatening. Perhaps that makes me odd and I’m not even disabled. But I do get, to some degree, how those with a disability may feel about being scared senseless.
My personality doesn’t thrive on heart stopping fear and that’s okay. We are all created different, and that’s okay too. It doesn’t make me any less a ‘fun-seeker’ than anyone who enjoys that kind of extreme fright. The same remains true for those with disabilities, and it’s important to remember that, especially at Halloween when the theme for many, is the extreme scare, and the more extreme, the scarier.
All that said, I say, in a very cheerful voice, “Happy Halloween”! Enjoy it the way you were designed and certainly don’t frown upon, mock or humiliate anyone who prefers to celebrate differently.
Adapting Your Home and Life for Parenthood with a Disability
Embracing parenthood is an exhilarating journey marked by profound change and growth. For parents navigating disabilities, this adventure requires not only traditional preparations but also special considerations to create a nurturing and accessible environment for both parent and child. This comprehensive guide written by guest author, Claire Wentz, offers some essential strategies tailored to these unique challenges, empowering you to step confidently into parenthood equipped with knowledge and support systems that cater to your needs.
Simplify Life with a Home Repair App
New parents are often surprised at how much laundry they must do. If you currently head to the laundromat or have a washing machine that is inconvenient, consider upgrading your circumstances. Many people with disabilities benefit from a front load, for instance. Even a used or scratch-and-dent can be a boon, but you may want to reach out to a washer repair service. You can get advice on models or get an appointment to have a machine inspected by a pro. There are handy apps to connect you with online advice and services, enduring you’re hiring someone you can trust.
Cultivating Compassion for Yourself
Parenthood is a demanding journey, and self-compassion is vital in navigating its challenges successfully. Allow yourself the grace to face obstacles without self-judgment, recognizing that every parent encounters struggles. Practicing self-care routines can significantly improve your emotional well-being, equipping you to provide the nurturing your child needs. Remember, by caring for yourself, you set a solid foundation for your child's development.
Ensuring a Safe and Welcoming Home Environment
Creating a safe home environment is crucial as you prepare for your child's arrival. Assess your living space for potential hazards and make necessary modifications to accommodate your disability while ensuring safety for a curious child. Install safety gates, secure furniture to walls, and ensure all dangerous items are out of reach. Such adjustments make your home safer for your child and enhance your ease of mobility and caregiving.
Planning for Efficient Transportation
Transportation is a crucial aspect of parenthood that requires forethought, especially for parents with disabilities. Explore accessible vehicle options or services that cater specifically to your mobility needs. Make sure your chosen mode of transport can accommodate both your mobility aids and the additional equipment that comes with a child, like a stroller. Check local resources regularly for updates on accessible transportation to keep your options up-to-date and effective. Efficient transportation solutions will support independence and facilitate smoother outings with your child.
Preparing for Your Child’s Educational Journey
Looking ahead to your child’s educational needs is as crucial as preparing your home and life for their immediate arrival. Research local schools to understand the support services they offer for children of parents with disabilities. Engage with school administrators early to discuss any specific accommodations you might need for school meetings or events. Establish a communication plan with educators to monitor and adapt educational strategies as your child grows. Planning for these scenarios ensures you remain actively involved in your child’s education.
Streamlining Your Medical Records
Digitizing documents can greatly simplify the demands of parenthood by keeping important records organized and accessible. From medical records to school forms and vaccination schedules, having everything stored digitally means you can quickly retrieve and share documents when needed. It eliminates the clutter of physical paperwork and reduces the risk of losing important files. With secure cloud storage, you can access these documents from any device, making it easier to stay on top of your child's needs, appointments, and milestones.
Navigating Parenthood with a Disability
As you step into the enriching world of parenthood, remember that your unique journey is accompanied by many supports and resources tailored to make every phase manageable and fulfilling. The resilience and adaptability you harness now will enrich your parenting experience and inspire strength and confidence in your child. You are paving a path filled with love, care, and inclusivity, setting an exemplary model of overcoming challenges with grace. Your preparation and foresight are the keystones to a rewarding familial future filled with possibilities and joy for you and your child.
Image via Freepik
Margie Harding is the author of many books for all ages – she’d love to hear from you!
Breaking the Anxiety Barrier
I’m a chatty person, and generally have little issue talking with anyone. That said, sometimes I am at a loss for words when I encounter someone with a disability. I can be cordial, certainly, but unless I actually ‘know’ the person, conversation comes harder.
In high school I recall a friend who was burned badly in a car accident when she was young. The scars weren’t always visible. It totally depended on what she wore. I never had the courage to ask what happened. I felt it would be rude and unkind of me to even mention it. That said, we honestly were good friends all during our high school years and even after we graduated. I haven’t a clue how I learned about what happened and still have never discussed it with her.
What makes us so uncomfortable around a disabled person? My first thought is ‘not wanting to be rude, insensitive to their plight, or embarrassed that we know so very little about being disabled and what all that entails’!
Others suggest, in a word, ‘fear’. We’re not afraid of the person, specifically, or even afraid of ‘catching’ what they have like we might catch a germ to a cold! We are often more insecure about our own emotions. Our minds wander to the ‘how do they live like that?’ How do they handle day to day stuff? Who helps them when they can’t accomplish what they need to?’; and the questions keep coming! We’d be aghast at asking any of these questions which bombard our being; but we also might be just a little afraid of blurting out what our minds are thinking!
What is protocol? I’m not sure. Most people with a disability can sense when those they interact with, are having a level of anxiety, probably due to their unease of the disability. One person made the comment that she was “not a piece of glass, and not going to break” We all know a disability is not contagious, yet we shy away from it. My friend was not disabled, but I still shied away from ever bringing up the subject of the significant burn scarring.
There are plenty of ways to overcome this barrier, if we are really interested in having any type of genuine relationship with a person who has a disability. One way to become oriented with any disability is to learn something about it, specifically. Another might be to volunteer at a facility or with an organization which provides services for those with disabilities.
In my heart, however, the best way to see a relationship grow is to spend time with a disabled person. This is what anyone would do if a relationship was desired with someone who did not have a disability. You may set up a time to share a cup of coffee, (be cognizant of wheelchair accessibility if that is relevant to the disabled person), or offer to ride to a place they need to go if driving is a challenge, especially if there is reason for you both to be there anyway. It may not seem so obvious if the meeting place is already mutual. But time driving/riding is a great place for conversation.
Life is too short to let our personal fears, and another’s perceived limitations stop us from forming sound, wonderful friendship! We each have a desire to ‘fit in’ and belong with (and to) those we share mutual environments with. This may happen in the workplace, at school (college), church functions, volunteer organizations and the list goes on!
Greeting each other, regardless of ability —-or lack of, offer genuine friendship and respect, and your world and theirs, is likely to be a lot more pleasant! Let’s break that anxiety barrier!
Learning To Live Naturally
One of my daughters has a homestead. She and her husband have eight children and each of them help with the very numerous tasks required for it be be successful.
In addition to the vast garden, they raise goats, chickens (both layers and eating), turkeys, pigs, beef and more! The garden requires planting, caring, harvesting and then canning or other method of preservation. The goats require milking, feeding, watering and more. The pigs and beef require feeding and tending, while the chickens require feeding, egg gathering and for the eating chickens butchering for those being sold. I’m certain I’ve left out some of the duties, but the point is, it’s busy!
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They are also incredibly active in their local 4-H and all the children have learned to sew, while some care for and train cats, dogs and show rabbits! Others have incredible baking and cooking skills, along with herbal knowledge. It’s a fascinating lifestyle.
What I find interesting, is in the disability people group, it’s been discovered, they can function productively and adapt well to this type of lifestyle, as well! Farms and ranches are popping up across the US that provides the opportunity for those with mental challenges, autism, as well as physical ones to learn about caring for vegetable crops, fruits and even animals. One even teaches the skill of making goat milk soap!
These learning opportunities offer the education and knowledge needed to enable those with special needs to acquire jobs, or even create a sustainable business of their own as they offer their product to local markets, that will support themselves and perhaps even a family.
These farms and ranches offer a safe place for the disability community to gain confidence in skills and social interactions while performing meaningful and productive tasks. One even includes a pottery studio, as well as a bakery and a studio to learn weaving!
Another teaches everything you need to know about caring for roses, the arts and music, becoming a sous chef, tour guide and more. Still another is all about job training in a commercial greenhouse, that again, provides the skills and knowledge necessary for real life living through the building of life-long skills for productive independence.
Out world is changing quickly as we adapt to less and less self-sufficiency. We go to the supermarket and buy all our foods harvested, cleaned, cut up and ready to prepare; sometimes even fully cooled. All we need do is pop it in the microwave or oven and in just a few short minutes dinner is complete!
Long gone are the skills required to live life naturally. On the larger scale, we no longer tend large gardens and harvest the healthy veggies grown there, have animals to help feed the family with fresh milk, eggs, or even hunt for meat on our tables. The very idea of any of this ‘work’ is revolting to many.
These farms and ranches which teach these skills are to be commended for their foresight into helping the ‘disability people group’ in a unique way that adds viable, and valuable, learning opportunities to skills long forgotten. Actually, it’s a way of life we could all draw a bit closer to. As our world changes, it might be our best option!
Solitude and Success: Building a Balanced Life
Self-care is vital for everyone, especially introverts who often find solace in quiet and solitude, or caregivers for those in the disability community. Crafting a self-care plan tailored to your unique needs is key to maintaining your well-being and enabling you to flourish. This guide created by guest blogger Claire Wentz, provides strategies that cater to introverts and caregivers looking to thrive in various aspects of life. From establishing routines to nurturing personal and professional growth, these methods are designed to help you succeed.
Create and Stick to a Regular Schedule
Consistency is key to maintaining well-being; establishing a regular schedule helps you manage energy and prevent overwhelm. Identify essential daily activities—work, exercise, leisure—and allocate specific times for each. This structured approach not only helps control stress but also supports a balanced life, offering predictability and a framework tailored to your personal goals.
Prioritize Restful Sleep
Restful sleep is crucial for both physical and mental health, particularly for caregivers and introverts needing to recharge. Enhance your sleep environment by ensuring your bedroom is cool, dark, and quiet. Develop a calming pre-sleep routine, perhaps by reading or practicing relaxation techniques. Consistent sleep patterns, with fixed bedtime and wake-up times, are essential for improving overall sleep quality and daily functioning.
Allocate Time for Solitude
Introverts, as well as caregivers, need time alone to recharge their batteries. Plan regular periods of solitude to reflect, relax, and rejuvenate. This might involve activities like reading, journaling, or simply enjoying a quiet moment. Scheduling alone time ensures you have the space to process your thoughts and feelings without external pressures. It's essential to communicate this need to those around you, so they understand and respect your boundaries. Your well-being depends on having this uninterrupted time to recharge.
Navigating a New Career Path
Starting a new career, regardless of ‘ability’ requires a standout, professional-looking resume. Before you pursue a new position, carefully craft and tailor your resume to align perfectly with each job opening. Adjust the keywords in the skills section and strategically highlight relevant parts of your professional history and educational experiences to meet the specific needs of each employer. Ensure each section of your resume is meticulously prepared, prompting potential employers to think, this deserves a look, thereby boosting your chances of securing the ideal job, even if you bring a ‘disabled factor’ with you.
Discover Energizing Activities
Finding activities that invigorate you is crucial for maintaining a balanced life. Identify hobbies or interests that leave you feeling refreshed and energized. This could be anything from creative pursuits like painting or writing to physical activities such as hiking or yoga. These activities provide an outlet for stress and help you maintain a positive mindset. Make it a priority to regularly engage in these energizing activities, as they can enhance your overall well-being and provide a healthy escape from daily stressors.
Make Time for Socializing
While alone time is vital, it's equally important to maintain social connections. Caregivers and introverts alike, often prefer, or need, deep, meaningful interactions over large social gatherings. Schedule regular meetups with close friends or family members to nurture these relationships. Choose social activities that align with your interests and comfort level, such as small group dinners or one-on-one coffee dates. Social interactions can provide emotional support, offer different perspectives, and contribute to your overall happiness.
Learn to Say ‘No’
One of the most powerful tools in the self-care arsenal is the ability to say no. It's essential to recognize your limits and not overcommit yourself. Saying no can help you maintain your energy and focus on what truly matters. Practice assertiveness in declining invitations or requests that drain your energy or don't align with your priorities. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and take a step back when necessary. Remember, giving yourself permission to say no is a form of self-respect and care.
A personalized self-care plan is essential for achieving a balanced and fulfilling life. By structuring your day, prioritizing rest, embracing solitude, engaging in energizing activities, maintaining social connections, and knowing when to say no, you can safeguard your well-being. These strategies not only support personal contentment but also empower you to meet life's demands with confidence and resilience. Implement these practices diligently to ensure you remain vibrant and prepared for any challenges ahead.
Image by Freepik
Fighting Childhood Cancer
September is one of my favorite months. It’s time for Fall to approach, providing nights with coolness which lingers into the early morning. It’s amazing to step outside cuddling a hot cup of coffee and breathe in the fresh, brisk air. It’s wondrous to watch the leaves change from orange, rust, reds and even mauve. And when the wind blows just right, it’s like being in a ‘leaf wind storm’ as they flutter all about, doing their part to create a beautiful, colorful blanket on the ground.
Another significant occurrence in September is ‘childhood cancer awareness’. It’s a month dedicated to increasing awareness and honoring those children who are battling cancer. Additionally, their families, the medical teams who work tirelessly in an effort to find a cure, the doctors and nurses who care for the children, and others who help in a variety of ways to help them get through this incredibly difficult time, are also paid tribute for all they do.
Progress in research, is being made, as survival rates are rising. But given that still, almost every week on average, nearly 300 children are diagnosed with cancer, there is still work to be done so that no child dies from this evil disease.
I’ve had several close adult friends lose the fight with cancer, and another friend currently in Hospice fighting for her life. It’s hard to lose a friend to this horrible disease, but somehow the loss of a child or watching a child suffer through chemo therapy, radiation, tests and more, which drains all the joy out of life ….his life, just exhausts and depletes a body of everything that seems natural!
Sometimes, as ‘outsiders’, these situations leave us frustrated and frightened. We want to do something, but we can’t figure out what! Words seem so inadequate. First and foremost we can pray. Yes, pray. We can ask God for comfort, strength, wisdom for the doctors, the right medications and a list of other requests.
Get informed! You need not be an expert, but if you have some knowledge about what’s going on through common research, it’ll be easier to respond to needs. If there is conversation, you can offer a shoulder, along with a bit of understanding as the parent, (or caregiver) shares his or her journey.
We can also do something, even if it seems like a small thing. Take the family over a meal, offer to watch any siblings, clean the house, do laundry, mow the lawn, and any variety of other creative things that can and will ease some of the stress they are dealing with.
Many movies (especially the Hallmark ones at Christmas!) will tell you that giving a gift card is so impersonal. But giving a gift card can be a welcome gift for groceries, gas, parking, meals while traveling, even medications or other supplies at the pharmacy, and even a taxi or coffee shop! It’s likely it’ll be easier for the recipient to accept a gift card than funds outright. That said, a ‘Go Fund Me’ page isn’t out of the question either.
There are organizations like St. Jude Children's Hospital, who cover the cost of the expenses for care at their facility or others who may offer assistance like Texas Children's Hospital when possible, or even the American Cancer Society and others who will help with financial assistance, if needed. But there are likely other expenses which may not be covered within the framework of all families; and actual funds are needed both during the ordeal and even the months that follow, once recovery seems like a likely outcome. The extended hospital stays, continual doctor visits, medications, lab work, and more can deplete family finances and otherwise run down even the most hardy of us!
One of my favorite ways to ‘be there’ for my friends fighting cancer is to reach out via a card or note they receive in the mail. Yes, email is an option, but an actual piece of correspondence which projects love and encouragement can provide a huge dose of joy and hope!
I was pleasantly surprised when a good friend I lost from cancer some years ago shared with me before she was taken from this life, “I love to get the cards you send. They help me get through!” I didn’t send the cards because I expected that—in fact, I was honestly floored by the comment! But I didn’t know what else to do, given the proximity of where my husband and I were, to where she lived.
Mail in our mailboxes seems to be largely bills and advertising. It’s wonderful to find an encouraging piece which we can open and hold in our hands. It’s personal and in a very real way one of the nicest things you can do which costs a little time (I make mine on the computer), an envelope and a stamp!
Best case scenario, the child beats the cancer and is finally on their way to recovery, and finally able to go back to school. The journey isn’t finished. There is always the threat of relapses or recurrence and the endless lab work and doctor visits. Never forget what they’ve been through; help when you can and always share of yourself whenever possible.
Happy Grandparent’s Day
I am a grandparent seventeen times over (plus one who didn’t live) and I adore my grandchildren! They are all very different and range in age from 27 to the youngest who is almost 4. They live all over the United States. Three live in Pennsylvania; four in Maryland; eight in Wyoming and two in South Dakota. There is one with disabilities (although with lots of love and help from family and the medical community, she is fully functional, and her disabilities are often now, invisible). While other of my grandchildren have serious gluten and dairy allergies!
Sunday, September 8 is Grandparents Day. It’s the day we celebrate the gift of grandchildren. This may be an unorthodox perspective since usually it’s ‘our day’ and we are the ones being celebrated. Let me just say while I’m grateful for being a grandparent, I’m not nearly a perfect one!
What happens, when we are surprised and ‘gifted’ a child with a disability? I’ve heard horror stories about grandparents who are repulsed by the idea. They can’t understand ‘how it could happen to them’; and completely reject the child. Relationships are broken because they can’t grasp that a child birthed to their son or daughter could be any less than their perception of perfect!
But what is ‘perfection’? Each child is born with a heart that beats, needs that need to be met, emotions that want to be realized, acceptance that needs to be offered, and love that wants to be shared. These sweet babies want, need and deserve the exact same attention that any child craves.
Understanding on the basic facts about the child’s disability needs to be realized not only by the parent, but also the grandparents. As grandparents, it doesn’t require expertise; but a general knowledge will aid in overcoming fear and anxiety while being near the child.
Time is a huge factor in any relationship. As mentioned many of our grandchildren live in states with numerous miles in between! This requires notes, cards, phone calls and visits when possible to keep the lines of communication open, as well as, letting our grand babies know they are loved, even when we can’t see them often! This is often even more necessary for the child with a disability, because they need the reassurance their ‘differences’ aren’t driving or keeping us away!
Additionally, if there is an emotional disability filled with anxiety, relationships can be even further strained, as children have a difficult time interacting with others. As parents decline invitations out, because of this, some family members may respond negatively.
As grandparents, it’s important to remember the parents are doing what they believe best for the child, even while it’s hard on them! Be supportive of the parents even if understanding doesn’t come easy. This will build a positive relationship all around.
If distance is an issue, when possible, provide help via a ‘care package’ geared toward the interests of the child(ren), including the non-disabled ones! The gifts need not be grand or expensive, but when purchasing gifts, remember all the children in the family The other children sometimes feel left out, given all the extra needed attention given to the one with a disability. They all deserve your love and attention equally.
One of the greatest ways to be an awesome grandparent —to any grandchild, regardless of ‘ability’, is to be ‘present.’ Gifts are always welcomed by children, especially if it’s on a wish list, or geared to their interest. But sitting with a child reading a book, talking about where you visited last or an experience you had—-even from your long past, can be a huge boost to any child!
When immediate contact is not available, send a video of you reading a story via email, or saved on a USB, to be seen over and over again! Let your all your grandchildren know they are important to you, are an integral part of your life and most of all that you love and accept them, just as they are!
Photo Credit Happy Grandparent 1-3
Photo Credit: Grandparent reading
Totally Capable Of Working
An article I read recently details how a child remembers her father encouraging hard work, and he led by example. It mattered not that this man’s little girl had a disability. He wanted her to understand that by pushing through, a person will find purpose in what they are doing and ultimately even find purpose in themselves. Because of this mindset, she grew up with a willingness to try, even though her wheelchair proved to be a stumbling block along the way.
She waitressed in her wheelchair and moved up to being a woman in an executive position in corporate America; even to a place of owning her own business! Her never give up attitude moved her forward on her journey, despite the obstacles.
Challenges in the workforce apply to everyone, albeit on different levels. There might be the person who needs to address large groups of people, but be terrified of speaking, so becomes filled with self-doubt. Another person may be hard of hearing—-although not entirely deaf, but cringes when people cast those momentary doubts of capability when asked to repeat what they said. Still others, are forced to work within the confines of their wheelchair, or other medical accessory that enables them to manipulate the landscape!
All of these challenges can either break a person or give them motivation to work harder just to prove they can do what they say they can. They want to demonstrate a physical disability does not make them any less equipped to handle any number of responsibilities!
In fact what may be a better perspective, is looking for what makes this person’s capabilities a unique blend of something spectacularly different, but completely efficient in the way they operate. All paths need not follow the same footsteps!
Labor day is upon us and it’s a celebration of the working person! While it seems to be all inclusive of everyone who works, in some cases it isn’t a celebration. Instead it’s a reminder to those who cannot work because of barriers not yet provided for, for those who have a disability. There are times employers will give lip service to their accommodations, but fall short of what is needed.
Other times, it’s more related to the person who fears reprisal should they admit to having a disability. When this happens, optimal work ability may be hindered, but feeling ‘cornered’, they do the best they can until a complaint comes their way, raising their frustration with the workplace.
Improvements do continue however, and a day will come (hopefully sooner, rather than later), that all people, regardless of ability, will celebrate with pride, the efforts and accomplishments provided in the workplace. Disability advocates and the disabled community continue to move forward for more accessibility, respectability, and inclusion. Strategies are being put in place which enable those who would like to work, the opportunity. It’s encouraging to believe there is hope!
Lessons continue to be learned by both the employer and employee. Circumstance, insightful commentary, and dialogue is exchanged, with the desire that this annual celebration called Labor Day, will touch the lives of everyone, with deep satisfaction and fulfilled dreams.
Curiosity Is How We Learn
While in college, professors would often tell their class when preparing them for their ‘turn’ to speak before the class, that aside from knowing their subject, it’s often helpful to find someone in the classroom to ‘speak to’. It helps with focus and ‘stage fright’.
Quite unintentionally, I am a very animated listener. It is not a deliberate behavior any more than while I’m speaking, my hands (and often my arms) are moving at the same time. It’s just how I talk—even while on the telephone and the person can’t even see me!
When someone is speaking, even a speaker I do not know, they may see me frown significantly when I am saddened, my forehead furrow when I question something or am confused, and grin largely when I understand and totally get what they are trying to tell me and others in the room. I’ve had more than several speakers approach me after they’ve finished and surprisingly thank me for letting them know where I stood while they were speaking.
When speaking in front of a group of people, I enjoy when finished, answering questions my listeners may have. Sometimes it may be a curiosity question, other times, it’s because they want clarity, to understand something specific, better. It’s up to me to respond to their question with as much simplicity and accuracy as possible, without making the person feel as if the question were ‘stupid’, since in my opinion, there is no such thing as a ‘stupid question’ if you don’t know the answer.
There are occasions in many of our days where we may have reason to interact with a person who has a disability. As adults, we should be able to communicate kindness, inclusion, respect and certainly equity, human to human.
Children however, haven’t necessarily acquired the tactfulness, hopefully we adults have gained through our personal experiences. Depending on the situation a child may never have seen a person in a wheelchair, with a prosthetic, a missing limb, or other kinds of disabilities. Often their reaction is to stare and ask the accompanying adult, ‘What is wrong with…..?”
While the child has no intention of harm or disrespect, often times, the bluntness of his question can make others uncomfortable. What’s worse is when the adult, rather than just answering the question with understanding and kindness in the simplest terms to impart knowledge, will sharply instruct the child to be quiet and mind his own business. This response implies every kind of harmful connotation, and something to absolutely avoid, because it’s bad!
Being curious is normal. It’s how we learn about our earth, what makes the weather do what it does, how a motor makes a vehicle go, how food grows, and why rivers travel in certain directions and a thousand other ideas in science! In a nutshell, it’s how we learn!
Many who have a disability are happy to answer questions if they are asked politely and kindly! But it’s important to remember they may not want to discuss their disability and may seem put off by the questions. Be cognitive of body language, both yours and theirs.
It’s vital to respect a person who chooses not to be ‘chatty’ about their situation, which is personal; any more than you would want to share information about your health with a perfect stranger. And certainly, it’s important to respect any medical equipment present, as an ‘extension of their person’ and is not to be touched unless directed (or permission given) to do so.
Curiosity is good, especially if it can help us understand others and even ourselves. Everyone wants to receive a measure of kindness and people, to share their lives with. Having a disability does not change that. It can change, however, how we, as outsiders—as those without a disability —react, respond and teach our young ones about treating others with respect, understanding, equity, and common curtesy.
Photo Credit: A Child's Curiosity
Photo Credit: Questions, It's how we learn
Creativity and Happiness
Artists intrigue me. I love that a person can place a drop of paint on a canvas and then create an image seen only within their mind. Adding more color and more swift, smooth strokes from their hands, they have soon created a piece of art that looks like it could have been a photograph.
My Amish grandfather was such an artist. While their culture (and religion) regards any human image, whether a photo or painting, sinful, my grandfather had the ability to create pictures of animals, an early homestead, and signs that were nothing less, than beautiful works of art.
One of my sons has inherited that ability and I, along with many who own his paintings, share the idea that artwork is an amazing gift! I am totally devoid of the gift of painting or drawing, especially if asked to create something from within the memory of my mind! It doesn’t happen.
On the other hand, I am able to put words on paper (or computer) which enables others to formulate thoughts and ideas in their minds of pictures they imagine the words are saying. Additionally, I am able to create stories children (and others) can read, many of which are for the disability community.
What’s interesting is how artwork is not limited to those of us who are not disabled. Creativity in whatever form it comes, is alive and well in the world of disabilities! Those with disability backgrounds are seeing performers, painters, writers, designers, and musicians, taking a creative stand. These ideas are contributing to altering social perceptions of what the disability world looks like.
Those who partake in the forums or programs available to foster growth in creative activities, are discovering a variety of growth in other ways, as well. Increased self-esteem and sense of purpose, improving communication skills and even aiding better choice making, is a bonus many hadn’t expected.
Art in the various forms often offers a non-verbal way to communicate emotions, thoughts and feelings which are expressed in unique ways beautifully, through music, painting, theatre and other artful expression. Art has the ability to even lower stress.
As lyrics are written for music, pictures created from the lives they live, or performances on the stage played to display feelings, each person, regardless of ability, can express themselves.
It’s hard, however to ‘put yourself out there.’ A person opens themself to criticism, disapproval, insensitivity of those who don’t understand, and even rejection. Even as a writer, there are days I cringe as I write words I’m afraid other people won’t understand or accept.
A person who has a disability must work through their fears which are compounded beyond mine, because of their disability! Anxiety can overwhelm. Group work can be taxing as collaboration is required and team work expected; and private emotions rise to the top causing a rawness not always welcomed.
Still, to experience the power that comes with being able to share success and even defeats through the various art media, a person grows emotionally, intellectually, and even relationally. This fact may be even more paramount within the disability community where rejection and the lack of expectation is commonplace.
As you reflect on your life, even if art in any form has never been considered an option, a class in any of the many forms it comes, may be for you. Whether it’s digital art, creating jewelry, sculpture, fashion, dance, poetry, animation, photography, basketweaving, pottery, flower arranging, woodworking or a hundred more in between, you can find yourself immersed in a gratifying experience. It matters not what your ability, or lack thereof. Discover your gifts and be happy!
To Be An Olympian
The Olympics are in full swing. We are watching basketball, swimming, gymnastics, rowing, soccer, table tennis, archery, volleyball, tennis and on and on! The participating participating train for years and years. They’ve dedicated their lives to being the best in the world at the sport they’ve chosen.
There are lots of ways to exercise but I am always in awe of those who choose to get up in the wee hours of the morning and go for a long run, or those who go to the gym on a daily basis to work out. I’m lucky if I get up at 6:00 and just get my devotional time in!
I’ve tried to schedule in exercising ‘for the health of it' and actually can manage it for a week or so, and then find myself slipping as ‘life’ hands me other things to take care of first thing in the morning. I have discovered if I don’t get it done early, before I start my ‘domestic duties’, have breakfast, or go to town, it’s just not going to happen. Still, I find a measure of motivation as I watch these incredible athletes competing day after day at such a level, I can’t even imagine!
It must be encouraging to be able to work with other like minded athletes to aid in training. Competing, while seeing others who have different strengths, even in the same sport must be helpful. It would be beneficial to see where limitations can be stretched, to make a person better in their sport.
This mindset is the same as having inclusive classrooms for those children with disabilities. There is incentive to work harder (or smarter) to make given skills stronger. This also applies in sports in a similar way. Mainstream camps offer opportunities for children with disabilities to participate with non-disabled children, which acts as an encouraging component.
While promoting fitness or just for fun, whether a child is riding a bike, swimming, hiking or playing volley ball, an inclusive environment can be challenging and inspiring for a child with special needs!
Raising a child with special needs can be a stressful and demanding job. But most parents will tell you these very special children bring them incredible joy and love that surpasses all the demands placed upon them. When they can find a place where their child is accepted, regardless of their ‘ability’, to experience the unique joy of competition, on their level, they are overjoyed.
When children are placed in the same environment, regardless of ability, early in their formative years, they each can grow from each other. Acceptance at this age is a powerful tool in the understanding and advocacy of the disability community. With each act of acceptance of differences, we are pushing back the idea that a disability or difference of any kind is something to be rejected and looked upon as something that is wrong.
Differences are not wrong, nor is having a disability. Each is just different and that is perfectly okay. We are designed to be so, and should make acceptance and inclusion commonplace rather than unusual..
Special Olympics is striving to make inclusion a part of their future. This plan will set the stage for greater inclusion throughout communities across the nation. Coaches believe the camaraderie between participants will challenge and inspire all those present, and create life long relationships.
As you enjoy the remaining days of the Olympic games, consider exercising ‘for the health of it’, or for competition and invite your kids to go along, regardless of their perceived ability or lack there-of! Enjoy the ride, just for the fun of it, or perhaps begin the training for a future Olympian!
Celebrate Equality and Differences
Holidays seem to pop up all over the place. Anyone who wants to have a holiday can usually get it. It may not be a national holiday or even an ‘official’ one, but it still hits the calendar!
There are food holidays, animal holidays, sports, literary, music events and more. Some like our historical holidays are important to remember because of the sacrifices given to make these events valid. Others are just fun and that’s a good thing. Some are awareness holidays, and these are important too.
Awareness holidays may not seem relevant to the average person, but that’s exactly the point! Medical awareness and understanding is important to each of us, because none of us know what might happen to us, on any given day. We are not promised a life free from freak accidents, medical situations caused from unhealthy life styles (or even something from within our DNA), or a birth disability or an accident that leaves us with a disability.
People have for years, been advocating for people with disabilities. Franklin D. Roosevelt, the first president with a disability, was one of the first persons in higher government who advocated for changes. But given the mindset of the era, even he held the belief that a disability was not only abnormal, but shameful; and if at all possible a situation to be overcome medically or at the very least ‘fixed’.
Rehabilitation and vocational training was gaining a foothold in the United States in the 1940’s when veterans were returning from World War II. Many viewed the sacrifices these soldiers gave worthy of care when they came home, as reason for moving forward with services and equality for those who fought in the war that left them disabled.
But there was still much to be done. Buildings needing a means of access for those in wheelchairs and bathroom facilities needed updating and even store accessibility. Transportation was almost non-existent at that time for those with disabilities,
As we moved into the 1970’s, there was a huge disparity in education for children; while many believed anyone with a disability should be institutionalized or put in an asylum. Employment remained a challenge, as was accessing public services, while other bleak and dismissive perspectives or stereotyping of this people group continued.
In 1990, President George Bush signed into law the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) to be celebrated on July 26 every year. This law recognizes those with disabilities, so that they may be given the same rights and opportunities as all their ‘able-bodied’ peers. This covers those in public life, schools, transportation, workplaces and more.
The goal of this law is to enable them to live independently should they desire to do so, without all the barriers of social, economic or other challenges thrown at them because of their disability. Certainly barriers remain and there are many challenges that must be worked on and through. But this is a start. Even now, recognizing that wheelchairs navigate differently on various flooring, or the challenge of dressing room maneuverability in a store or eating in a restaurant, still requires practice and patience for both the person with a disability and business owners who are still learning!
Often medical barriers for the disability people group are also a huge concern. It isn’t uncommon that medical personnel are not trained on how to care for many with disabilities. They haven’t learned how to adapt examinations or communicate effectively for those seeking treatment. This law also begins the process that these situations are not only recognized but remedied.
Those with disabilities deserve to be treated fairly, respectfully and kindly. Each person, regardless of ability, race, age, or other difference, should be recognized for who they are, not by what they can’t seem to do. Each person deserves to be permitted to be who he is, without guilt or shame. Let this day, July 26, be a reminder that we are all created equal, even if we are each different, just as we are designed to be!
Self-Care In The Garden
Self-care is a trendy topic right now, and while I am horrible about giving myself the gift, I completely believe it’s important. I’ve always been a busy person. One of my son-in-laws looked at our daughter years ago (in my presence) and said, ‘She never sits down; she doesn’t stop!” I laughed at the comment, and while a disagreed adamantly, I confess, it’s really hard for me to do.
Working on my computer does require time in a chair; so in a way I have stopped—-physically. But that said, I am ‘working’ and in that sense, it’s not necessarily self-care. Over the years I’ve inadvertently adopted some activities which demands sitting and while I’m not totally still, but I am off my feet while I quilt! This is probably my favorite way to unwind. It doesn’t require me to ‘think’ and I can just ‘be’.
One surprising way experts tell us to enjoy self-care is to garden! It gets us outside in the sunshine, enabling us to smell the scents floating past our nose, absorb the view around us, breathe in fresh air, tend and nurture plants—(nurturing is an innate characteristic of humans), harvest bounty which has grown and offer an opportunity to get our hands dirty and commune with nature! It even has the potential to boost our immune system. Given all the chemicals and additives in the foods from the supermarket, that’s a huge plus!
Our bodies benefit from work in the garden as we gently use muscles we wouldn’t use in other activities. We can burn calories, work our leg and arm muscles, while we plant, water, pull weeds, harvest the bounty and more!
The garden is also good for us mentally, since it affects our mood as we care for the fragile plants who need us to water, feed, nurture, sometimes prune, and connect with the beauty before us. Additionally gardening lifts our spirits when we realize our accomplishments, and even affects how we think while allowing time for the stress we are carrying to ooze away!
Gardening can also be good for our minds in another way as we plan and document the way we want to create our ‘special’ garden, decide on the vegetables, herbs and flowers of our choice. Over the months we can keep records of what grew on what date, record our harvest dates, how we used or processed our bounty and more!
All these activities are amazing therapy even for those who are disabled. When a garden is planned correctly, wheelchairs can be in wider spaces effectively, boxes can be built so weeding and ‘nurturing’ can be done, or harvest collected at the right height; and proper tools can be used to accommodate abilities. But it can also be a place to just relax and rest. Include a bench or sitting area in your garden so you can sit and read, watch the birds, or just spend quiet time.
If gardening alone is a bit intimidating, group gardening might be an alternative. When several people work together on the project, it enables mingling, and relationships to grow, which otherwise might not have happened. We all need people to encourage, help, advise, comfort, and even teach us if we are willing to listen.
We all have something to offer with unique gifts and ideas. It matters not what our abilities are. We want to be part of something bigger than ourselves, that offers joy, pleasure, enthusiasm, a measure of productivity for our lives and even an avenue to begin healing, as we care for all that we are growing. This can be accomplished through interaction with other people. But it also provides the opportunity for purposeful, private, mindfulness when we make this an important daily activity, even if only for a short period.
Photo Credit: Self-Care is Necessary
Photo Credit: Self-Care and Gardening
Know Your Neighbor
Our town is really small, but being involved in my community is important to me. I love being able to chat with people within the social groups in which I feel a part. There’s church services on Sunday, employees at my local post office, friends within the small local pharmacy, the folks at the bank and other places, which enables me to know those within the space in which I live. There is a feeling like no other when I walk into any of these places and know the person behind the counter, or many who come through the front door.
This environment aids face to face conversation, meaningful relationships, and a unifying experience. This is called community. Not every one is able to utilize ‘community’ with the flexibility their non-disabled peers have. There are those at the church where I attend who are in a wheelchair. Their disability puts them at a disadvantage to my ability to hop in my car and go, or even while in town, walk the several blocks to attend to my different errands.
Community is important to each of us, even if in different ways; as one person put it, ‘being in, is not the same as being part of’ the community'! We are all members of larger families. We are neighbors, friends, acquaintances, shoppers, bankers and everything that revolves around (and in) our community. We want to have relationships within each of the ‘groups’ to—and in—we belong. Accessibility is key to making this happen!
Additionally being able to contribute to the community is also a way to feel like we are part of it. Involvement in any number of ways makes us feel useful; like we’re doing our share, or at least being ‘heard’ if solutions are needed and we have ideas!
I read an article about a lady who was born with Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) which causes her bones to break easily. Her first break came at 9 months old while trying to roll over. She describes her parents as those who were determined to not let her disability keep her from being part of their community. Along with her family, she had friends who she could count on as she grew up, when she needed them. This environment continued through grade school and more.
At college, however, the scenario changed since she didn’t know anyone, and it took her a while to find ‘her people’—those she knew she could count on when needed, to aid with her wheelchair or walker. When she took a position in a large city, however, after college, where she again knew no one, she recognized a stark difference in the acceptance of her disability and even in those she could count on for help.
This circumstance make her especially passionate about advocating for community for not only herself, but others who faced this dilemma. We all, regardless of any disability, or character trait we inhibit, race, gender, or religion, deserve to be treated kindly, respectfully, and as a vital part of where we live.
We deserve to have relationships that can grow, be a contributor to the services and different businesses within the community, without feeling like a burden. We want acceptance of who we are, no matter what we can or cannot do.
This ideal will take time. Our society is not currently ‘given’ to unconditional acceptance, being ‘my brother’s keeper—or helper, accepting of total inclusion, and believing that everyone deserves to be treated equally. It is getting better because of advocates, from both those disabled and those without a disability, who want to see the ‘way things have always been’, change to a better quality of life for all. And if we all work together, one day; one project or idea at a time, progress can continue, so we can all live free from the barriers which darken our world.
#Community #workingTogether #oneIdeaAtATime #communityProgress #StrongerTogether #IdeasThatWork
#DisabilityInCommunity #DisabilitiesAndAcceptance #QualityOfLife #Connection #UnconditionalAcceptance
Choosing Perspective
I read an article from a lady who has Friedreich’s ataxia. She addressed how she dealt with her disability which she’s had for years, and progressed so much, that she is now dependent on a walker. I absolutely loved her perspective. The ‘positivity’ which she has toward her situation is remarkable and inspiring!
She insists that a 'right perspective' is paramount to getting through any day. In fact, the title to her article asks the question, “Am I living a disabled life, or am I living life with a disability?” Perspective makes all the difference in how that question is answered.
If a person is ‘living a disabled life’, then it’s very likely the disability is in control of life. It is what chooses what you can or cannot do. It denies you the opportunities which you are fearful of trying, like keeping you from holding a job, getting married and having children, or even getting out of bed in the morning!
On the other hand, a person who lives their live as one who has a disability, does not allow the disability to control and manipulate their feelings, attitudes, possibilities, or their day. They are free-er to make decisions on their dreams and all the possibilities that come before them. That’s a positive perspective.
Of course, even with all the positive thoughts and perspective a person can have, there are going to be days where everything becomes murky and skews mindset, plans and goals for any one day. Changing that can be a challenge in itself, not to mention how a person actually feels physically—or even emotionally! Realistically a person cannot change their disability just because they think positive and want it to change. But by choosing to change the mindset, it can change how a person responds and reacts to it.
Interestingly enough, perspective can also be affected by the medical community. The physician in the position of caring for his patient can also impact his patient's perspective about himself.
I remember years back when my husband was dealing with impossible pain in his joints. His primary care physician sent him to a specialist. The doctor literally looked at him, after hearing why he was there and said simply, “How about I give you some shots filled with (whatever the med of choice was at the time) and see if that helps?”
That is certainly an option; but the last thing my husband wanted was more medication. (He was already on quite a few medications from injuries sustained in Viet Nam.) The doctor never even touched him, or checked him in any way. This made the option of more meds even scarier. He didn’t even know what was wrong with him. I get that doctors have their expectations of what ‘most’ people need and what he should do. But each patient is different, and has specific needs.
My husband refused to take the needles, and went with another doctor, who helped him through that specific problem in quite another way. So it’s important to consider your own needs and have some idea of what you want or don’t want, based on your personal goals, desires and perspectives. There are many days my husband still fights the battle of intense pain, but he tries real hard to live a life with a disability, not be a slave to the disability.
We each make choices everyday which affects our moods, outlooks, how we treat people, how we treat ourselves, and even what we can accomplish. When we strive to keep positive, despite the challenges and trials, not only is our quality of life improved, but also those around us.
Keeping positive enables us to leave our comfort zone and reach toward the goals and dreams we’d like to see fulfilled. Our path may take a winding route to get where we’d like to be. But if we can keep moving forward (even with the occasional backward step and faltering a little) we can remained inspired, and be inspiring to those around us!
Your Adventure Can Be More Than A Dream
I saw a movie a year or so ago about a young journalist who wanted the assignment of writing story on adventure. Her boss recognized her comfort zone and strongly hesitated. He was certain she could not do it. But her insistence in her ability convinced her boss to allow her to try, even with his personal misgivings.
As she went to the huge sports complex, she had to face her fears of all sorts of challenges. She ‘crashed’ a time or two but didn’t give up. Finding someone to ‘guide’ her, allowed her to experience long hikes up a snow covered mountain, bungee jumping and much more. She discovered exhilaration she’d never experienced before and discovered a side of herself she had no idea existed!
The very idea of experiencing sports challenges is inspiring, but like the journalist before she attempted going out of ‘her comfort zone’, I am horribly intimidated by the very thought! I’m content sipping a cup of cider and staring at the mountain vistas in the distance or even along a peaceful lakeside.
While I’m not an ‘adventurer’, there are many who are. They plan extensive trips so they can witness a live lion on a safari, go para-sailing, ride in a hot air balloon, bungee jumping, ride the rapids or a hundred other things. Pictures prove they’ve been on these adventures and we just stare in awe.
There is another ‘people group’ who would love to have the opportunity to embark on different adventures, but live with barriers many of us tend to overlook. About 25 million people in the U.S. encumbered with physical or mental disabilities, and those age 65 or older, also desire to experience the same exhilaration of the activities or adventures which their ‘able-bodied’ peers partake easily.
Accommodations for those with special needs, desiring these experiences are increasing, but are still limited. However, there are groups, businesses and teams of people who are actively engaging in making travel and adventures available for those who wish to participate.
Outdoor sports activities like those who enjoy hiking trails have been designed for wheelchairs and walkers, while adaptive water sports equipment is being designed for kayaking, or canoeing. Accessible tents and tenting equipment is becoming more available, as are fishing piers and adaptive fishing gear. Adaptive bicycles for the cycling enthusiast have been built, and so much more.
We’ve come a long way in making the disability and aging communities feel like they belonged in the world we all live in. Even within national and state parks, changes are being made to help facilitate visitors with any variety of disability. This doesn’t mean everything is necessarily easy or perfect. but advances are being made, creating opportunities.
Calling ahead is always a good idea. Try to have specific questions relevant to your situation if possible, rather than vague general ones. Sometimes the person on the phone is uneducated or unknowledgeable about specific information you may need, and this applies to any travel agency you may wish to use, as well. Be clear and concise. While efforts are moving forward, not all things are as you (or they) wish they were.
It’s time our society recognizes that every person wants to feel ‘alive’. We dream of visiting the Grand Canyon, taking a cruise, hiking the Appalachian Trail, riding a motor cycle, visiting Mount Rushmore, or a dude ranch, riding horses, experiencing some aquatic thrill or a thousand other ideas. A disability or our age should not be the reason we can’t live our dreams!
Traveling ignites something within us that is revitalizing and recharging. It gives us new energy and purpose, and often times even therapeutic. It’s where we can experience new things, learn a little about ourselves and perhaps even grow in ways we hadn’t expected! It encourages us to live positively, generates leisure skills, increases goal-setting abilities, and even has the power to facilitate long term friendships! Take a deep breath and go for it!
Photos That Tell Stories
I love to take pictures! Whether it be animals, landscapes, children, foliage, winding roads, mountains, and a hundred other things. It takes me what seems like forever and a day to actually go through them, to edit and choose which one is best in any given set. I often end up saving several of each because I like them all, which is probably not a good practice given the amount of space so many pictures take on my computer!
Regardless of my interest in taking so many pictures, I am not anywhere close to being a professional! The light isn’t always right, nor the angle—especially since I’m short and often have the camera (or phone) looking up, and often not even the optimal background. It’s just something I enjoy doing so I can go back and look at them later to see where I was, or remember something I enjoyed at the time. And besides, the pictures I take are usually just for me, so I’m not overly concerned about the particulars that would make any a photo ‘professional’.
All that said, I am amazed when I see those outdoor photos which seem to defy gravity or are a close up of a wild animal or very intimate picture of a momma and her babies. Photos of people intrigue me as well, as expressions can be so powerful. Sometimes eyes look particularly sad, or lost; other times they twinkle with mischief, or adoration. It seems like you can see into the mindset of the person in the photo. I’m particularly in awe of people who can photo other people, and do it well, capturing their personality and the essence of their soul!
I’m one of those people who does not photograph well. I smile too big—making me look like I’m wearing a silly grin, or my eyes look half closed, or in my opinion, several other things, that make me a very unsuitable subject! While I have this less than stellar perspective about myself, there are others who also feel they should not be in pictures!
Sometimes a picture which doesn’t turn out like you like, has more to do with the way it’s taken. The disability people group have dealt with this problem for years. Many of the photos taken of them are more focused on the disability instead of the person they are! Or the opposite happens, and the effort is to not include, minimize, or attempt to alter the situation. This makes them seem unnatural, awkward, or even occasionally less than an optimal human being, without even the ability to have any kind of relationship!
It’s wonderful that there are those in the disability world who have taken on the challenge, despite their personal disability to change the perception of disabilities through their own photographs! They are working to provide photos of a life within the disability framework filled with love, and a fulfilled, rewarding life. They desire to create photos which share hopes, ambitions, desires and perhaps even a glimmer of their story.
Their goal is to look past the disability—but not ignore it, and expose their joy, love of life, personality, abilities and a life well lived! These kinds of photos demonstrate it’s not about what you cannot do, but about what you can; both behind the camera, as well as, in front of it! It’s all about attitude.
Life can be challenging for everyone, and usually is in some form. But promoting positivity is a powerful tool for everyone who shares in not only the problem but some of the solution! It’s inspiring and motivating when we can look past ourselves and see the potential in someone else. These moments of clarity can help each of us look inside ourselves and help us move forward, even when there are barriers we hadn’t counted on, or obstacles we had no choice in.
As you grab your camera and snap those photos that mean something to you, remember that photos have a way of telling stories we can only imagine. Share your photos when you can, because sometimes a person only arrives in this particular ‘space’ through a photograph, which can bring understanding, joy, or a sensation of being in someone else’s ‘shoes’.
Courage to Have Hope
I am an eternal optimist. I look at my cup as half-full instead of half-empty. I have dreams and expectations for the journey I chose, even when there seems to be only a glimmer of ‘success’ in the societal perspective. What’s really important is that I feel like I’m making a difference and ‘paying it forward’.
Graduation just happened for many students across the country. They have dreams and plans of a life to be lived to the fullest. Some will go to college, others to work, and some haven’t a clue yet, what they want to do. Yet, most of them will remain optimistic and filled with the hope they will find their place in society within usually a year or so—and perhaps even sooner.
There are those in our communities, however, who struggle to keep their hope alive. Life has not been kind and they want nothing more than a day without pain, scars, humiliation, and self-image completely depleted, because of a disability, over which they have no control.
Fear and a deep feeling of hopelessness sometimes grips people so much they choose to give up, instead of moving forward. It’s easy for most of us to have a decent measure of hope, even if we fail to really think about it. Our complete functionality is apparent and our minds work with amazing success—albeit at different levels, with family who love us and often, reasonably good health.
Caregivers of this ‘people group’ fight for their children (or spouses) to have ‘good days’ with medical teams helping them maintain a precarious sense of balance. Depression, diabetes, cancers of all descriptions, taunting, and self doubt cloud even those days which seem productive. But even they, fight the battles of depression and loss of hope when they see their loved one struggle, while the medical community seemingly, often lets them down, when no answers come.
Add to this the local community who looks the other way, and refuses to accommodate those with disabilities in terms of a transportation need, business accessibility, general seclusion, low tolerance, and disparities or denial of the same rights many of their non-disabled peers enjoy.
Even with all these drawbacks and hurdles, it’s so encouraging to watch these often battered human beings clinging to the hope that one day they will be successful and rise above the din of noise that beats them down!
Laws have been set in place to remedy some of the situations of discrimination many persons with disability have. But there is still much to be done. Awareness of the level of discrimination and what we as a community could do to aid in tolerance and inclusion, for these special people, would be amazing. But, it takes work and not everyone is willing. In fact many aren’t even interested!
If we as a nation would rally around those who fight these kinds of battles every single day, can you imagine the impact we could make? Kindness in any form is an immeasurable confidence builder for anyone—regardless of ability!
In your daily outings, whether at work, shopping, vacationing or doing something else, should you encounter someone with a disability, be kind. Be genuine and respond to them as a neighbor or friend. Your kindness could impact them in ways you could never imagine.
Vacation—Here We Come
Vacations are magical, adventurous, exciting, relaxing, family time, educational, and many more adjectives which makes it a ‘must’ for everyone.
Most of us have favorite places we like to visit. Our family (including all five children) can say they have been to all 48 of the contingent United States. Granted our youngest was young enough he has only pictures to prove he was there, rather than a specific memory. But he’s visited many of those same places since he’s become an adult with his own family. Our favorite place to visit, however, has always been the Black Hills of South Dakota.
I remember years ago we took my mother-in-law with us on an extended vacation. It was interesting accommodating her needs, which were much different than our children or even my husband and mine. We were anxious to walk along side the Grand Canyon with our children. The colors were stunning as the sunlight caught the different layers of the canyon making them look like they were rippling. There were times, however, when depending on how you looked at it, it felt like you were spinning, falling, or at least walking wrong. To a point, it was eerie.
My mom-in-law, however, chose to not go with us on this outing. She was content to sit on the bench. Her legs, and particularly her knees which often gave her great pain, wouldn’t have been able to make the trek. There were other instances where accommodations needed to be made because of her navigational abilities.
This kind of circumstance isn’t anything new in the world of disabilities, when vacationing or trying to travel. Challenges abound from start to finish whether it’s regarding a wheel chair requiring navigation, eateries which aren’t always helpful to folks with special needs, nor are other vacationers who choose to not be bothered with giving assistance when they could, or so busy with their own plans, even waiting on someone with a disability makes them cranky—and unkind.
Some with disabilities, because of these barriers, choose another method of traveling! There are travel experts available to make the journey much more satisfactory! They not only provide destination ideas, but have the tools to make your dream vacation happen! They make sure, where you are traveling, can accommodate wheelchairs and other necessary elements, work for their guests.
There are inclusive travel companies for those who have intellectual or development disabilities, as well. Some are non profit and offer amenities that go well beyond expectations. Ideas include vacations to balloon festivals, cruises, theater shows, even to offering guided tours to places like London, Hawaii and other places.
There is still much to be aware of when traveling with someone who has a disability. A priority is making sure medications are up to date and none forgotten. Any doctor instructions should be written down (or printed) to help give aid if necessary. A food substitution list should be available (perhaps non-perishables even included when packing) and all things medical should be carefully thought through.
Regardless of ability or lack of, planning is necessary. But travel and vacations are such a joy and provide opportunities beyond our front door, town, perhaps even our own cultures. Choose to grab your camera, journal for note taking, and other required elements, along with your loved one, regardless of ability, and venture into a place of magic, adventure and family.
Witness and share their excitement as you and all participants explore, taste the life of another culture, experience the oceans or the grandeur of the mountains. Whatever the dream, grab it and make marvelous, lasting memories!
#vacationIdeas #disabiltyVacations #LetsTravel #DisabiltyAndTravel #experienceTravel #mountains #oceans #explore
#FamilyTime #MakeMemories #TravelExperts #TravelCompanies #VacationIdeas #FamilyTogetherness #TimeForFun
Changing The Trajectory Of Graduation
School is ending for the summer soon, and classes across the nation are graduating! What a wonderful time for families and friends to celebrate the hard work and energies spent by these young people preparing to begin a new season in their life!
Our family has three grandchildren graduating this year; and I am going to celebrate with many of my other classmates, our 50th class reunion, in just another two weeks! It doesn’t seem possible that so many years have passed…or that so many of our classmates have stayed in touch all this time!
Graduation Rates Are Climbing — For Some
Statistics show that graduation rates are climbing in the U.S. That’s a good thing! Still for all the celebratory activities going on, there are those who have done their best to achieve the accolades of a graduation diploma, but fall short.
All Children Can Learn
Those with disabilities, have barriers set, that reach beyond their abilities. First and foremost, all children can learn. Some learn differently or more slowly than their peers. That’s fine. It’s no different than the child who is labeled a ‘genius’. He too, learns differently than his peers. But data also shows that most students who have a disability are capable of graduating with their peers. However, most do not.
Is The Education System Failing Disability Students?
There are strong indicators that our education system is failing disability students. It undoubtedly isn’t deliberate, but it still remains. Some parents even believe, given the current state of affairs, their child’s education in ‘special services’ was a waste. Others believe their schools don’t give their students the credit they deserve; and that their child is capable of far more than the school authorities expect.
Mainstreaming Helps Success
There are ways to circumvent the educational status of disability students, lack of graduating statistics. There are great indicators of success, when a child with disabilities is mainstreamed into a classroom. Sadly, however, many teachers are not trained to help these children succeed.
Raise Expectations
Many believe expectations need to be raised. Depending on the severity of the disability, these children need to be challenged to the best of their abilities! They still may not learn as quickly or clearly as their peers, but when they are challenged, the bar is raised, and have a chance of increasing their success.
Capitalize On Their Strengths
Support teams and efforts to capitalize on the strengths of the child with disabilities, is also a consideration. As the teams work with students, identify their strengths and refine progress data, forward progress continues. Each student is different and understanding their needs and customizing their program will enhance growth.
Change Mindsets
Changing mindsets regarding equity for school educators, parents and students, is also a critical indicator of progress. Parents need to be involved with the educational process regarding their children. It should be a joint effort with trained teachers and administrators to assure their child receives the best education possible, given what the disability might be. Being knowledgeable and knowing how the system works, even as a student, can aid movement toward graduation.
There are many more ideas and thoughts regarding this issue. Our special needs children deserve the honor of graduating just as much as their peers. They should not believe giving up is the best option; because they ‘can’t’ get it. They can! We need to believe in them, even if they don’t believe in themselves!
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