A Life Well Lived

I visited an aunt recently who has a lot of different physical issues.  She’s in her early 80’s now, but as a young wife and mother, she had boundless energy and worked hard to care for her little people and husband.  She always had a very large garden and farm animals.  She canned foods harvested and tended to the animals when her husband was busy with other duties.  Her yard boasted beautiful flower beds and plants that welcomed any visitor.  She could cook amazing dishes, sewed for her family and still made sure she had time for church activities!

At our visit a few weeks ago, this amazing, vibrant woman looked beaten as she deals with physical illness and worse an emotional loneliness.  She still has family near by and in fact, even lives with one of her daughters, yet she’s experiencing devastating loneliness.  She’s the last living of all her siblings…..all eighteen of them!  Yes, you read right.  Her mother gave birth to twelve and one set of six was inherited when her mother who outlived three husbands, remarried one who had six children! She feels alone and separated, with the deaths of her siblings.

Another woman I loved very much, my mother-in-law, suffered from Alzheimers. It was awful watching this debilitating disease steal my mother-in-law’s mind.  She, like my aunt, was also an amazingly vibrant woman.  But when this disease moved in, she changed into a woman who lived her life vicariously through “her programs,” the game shows in the morning and then the soap operas, each afternoon, until she reached the stage of not being able to cope with the world around her in any normal fashion.  I was devastated the day we moved her to a nursing home because we were, as a family, unable to properly care for her any longer.  The disease caused her to become aggressive, argumentative and unwilling to take medicine or respond to everyday situations.

Dementia is yet another villain stealing our elderly.  One well-known man in our neighborhood actually laid down in the road to nap without understanding what he was doing.  Arthritis and osteoporosis robs victims of their ability to stand and move freely, while falls cause broken hips and shoulders that are determined to not heal quickly, causing isolation and the loneliness like my aunt is experiencing now. 

Stated simply, age affects and changes all of us.  Those who deal with disabilities in any area of life, are no different and when age is added to the equation, the disability can be exacerbated. According to statistics, the most common disability affected by ongoing age, seems to be in the area of mobility which includes the inability to walk, dexterity or even stamina; followed closely behind by cognition. and independent living.  

I’m no different than anyone else.  I’m not crazy about “growing older.”  But the reality of life is, we age every day.  It’s what we do with our lives while we still are able, that makes a difference.  Again, age absolutely changes things.  And while the changes can be frustrating and debilitating, disability or not, we have much to offer those around us, as we reach what is sometimes known as our “golden years!”

I encourage you to be as productive, in as many creative ways you can, while you still have cognitive ability and health!  Use your unique talents and abilities to enjoy your life, and make other’s lives as happy and fulfilled as only you can do, and you’ll both be happier for it!

Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/930767447958119227/

The Gift of Reading and Writing

I am a notetaker.  During church services with pen in hand, I write! Other times I want to get thoughts down on paper so I don’t forget, especially when it’s related to a story I’m writing or an article I’m working on.

When I was in high school I took Gregg Shorthand and loved it!  It’s an amazing way of writing, that unless you know shorthand, you can’t read.  It was designed for those in the business world who would be taking dictation from their boss for their correspondence. 

Shorthand was created using unique lines, curves and circles which make up the alphabet and is a very fast way to take notes.  At the time I could take dictation at 120 words a minute!  The faster you could listen, comprehend and write it, the better your chances of landing a job!  Of course, while I can still read shorthand, being able to write it quickly, has completely changed.  Very often, I have to ‘think’ about how it’s done.  I’ve lost what I consider a very important skill.

Another form of writing which requires knowledge is Braille, used primarily by the blind or visually impaired.  I’m fascinated by watching someone move their fingers across the raised dots, in sequences of six,  on the page and be able to read the words and sentences there.

Like Shorthand, Braille is not a unique language, although it looks like it.  Each uses the American alphabet to create letters.  And there is another similarity.  Shorthand has what is known as ‘brief forms’ and Braille uses the same concept so familiar words can be shortened, speeding up the time needed to read a word or sentence.

January 4 is designated, World Braille Day to honor Louis Braille, the Frenchman who created this system, that opened up a whole new world to the blind and the visually impaired.  Yet, statistics suggest that only one in ten people in our modern world, actually know Braille and are able to use it fluently.  

By having a day set apart for this, it allows a platform and medium, if you will, to get the word out about the importance of learning this reading skill.  But the truth is, Smart Phones and other technological devices, like Smart Readers, which actually reads aloud to the person who is on the laptop, is taking the place of actually ‘reading.’  

Like Shorthand, when Braille is not used, the ability to use it later, is often lost.  There is currently a push to encourage visually impaired students to continue to learn this skill.  While technology is wonderful, it isn’t allowing the person to ‘read’!  

An added element to the rapidly accessible technology, which is reducing the knowledge base of Braille, is the need of school districts to provide a ‘Braille teacher’ for those learning Braille, while in a school setting. Funding is always a problem in nearly any specific area, and when school districts can offer technology as an alternative, they often consider their job done.

Consider how you would feel if you couldn’t read, unless aided by technology.  Is that where you would want to stop?  What happens when technology is down?  Can you see the merit in actually being able to write a letter to a loved one, even if it is in Braille?  

Let’s help celebrate and support this gift of Braille writing, for those who are visually impaired.  Reading and writing is a wonderful way to communicate.  Let’s not lose it!

Happy New Year, Everyone!

#WorldBrailleDay #Braille #ReadingAndWriting

Photo Credit: https://depositphotos.com/vector-images/braille-alphabet.html?qview=89972034

Wisdom Waits

My friend shares the story of the time she went to a car dealership.  The salesman came out sharing all his “official” information regarding all the different cars and their prices.  Certain she wanted the used Impala, the salesman pressured her to look at “new.”  She did; and against her better judgment, bought a new Corvette instead.  

After the fact, while she liked her new car, she did not like the several year payments.  She scolded herself more than once for not following her good judgment and just waiting for another time when she was under less pressure and then buy the car within her means, rather than forcing herself in a situation where payments often drained her of any extra funds for other things she wanted or needed. 

“Wisdom waits!” I like this idea and I believe it’s smart! Sometimes it’s in our best interest to wait and let things “soak in” before reacting.  Sometimes we hear information that leaves us with a lot of emotion and questions.  Our impulse is to deal with the person or persons involved immediately.  We want answers, now— or without ‘waiting’, share every thought that just popped in our head!  But if we were to listen to wisdom, allow our emotions to simmer down rather than boiling over, we would likely respond a lot differently.

  TV commercials command instant response.  “Order right now…. this offer might not be available tomorrow….”  And you see the same commercials for three more months!  The implication is if you don’t order today, right now…..or sometimes even in the next ten minutes, you are going to miss out on an amazing deal because the deal will no longer be available.  They are using a pressure sales tactic (like the car salesman) because they are afraid if you don’t do it right now, you probably won’t.  Wisdom says wait and think about it!  You may not need it or you might like something else similar, at better quality and perhaps at less cost.

This same idea can be used when trying to diet---or even just eat better!  Wisdom tells me if I eat the extra chips, ice cream, drink a soda, or eat sweet processed food, I’m going to pay the price with weight gain, not loss.  Add to this I am likely going to feel less than stellar, given the additives, sugars and processing of the food.  Yet, often I fail, and reach for the food that seems to be “calling my name” anyway.  If I’d listened to the reason of wisdom, I would have waited before giving in to my impulse; gone for a walk, or drink some water until “wisdom waits”, wins!

“Wisdom waits” would also be a good when a person in authority makes a judgment on an important matter without knowing all the details, and then freely shares in public his opinions on what happened.  This can be devastating, since bad or inaccurate information can hurt a lot of people, who otherwise would not be affected.

For those not intimately involved with the Special Need Community, it’s another perfect time to use ‘wisdom waits’.   When we view a disabled person or one with special needs in any form, how do we react?  What do our children or spouse see and hear?  What do your ears hear?  What do those around you notice about your reaction?  2022 is upon us.  Make a diligent effort over this next year to use the “wisdom waits” philosophy in all areas of your life!  You might be surprised at the pleasant results! 

Happy New Year, everyone!

Photo Credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/wheelchair-walk-care-disabled-3948122/

The 12 Days After Christmas

I reach under the tree for yet another gift.  It isn’t big or highly decorated, but my husband’s name is on it.   It is number seven out of twelve.  Our children are grown now, but still we continue a tradition which was started back when our children were just small.  

During Advent we celebrated each evening as we counted down the days until Christmas.  Then we had the added pleasure of watching the excitement in our children’s eyes, as they gathered around the Christmas tree before retiring for the night for twelve days after this great holiday event.  It thrilled our hearts anew as we celebrated the Christ Child all over again.

I read an article many years ago which detailed how a woman gave gifts anonymously to friends and strangers (who lived in her apartment building) for the twelve days before Christmas.  On the first day she left a casserole at the door of a family who needed a meal.  On the second day she left two loaves of bread for another.  On the third, there were three coloring books for the children; the fourth there were four books to read.  I’m sure by now you get the picture.  She was offering acts of kindness for each of the twelve days of Christmas.  I liked her idea, but living in the country created its own set of problems.

As I mulled the article over in my mind, (which has a history of going in odd directions!),  I considered the time and effort we all put into making the Christmas holiday an extraordinary event.  The planning for the meal, shopping for gifts, wrapping, decorating, baking and the list goes on.  It occurred to me, we do all these “things” for a single day.  In one fast, mind-warping moment, the gifts are opened, inspected and laid aside.   The living room is littered with the pretty paper, ribbons and bows, while boxes are tossed about and pieces of the many gifts are both near and far away from the excited recipient. 

It seems suddenly, in a mere breath, Christmas is over.  Finished! All that is left is the clean up!  Somehow I become overwhelmed with sadness.  After reading the article of the anonymous gift giving, I decided to customize it for my family, with perhaps a bizarre twist.   I decided rather than letting Christmas “end” on Christmas day, each child would have a single gift to open for the twelve days after Christmas!  My husband wasn’t a participant the first year, because honestly, he thought me nuts!  But after he saw the joy the little ones had, he joined in the next year and all those thereafter!  

The gifts weren’t large or expensive but our family was able to extend the “thrill” of Christmas for a time afterwards.  Understand we have five children, so the gifts were pencils, paper, small toys, note pads, index cards or other items the children needed. Additionally, most of the gifts (sixty at that time) were wrapped in recycled paper from the year before.  So each night, the children gathered around the tree and the children took turns, with great delight, pulling out the gifts to hand to their siblings.

It is the season of giving.  It’s the time of sharing the love of family and the Christ Child.  Could this be the year you begin the ’twelve days of Christmas’ tradition?  What fun to share with your young ones before they are grown up and gone; and they grow up so quickly!  I encourage you to collect Christmas memories—even after Christmas, to forever cherish!

Brokenness At Christmas

My friend tells the story of a Christmas during his childhood when his parents planned a trip away for the holiday.  He and his siblings were warned that to take the trip meant no gifts under the tree.  Still, Christmas morning as children, they totally expected “something!”  Surely there would still be gifts.  To their surprise they opened only a single small gift.  Smiling, they held tightly to their gift, saying thank you, while all the while feeling a painful, sick thunk in the bottom of their stomachs, and wanting to do nothing more than cry.

Years later the memory of this Christmas led my friend to want more than ever to give gifts to children who had little or nothing on Christmas morning.  What must it feel like to wake up, know that it is Christmas and while all the other children in your neighborhood are opening grand gifts, you have nothing except dust under your tree?  Perhaps even, there isn’t a tree, but an empty space where in your mind a beautifully decorated tree might have stood.  I can’t imagine that kind of pain or sadness.  Do the memories of their emptiness haunt them forever?  Does that kind of brokenness ever heal?  

There are other kinds of brokenness, as well.  Only last week a friend went to the funeral of a young girl not long out of high school who was killed in a tragic car accident; or, the family who lost a loved one to cancer recently and must face the holidays without their father.  What about the family whose sole provider just lost his job, or the family whose house burned down only weeks ago, or was struck by a horrific tornado that wiped out an entire community?  What of the parents who celebrate this Christmas alone because their child has chosen to take another road, turning his back on all that he knew and once loved; or of the family where children are being destroyed while Mom and Dad battle in the courtroom during divorce settlement?  This makes Christmas a sad time rather than a time of joy.  How does a person handle that kind of pain?

The ‘people group’ of Disabilities is yet another arena where it is easy to find brokenness.  Those with mental illness find this time of year is when depression, PTSD,  and other challenges are intensified, giving life a sense of overwhelming distress.   Disabilities impacting learning, or even physical conditions can create individuals struggling to cope with the holidays.

There is much pain and suffering in our world.  Those experiencing grief may be close to us, or only in our peripheral vision, but they are there.  And when pain is crippling relationships, breaking our hearts, or destroying our self-worth, it’s hard to experience the joy of Christmas.  

I encourage you this week, as Christmas Day creeps ever closer, to choose to recognize there is brokenness in everyone’s life; and there are those around you who try with all their might to not let you see the pain they are experiencing.  You needn’t know the problem, only notice a need and do what you can to ease their burden.  Be creative.  Offer a meal, a ride somewhere, a gift of kindness in any form.  Leave gifts on the porch for the little ones (and even the older ones if you can), invite them to dinner, offer them a cup of coffee and a listening ear, take a box of cookies, or homemade bread.  It needn’t be a grand gift. (You might even want to give anonymously.  If you give sincerely and with compassion, it will be cherished.) 

It’s Christmas, the season of giving.  Give with your heart and you’ll receive a blessing.

Christmas All Year Long

“I wish we could have Christmas every day,” my little granddaughter said admiring all the gifts under the tree.

“Why?” I asked.

“Cause then we could get presents every day,” she responded quickly.

As I reflected later on this conversation I wonder if Christmas shouldn’t really be everyday of the year.  My young granddaughter, although she knows Christmas is the celebration of Christ’s birth, is still measured in the material gifts she receives, a Christmas tree, decorations, lots of pretty lights, Santa, much company, a huge dinner and many wonderful surprises.  Best of all, it includes gifts from Mom, Dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends.  

Oddly enough, many adults measure Christmas this way, as well.  For them it is spending hours at the store buying gifts for everyone on their list, wrapping their treasures, parties, decorations and finally ending Christmas morning with the opening of presents. After the clean up and big family dinner, Christmas is over.  Their “holiday” is finished with little thought given to why we celebrate Christmas at all.  The true meaning is often lost in all the busy-ness of the season.

I challenge the theory of Christmas being only one day a year.  Christmas, like my granddaughter innocently suggested, is everyday, or at least should be.  The measurement of Christmas isn’t in material gifts; rather it’s measured in non-tangible and “spiritual” gifts.  Joy is one of these gifts that cannot be measured, yet profound.  The birth of a child, the love of a spouse, the kindness of a friend, hope in the future, or the wonder of nature all produce joy that can only be described as a gift.    

Kindness is another gift that bears no measurement.  A friend recently shared her friend has cancer, and each week my friend sends a card of encouragement.  “It’s such a small thing,” my friend said with tears in her eyes, “but she told me very often those cards help her through her day.”  Sending a card is a simple gesture, but a way to brighten another person’s life. 

Expectant hope rises in an older granddaughter as she prepares in the spring to graduate from high school.  Before her are dreams of college, career, and eventually a family of her own. We cannot know what waits ahead in any of our lives, but without the hope of attaining goals we would have no reason to work toward these dreams.  Hope, too, therefore, becomes a gift that has no boundaries of measure.

Wind howls outside my window sending chills through me.  Nature displays itself majestically as glistening snow covers the ground in a white, downy blanket. It is visible in rain that waters the earth, in flowers that bloom in spring, in natural falls that cascade down the mountainside and sunshine that warms my face.  These, too, are gifts without measure.  

As another grandchild toddles across the room, my heart fills with warmth and love.  This feeling of love is greater than all else.  It is shared with my spouse and is transcended to our children and to our grandchildren.  It is demonstrated in the way we care for them and for each other and in turn their response to us. What greater gift is there than this?  

These non-tangible gifts are the essence of Christmas: joy, love, hope, friendship, and nature.  Are there more?  Absolutely!  Loyalty, companionship, dependability, trustworthiness and faithfulness, are only a few.  The list can go on and on.  Christmas is everyday, if we choose it to be.  Is it buying and receiving material gifts?  It is part of it, but the greater gift is found in the deeper meaning of Christmas.  It is in the birth of God’s Son in a manger those 2000 years ago that gives love, hope and joy.  It is what we can give and do for each other every day of the year that demonstrates Christmas all year long.

Hope Is For All

According to statistics, about one billion people worldwide have some type of Special Need, and what makes this worse, is the reality that this ‘people group’ is also one of the most excluded groups in our society.    

I went to a conference some years ago which focused on trying to enable church services to meet the needs of those with special needs, within their congregations.  This has become a huge movement, but even here, the battle remains.

It seems the well-being of persons with disabilities is the last thing ‘other’ people want to think about.  Life is busy and we all have problems.  Yet, each of these persons have something to offer, in most of the different areas within our society.  In the political arena, socially, the economic field, or even on the cultural stage, each person should be able to participate in whatever way they are capable.

While progress is being made, inclusion, however is still a far off dream for many with disabilities, across the world and even in some places here in the United States. Many disabled are exploited, discriminated against, marginalized, and vulnerable against their rightful place in society.  They are at risk for optimal health care, rehabilitation services, social isolation, along with other circumstances which works against their personal human rights. 

The International Day of Persons with Disabilities, is designed to raise awareness and promote the entitlements and welfare of those suffering with disabilities.  Flyers, brochures, and other promotional material is created; presentations are given and findings are shared with governmental political offices, civil groups and others who are sensitive about their plight and have the where-with-all to make proclamations and set in motion, the mandates necessary, which will empower the people to make a difference for those who need it.  Leadership and participation is vital, if changes are going to be made. 

Christmas is only a few weeks away.  One of the characteristics that is “Christmas”, is hope.  It is important to the well-being of those within the ‘Special Need people group’, to be able to have hope. They need to know they are a value to their families, neighborhoods, communities, work places and to themselves.  

It’s also the time of year when depression rises, as people miss loved ones or even feel isolated from society. Celebrations are the ‘order of the season’ and many are not invited because they are viewed as different and incapable of interacting with the required etiquette, of some of the other guests there. Sometimes the scars go so deep, they feel rejected and unworthy of living.

Hope.  As we acknowledge ‘International Disability Day,’ I suggest we offer large doses of ‘hope’—-  particularly Christmas Hope— that we each are a valuable member of society, regardless of our limitations and our exceptionalities!  We all have the opportunity to bring our best to the manger—just as The Wise Men did centuries ago, as we accept each other as ‘perfectly’ created, with special gifts to share.

Reach out this Christmas season to those who feel forgotten and often labeled an outcast, at least in terms of social interaction.  We all need to feel loved, the warmth of another person being kind, and hope, —which can be the best gifts of all.

Photo Credit: https://hopeforthebrokenhearted.wordpress.com/2016/12/25/prayer-for-dec-25th-2/

The Diabetes Journey of Children

I had a friend during middle and high school who had diabetes.  I never knew it.  We rode the bus to school together every day, and not once did she ever let on she wore a monitor to keep track of her diabetic numbers.  

It wasn’t until we were in our late fifties, while talking about health issues, that diabetes entered the conversation.  She then shared with me she wore the device as a teen, and then showed me the device she still wears.  I was wowed!  She seemed so brave and accepting of ‘what just is.’

But diabetes can be scary.  Statistics show that 5-10% of those who have diabetes fall into the Type 1 category and are usually children, teens and young adults.  The symptoms occur rapidly and require daily insulin to manage.  And, sadly, knowing how to prevent Type 1 diabetes is still a mystery. 

Another friend shared her story.   “Finding out I had diabetes, about scared me to death,” she explained.  “I was only five, and already had been told I had some kind of seizure disorder and I was allergic to gluten and dairy.  My Mom had diabetes, and I just remembered her struggling.  It was awful.”

Eventually once a child (or family) gets used to the fact of the illness and learning what cam be eaten, —-or not, to keep blood sugar levels stable, makes life easier.

One of the hardest parts of it for children, is having to deal with it while in school. There are misunderstandings.  It’s not a contagious condition, which some believe.  But seeing someone use a glucose meter in the nurse’s office, what it is and why it’s used requires explanation.  It becomes a very normal part of the daily routine.

Not being able to celebrate in the classroom when someone is celebrating a birthday or on Valentine’s Day or at Christmas when there is so much sweet stuff around, is another really tough thing for some children, who feel left out, when they can’t enjoy the treats, as well!

But managing diabetes must be the focus, once a person is diagnosed with the illness.  When parents understand this fact with their child, coming to grips with their new ‘normal’ is a little easier.  It’s a joint effort with caregivers, to maintain balance.  It doesn’t have to be debilitating, but support can be a key element in a healthy lifestyle.

Every child (or person) is unique and each deals with illnesses differently.  Some respond positively like my friend from middle/high school.  Others aren’t so fortunate; and that can come from a variety of circumstances.  

It’s what we do with the information we have, whether or not the journey we are on will become a ‘storm’ in life, or just a ‘wave’ in the water.  Knowledge is helpful, but it’s up to us to use it to the best of our ability.

Sunday November 14, 2021 was World Diabetes Day.  The theme this year is “access to diabetes care.”  Even after a century of knowledge about insulin, many around the world still do not have the care they need.  Ongoing care, support and understanding is vital to avoiding complications.  

Let’s get on board to support those with this disease, to share the information which can be a benefit to a healthy lifestyle!

Photo Credit: https://www.pexels.com/search/diabetes/

My Rainbows

The following is a guest post by Ruth Bruegger which was first published on Lillian Brummet’s website, September 30, 2020. 

I hope you’ll enjoy it.

https://ezinearticles.com/expert/Lillian_Brummet/13924

My Rainbows

By Ruth Bruegger  |   Submitted On September 30, 2020

I kept seeing rainbows in my life. A new friend sent me a picture of a Rainbow that appeared on her wall, because of the Crystal hanging in the window. Then the next posting I saw was a picture of a Rainbow Stone. I noticed references to the rainbow was appearing in different articles that I was reading.

I believe if I keep seeing repeatedly a word or picture, I should pay attention. What did this mean to me? I wrote a children's book Count Candy Corn and I wanted to create a series about Count Candy Corn going under color.

This brings me to the present. I have been on a spiritual journey this last year. The blessings of being old enough and not being run by a clock has given me this opportunity. I was reared Christian and I do have a strong faith. I have also opened my heart to other cultures and religions. I have joined different groups. I have never seen a more significant time in my life that kindness and caring needs to return.

This is not to preach but just to share my journey. I am sure I am not the only one who views their life and looks for significance or what impact you can make before your earthly time is over. The best lessons I have had in life is stories told to me from my elders. I had the imagination to soak up and visualize their stories. They became part of my journey. The older people gave to me what my parents did not have and that was time.

What does this have to do with rainbows?

Everything from my book, my Christian Faith, my respect of other people's faith and beliefs, the multicolored people our planet has and the oneness of the world. The world is a circle and we are all the same. We as a human species have children to love and nurture. We hurt when one of our family members are taken from us. We all need water and food to live. We need to love and be loved and this is from the very young to the very old.

I am a seeker of knowledge and I share. I have had to learn I share too much sometimes. I have been told I am too deep and at times I viewed this as a flaw in me. What is wrong with me? Why do I need to share? I have been over the years not loving myself and seeking approval from other people who had their own problems and hang ups.

The realization, I have learned to forgive from my heart people who have offended me both physically and mentally. I realized that I had trouble forgiving my own human failings. This is significant if you do not forgive and love yourself how can you love others?

My journey begins again with each day. What will I learn today?

Ruth Bruegger is a published author of the books, "Count Candy Corn" and "Born-Lived-Died". Ruth and her husband Hans reside in Rockford Illinois. The website for the children's book is http://www.countcandycorn.com

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Ruth_Bruegger/139683

https://ezinearticles.com/?My-Rainbows&id=10361020 

Photo Credit: www.google.com/search?q=free+pictures+of+being+on+a+journey+with+a+rainbow

ADHD or Something Else?

A few years back my husband and I were planning on moving to another part of the United States.  As we were getting settled, I needed the attention of a new physician.  Upon meeting the doctor for the first time, was the usual questions which I, of course, answered. 

I’ve found over the years that when I am nervous or get excited I talk in ‘fast forward’ and I always use my hands when I talk, regardless of what speed I’m using!  Not unusual, I was very nervous during the appointment—- there seems to be something about the doctor’s office that unsettles me.

After the appointment I received the normal ‘after doctor visit paperwork’ and to my surprise the doctor had put in his records, “This patient shows signs of ADHD!” As a 60+ aged woman, I laughed right out loud!  It had never been suggested that I had any such issue.  For me, it was all nerves!  No, I certainly do not have ADHD!

While I could laugh at the doctor’s assumptions, ADHD is not a laughing matter.  It’s a problem we see in children more and more often and it isn’t surprising when you consider the stressors.  We (including our children!) live in a stress filled world, where busy seems to be best, with decreased sleep hours or good sleep, compounded with the enormous amount of additives that lives in our processed foods, and overstimulation, given all the video and technological devices our children (and adults) live with every single day!

Sometimes the diagnosis of ADHD forces the person onto medications to help control the manifestations that seem to overpower them.  This helps enable the victim to center and focus on the task before them, and perhaps take the edge off the desire, or need to call out in a classroom, which can be annoying for a teacher, as well as, students in the room.  

Medication can aid not only academically, but also in relationships.  Friendships stabilize and improve so others begin to include them in events where before, because of bad (or at least a different) behavior, they were not included.

It’s always considered progress when a patient is able to either lessen the dosage or completely stop taking the medication altogether.   Progress is also celebrated by both the doctor (or clinician) and the student who learns that getting organized with a planner or calendar enables them to finish their homework or other tasks that have often been challenging. 

It’s interesting to note that girls tend to have different symptoms than boys.  While boys are busy (hyperactive) and seemingly into ‘everything’ (impulsive) girls tend to withdraw, having very little self-confidence.  Girls with ADHD often feel attacked, even by the person not intending to do so.  

A teacher may accuse the student of being smart, but not taking responsibility and instead of making a positive, encouraging statement, make a remark that further debilitates the child’s efforts.  This ‘silent disorder’ as some call it, needs first to be recognized, then handled with kindness and affirmation that she is smart, capable and able to succeed, no matter what else seems to be happening.

ADHD is a complicated disorder and affects children differently.  Sometimes medications are required to help focus and calm.  Other times a serious amount of love and affection, encouragement and affirmation are the perfect antidote.  Whichever is needed, we need to remember as peers, that a child doesn’t always understand why he or she behaves like they do—- they just are and can’t help that.  We need to be cognizant of the way we handle it, for both the child’s best interests, as well as, our own.

Photo credit: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-awareness-month-2021/amp/

Choose Life With Hope

We live in a society driven by what others think and expect from us.  We work hard to make ends meet and sometimes even, to do better than our neighbor.  It’s all about the presentation.  But this drive to succeed can be so consuming, it takes all the life out of us, especially if we aren’t succeeding in the way we think others will accept. 

What I’ve described is the world of adults.  Right?  What if I said this is also the world of our young people, our very young people?  Doesn’t seem so likely, does it?  Yet it is also truth.  There was a time, not that many years ago, I would never have spoken (or written) the word ‘depression’ in the same sentence with the word ‘child.’  It seemed so unlikely.

I remember when one little boy I knew was angry, very angry.  At six years old he was mad at the world and went so far as to say he wanted to kill himself.  How is this possible. Did he even know what he was saying. I was stunned!  Yet, even with this information, I didn’t think depression.  I thought only anger.  I didn’t realize anger begets depression.  A young person of just six who has dealt with loss, rejection, upheaval of his world, and more, has a right to be angry—-and perhaps even depressed; and it’s time we as adults, recognize it for what it is.

One girl said she knew she was having issues when she was angry all the time.  She’d kick and scream and throw things, and all the while wonder who she was.  She was lost in the cycle of anger, fear; and yes it took her to a dark place we define as depression.

Just like adults, our children react to their world through intense emotions.  They don’t know how to deal with the way they feel.  It’s scary.  Even if they have a best friend, who’d believe them or understand them, if they couldn’t define it and understand it themselves?  

Sometimes the depression goes on for so long, the deep hole in which they find themselves, seems overpowering. They’ve lost hope and even the desire to live.  These young people who deal with bullying, loss, and rejection, are tormented to the point where they’ve lost all hope.  They feel alone and believe ending it all is the only answer.  

There is hope, however, but they’ve got to choose it, before any behavior which can’t be reversed, happens.  We, as adults, need to recognize the signs and seek help for our youngsters through people trained to pull out the hidden hurts and anger buried deep within the surface of their minds.  

It’s Depression Education Awareness Month.  Have you witnessed signs of depression in a young child or youth?  Christmas will be upon us in just two months.  This time of year seems to intensify depression in young people, just as it does in adults.  Don’t allow the joy of the season to be stolen by depression; even for a moment.  Offer or seek professional help on their behalf; someone they can talk to. (Or for yourself, if needed!) Don’t let depression go untreated.

(An added note: The 6-year-old I mentioned did eventually get help and worked through his anger and pain.)

Photo Credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/man-lonely-hiding-sad-young-alone-1822414/

Celebrating Victories

Babies are amazing.  Even with babies we don’t know but pass in the super market or mall, we find ourselves often stopping, to say “Hi “to or coo and fuss over, or we do our best to make them smile.  Memories of our own little ones flood our senses and cause us to smile and in some small way tickle the desire to just want to hold one again; to cuddle and love on these precious little ones so dependent on our care.

Even teen girls are quick to pick up a little one.  I’ve seen many approach a new momma and ask if they could hold the little one, just for a few moments.  In fact, some will even ask if they can cuddle the little one even through an entire church service!  These little ones just have a way of endearing themselves just because they are small, radiate tenderness and are willing to cuddle; something most all people appreciate! 

There was one such little one in our church congregations years ago, but she was extra special.  She was a Down Syndrome baby.  As she grew into her childhood, people continued to adore her.  She was quick to hug and smile, and it seemed she always found something nice to say to whomever stopped to chat.

As the grew into a young woman, her character never changed.   She  radiated warmth, enjoyed life, was loving and filled with joy, but realized she did not need to be the center of attention.  She  remembered to ask how you were and about your week.  She was a happy child who loved people.

She is not unique to the Down Syndrome world.  Ask most any parent with a Down Syndrome baby and they will tell you the same thing.  My little friend from church’s momma used to always say, “She has taught me so much.”

It is Down Syndrome awareness month and I wonder how much those of us who do not have such a special child really know about their world.  The genetic condition is often, but not always, accompanied with heart issues, sometimes requiring surgery, as well as, other medical problems.  It affects both physical and mental growth, and it’s usually easy to identify their disability by the differences in facial structure. Additionally, the degree of disability does affect their level of cognitive and functioning abilities.

But this is not what Down Syndrome children want you to know and understand.  More importantly than their differences, is their desire to be treated like every other child on the planet who has dreams, ideas and the ability to carry them out.  

There are success stories!  One young girl started her own business selling dog treats based on her love of animals.  Another was invited to a New York City art exhibition featuring her paintings!  Still another was on her way to college to become a dance teacher, and another had her sights set on the Miss America pageant after winning at the county and state level pageants, and there are many, many more who have started their own business or succeeded in other ways.  

These are children who deserve the chance to try!  Their drive isn’t just for personal accomplishment, but to show the world they are worthy of the calling and innate gifting, God enabled them to deliver.  We, as their peers should cheer them on and join them as the celebrate each step up the victory ladder!

#DownSyndromeAwarenessMonth   #DownSyndromeVictories  #SpecialNeeds#GiftedChildren  #DownSyndromeBusinesses  #BabiesAreAmazing  #BabiesOfferBlessings   

Crossing The Line To Cruelty

  “Kids will be kids,” I remember hearing this when I was younger; but I refuse believe children are naturally cruel.  I don’t know whether the behavior is learned or it’s just become part of our ‘modern’ culture to be mean to another person— and here I’m not just talking about kids!

I remember as an elementary student being teased and taunted for being different.  My parents moved around a lot and I spent each of my first six years of school in at least one different school.  It set my sister and I up for low self-esteem and a level of shyness, that for my sister, was nearly debilitating!  It seemed we’d no sooner finally get settled in and we’d move again and have to start all over; meeting new teachers and trying to make new friends.  It was a tough time, and I wasn’t even in middle school yet!

Middle schoolers face an even greater threat of bullying, now more than ever.  Our society is littered with music filled with hate and often social media platforms which crosses the line of what can be said and shared.  Sadly children are sometimes bullied to the point they air their own suicides on line.  

To make this even worse, this is the age where our ‘tweens’ seem to shut us out, as parents.  They face their trial alone, certain they can handle it, or worse, afraid that should they speak out, the repercussions would be even greater.   Our once adorably, cuddly, chatty children are in hiding to everyone, but their peers.

It creates fear, anxiety and tension not only in the child, but also in the parents.  We’re wondering what went wrong.  How can we help?  Why won’t my child talk to me?  What did we do to lose their trust?  Along with a thousand other questions. Still they say, “Kids will be kids.  They’ll work it out.”  What happens if they don’t?  Bullying seems to beget bullying and it seems no one is safe. And with the existence and accessibility of the internet, the cruelty is ramped up another notch or two.  It’s all about being in the right ‘social position’ with just the right ‘friends.’

I’d like to take this idea just a step further, however.  No child should ever be bullied.  But there is one victim who is even more vulnerable that the “average child who gets bullied!”  The Special Needs child is a target at far greater risk.  A child with special needs is usually less likely to stand up to his tormentors than even the most shy child.  He didn’t choose to not be able to run as fast, or not talk as eloquently as his peers.  He didn’t choose to wear a given birth mark, or have Down Syndrome, arthritis, epilepsy, dyslexia, ADHD or autism, cancer or fifty other “special needs” common to our children.  Yet these “needs” define him!

And sadly, our society doesn’t always stand up to those who bully.  Peers of ‘said bullying,’ are afraid to step in, because they could be the next victim.  Rules are in place, but are hard to enforce if the ‘right person’ isn’t a witness.  It’s a complicated (and often convoluted system) and it’s time we, as parents, friends, neighbors, and advocates of Special Needs children, to join hearts and hands, abilities and determination to stamp out this cruelty, called ‘bullying.’  Words hurt, and can leave lifetime scars. I hope you’ll attempt to learn more about this, during this month designated “Bullying Awareness Month.  It’s time bullying no longer frightened, intimidated, or threatened any child. Let’s make it happen!

  #BullyingAwarenessMonth  #TimeToStopBullying  #BeAnAdvocate  #KidsWillBeKids  #BullyingIsCruelty

Photo Credit: http://clipart-library.com/clipart/rijkB5BiR.htm

Arthritis Isn’t For Kids!

When our second born entered fourth grade, we discovered an unusual problem, and it often happened while she was at school.  For no apparent reason she would turn bright red on her knuckles, knees and of all places, her ears— and it was hot to the touch!  It was beyond frustrating since the episodes would only last for two to five, sometimes ten minutes, and then go away.  She didn’t feel horribly sick, although it made her feel weak.  

Of course we didn’t have iPhones back then so I could take a picture, so describing this to a doctor was beyond difficult!  (And we didn’t have a Polaroid one either!) For a while the doctors thought she had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Eventually the episodes did stop, and whatever she had was not confirmed—or completely identified, since JRA symptoms can disappear in children.  (Statistically, it is believed that half of children affected with this disorder, outgrow it.)  

Fast forward almost thirty years later to her third born, who does have confirmed Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Her daughter doesn’t have the same intense redness her momma did, (although there is some) but she too, becomes weak, gets a headache and is completely fatigued, especially when bad weather is moving in.  Knowing my grand daughter has JRA, and even though our daughter was never ‘officially’ diagnosed with JRA, it causes me pause.

I admit, before the doctor suggested my daughter had any chance of having JRA, I was clueless. I always believed arthritis wasn’t for children.  It was all about getting older with the weather changes being ‘felt in our bones’!

Most of us know what arthritis is, but we think of it, in terms of ‘seniors’. Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis is an autoimmune disease, that attacks a child’s immune system.  The inflammation and stiffness affecting the joints can be very painful.  

Additionally, there is information which explains it can also attack organs like the heart or lungs.   There are many factors involved in this condition, including, (but not limited to) genetic and environmental.  Research continues, as does awareness about the disorder.

Awareness is important not only to the victims of the disease, but for the general public.  As an ‘invisible disease’ it can stay hidden from other people for many years, while the victim suffers quietly.  This is one of those situations where sadly, as onlookers, we may question any disability placard or other insignia displayed.  

Compounding daily pain and discomfort, the pain shifts and can be heightened from day to day.  As I watch my young grand daughter, it’s heartbreaking to see this busy, industrious little girl curled up on the couch, while her siblings are outside playing.  Sometimes, because a weather system has not yet moved in, we are confused by her behavior, since she almost never complains.  Then when we think it through, we have an ‘a-ha’ moment!

Making a child comfortable during flare ups of this disorder is important.  One of those ways is making sure they have prescribed medicine to help ease the pain; make sure they are exercising and eating right, which can be challenging when a child feels bad.  Add to this our love, and a huge dose of compassion and understanding. 

Photo Credit: https://www.google.com/search?q=pictures+of+JRA+in+knees&client=safari&channel=iphone_bm&biw=1437&bih=749&sxsrf=AOaemvK31vxmNlu-

The Gift Of Sign Language

When I was in high school, if you took the ‘college prep’ track, then taking a foreign language, like Spanish or French, was required.  It terrified me! I was delighted when I discovered the ‘business track’, which I wanted, since I was certain our family could not afford college anyway, did not require this.  Imagine my surprise when many years later I discovered that American Sign Language is also considered a foreign language!

Now, one of my grand daughters is studying Spanish and her nine-month old sister is learning ‘Sign’!  No, she doesn’t have a hearing problem, but it’s a wonderful skill to have.  While the baby is learning this ‘foreign language’, so is the rest of the family.  I have to chuckle when even the dog responds to ‘Sign’!

I remember watching a movie several years ago where a couple was eating in a restaurant.  While they were eating, two men came in and the waitress was getting their order.  I’m not sure who was more frustrated—-the waitress or the man trying to give the order. 

The young woman at the other table saw the situation and told the waitress what the man was trying to say.  The guy with her was astounded!  “How do you know Sign language?” he asked.  “My dad was unable to speak,” she answered, “so we all knew Sign language to be able to communicate.  It’s how I grew up.”

Those images and conversation have stayed with me, and I’ve since wanted very much, to learn Sign language.  Anyone who knows me will tell you, I’m a chatter, and I do much of it with my hands, even though I am completely capable to use my voice!  Even though I tend to accentuate what I say with my hands, and use a great many facial expressions, should I meet someone who really needs this skill, I would not be able to communicate!  That thought gives me pause.

I can’t imagine not hearing the birds sing in the early morning, breakfast sizzling in the skillet, my grandchildren talking all at once, the sound of the ‘belly laugh’, Gospel music, crickets, wind blowing through the pine trees, rain hitting a tin roof and the list could go on forever.  Hearing is what brings the world to our senses.  We can hear ‘it’ even when we don’t have a visual!

Our world is filled with people who are either somewhat hearing impaired or have total hearing loss.  I am awed when I watch people who ‘Sign’ during a music presentation or during conventions when many people are attending.  It makes me wonder how many in attendance need this added benefit to be able to ‘hear’ what is being said.

I just read a post from my hearing impaired friend in SD that a police department in Kaysville, UT is learning sign language.  This is how important knowing how to communicate is.  I agree with her, “This should be everywhere!” she commented.

September 23 is International Day of Sign Languages; and it’s interesting to note that many countries have their own specific ‘Sign’.  It is believed that there are between 140 and 300 unique sign languages world wide.  Apparently different areas have specific nuances much like different areas around the US have their own dialects and even slang, cultural words and expressions.

Learning sign language is so important, even if a person can speak well!  What a great way to make yourself available to those who can’t speak aloud!  I challenge you to consider learning a foreign language: the language of ‘Sign’! 

Children Deserve To Live

Our world is in the middle of a huge battle with the Coronavirus.  The statistics are staggering on the number of people affected by the virus, whether a person is vaccinated or not.  As the germ mutates, even children are being negatively impacted.  It’s affected all areas of our lives.

There’s another ‘germ’ in our midst that from a childhood perspective, sometimes get a little overlooked.  Childhood Cancer.  Statistics indicate it has become the number one killer of children by disease. The information regarding this monster beast, like the Coronavirus, is also astounding.  It is estimated that over 15,000 children, from birth to age 19 are diagnosed with Cancer every year in the US.  Of this number about 20% of these children will not survive.  I have a hard time even processing this information!

I had five children and can’t imagine the trauma that must come with the news that my little person could have such a mountain to climb.  While I never experienced this grief, I mourn for all those lost and for all the families who face this trial, every single year.

There are varied opinions why our little people are deluged with this kind of viper.  While some will tell you diet plays a large role in the cell breakdown of children, others claim it’s our environment, given all the pesticides used on plants, and toxins found in our homes. 

It is possible diet may play a role during pregnancy.  It’s common knowledge (although often ignored) that eating lots of red or processed meat is not good for you, given the hormone, synthetic additives and salt hidden within.  We know that junk food and sugar all are best left alone, when we consider all the chemicals found in their pretty little packages, which has the ability to tantalize our taste buds.  All these factors affect a child being carried within the womb.

Others will tell you, however, like St. Jude research hospital that nearly 10% of these children inherited a genetic mutation.  Read (https://www.stjude.org/get-involved/other-ways/childhood-cancer-awareness-month.html#statistics) for the full article.

Regardless of how a child develops cancer, they and their families suffer.  They endure pain, fear, medical therapies and expenses among other trials, during their journey, in an attempt to recover.  Even when recovery comes, however, it isn’t the end of the process.  Most will have residual problems the rest of their lives, creating days when they are in agony, due to the manifestation of the cruelty their body has endured.  

One teenaged survivor shared how she was bullied after her recovery.  Her peers believed she was faking the issues she was having in school.  This is horrific!  No one wants to feel this bad!  All children want and deserve the right to live happy and productive lives.  

Cancer has a way of hiding from an outsider’s eyes.  It causes pain and discomfort in ways a victim hadn’t expected, even after the ‘disease’ is officially no longer in their body.  There are long time effects that can’t be seen by anyone—- but hauntingly real to the one still fighting to stay on top!  

Disabilities come in many forms and sometimes it’s an invisible disability.  As onlookers, we need to be cognizant of the person who parks in handicapped parking even when to our inexperienced eyes, we don’t see the problem they are facing.  I know there are those who will abuse the use of the handicap placard, but I’d like to think that compassion is more often honored, even when we can’t see the disability.

#ChildhoodCancerAwareness   #ChildhoodCancer   #ChildrenDeserveToLive #CancerKillerOfChildren   #InvisibleDisability   #LifelongMedicalProblems   #CancerStealsOurChildren   

Therapy Animals Improving the Quality of Life

Our family has two pets, a white German Shepherd, Tatanka, we call the ‘great white beast’ because he’s over 110 pounds, but is protector of the property and his charges, our grandchildren who live next door.  We also have a very timid and flighty inside cat. 

We bought Tatanka from a private seller who had taught him a lot of bad manners and habits which needed changing once we adopted him a just over a year old.  Little Bear, our cat, we adopted from the SPCA who’d spent nearly the first six months of his life in a cage and had no idea how to respond as a normal cat.  While he is much more social now, he still hides when company comes in, and jumps at the drop of a hat!

Neither of our animals are considered ‘therapy animals’ but in our family, both the cat and the dog are loyal to my husband, who has been sick for some time.  The cat will curl up next to my husband almost as soon as he sits in the recliner.  The dog follows him everywhere when they are outside!  Given my husband’s health, the cat offers calm since my husband will stroke his back without even thinking and the dog lets us know where we can find his master!

Animals are amazing creatures, and not just cats and dogs, although they are the ones most people consider the best for therapy. Other animals, such as, alpacas, Vietnamese Pot Bellied pigs, birds, cows, horses and other animals can serve the same purpose.

When trained correctly, these amazing animals can offer love, support, and other kinds of therapies for their masters.  One dog I read about was rescued after being badly burned.  The vet, to whom the dog was given, discovered the dogs unique qualities, personality and nature that now, after training, can offer therapy to humans who have been burned. 

I love the stories about soldiers who have a dog assigned to them that stays by their side through all elements of their duty.  What’s amazing is when one of these dogs saves his owner from certain death because of a heroic act of bravery.  

Some cats apparently have the uncanny ability to sense when a person is dying and have been known to curl up on the bed in a nursing home with a person nearing his end on earth; staying until the person is called home. 

Not all animals can become therapy animals, but even untrained pets who offer joy, comfort and love, can offer incredible quality of life to an elderly person all alone, a child facing a debilitating disease, a disabled person who needs the added element of an animal close by, whether it be for a sight disability or a person who needs emotional support due to PTSD caused by trauma from being in the battle field, or another kind of trauma induced need.

Studies have shown that an animal need not be a pure bred to be worthy of being a therapy candidate.  It seems those animals who faced intense cruelty or otherwise injured in their own right, have the unique qualities required for becoming the perfect partner for someone in need.  

I am no animal trainer, and I laud those who have the ability to create the needed habits and mannerisms to make them certified therapy animals.   Perhaps you can see your own pet as adding a unique quality of life to your family.  

Or perhaps you are a person who may need a therapy animal.  There are organizations who handle this and may even help you get YOUR pet trained.  One, of many good places to start might be:  https://medicalmutts.org/how-to-get-a-service-dog/ , the ASPCA or even the Humane Society.  It can’t hurt to inquire, if you are in need.

#DogAppreciationDay  #AnimalAppreciationDay    #AnimalsAndDisabilites #TherapyAnimals  #AnimalsForComfort  #AnimalsForKidsWithDisabilities #CertifyPetsForTherapy   #RescueAnimalsForTherapy  #ImprovedQualityOfLife

Mosquitoes In The Great Outdoors

“There’s a mosquito flying around my head and I can’t get it,” complained my husband.  “You’ve got to find it.”

“Seriously?” I whined.  “It’s not bothering me!”

“You’ve got to get it so I can sleep,” he maintained.  So I rose from my sleepiness in the middle of the night, flicked on the light, stood on the bed near the brightness and tried to find the little beastie!

Yes!  This actually happened more than once in the early years of our marriage! He, I reasoned, was the one who really had to sleep in order to be able to get up for work the next morning. It mattered not that he woke me from my sleep, or that I had a baby to tend to during the day!  I’d be able to find a moment later in the day, hopefully, to nap.

Mosquitos are what seem like fickle little creatures that can bite a body to pieces in a matter of moments.  Even while in the same ‘space,’ with my husband, he seemed to be one of those whose body scent attracted them.  When that female mosquito would light on his body, she’d pierce his skin, lubricate his flesh with her saliva, and suck his blood out.  

These actions would enable her to produce the eggs she would lay, that would create more of these tiny flying critters!  I’m not sure at the time I realized the importance of protecting ourselves from these bites.  Certainly, no one likes being stung or bitten by anything.  It brings swelling, itching and sometimes even pain.

But these little varmints can be downright deadly!  Sir Ronald Ross discovered the females can transmit malaria in 1897.  They are also responsible for the West Nile Fever, Yellow Fever and more!  And, it takes a single bite of an infected mosquito to cause an infection.  

Because of this discovery, World Mosquito Day (August 20) was initiated to educate and bring awareness to people across the globe of the poison these little brutes can carry.  The day was created to let people know the importance of keeping yards free of standing water; including that which can be beneath leaves and other debris left in gutters, standing pails or even bird baths and water left for outside pets.

In addition to removing standing water, a favorite place to lay eggs; mosquitos also like grass clipping, raked leaves, compost piles or even thick vegetation of any kind in which to hide if there is any moisture within.  The vegetation is also protection from any breeze, since they find it difficult to fly when there is any wind motion.

Thankfully there hasn’t been many reported cases of mosquito borne diseases here in America, for some years.  Yet there is about 50%  of the world where information is lacking about the risk for outbreaks. According to some documentation, there have been four cases of  malaria transmission since 2000 here in the United States.  But there is concern that the risk is rising due to international travel and our lack of preparedness, should an outbreak occur.

I encourage you, while enjoying the ‘great outdoors’, beware of the dangers of mosquitoes insomuch as you can, around your personal space, and dress appropriately when entering an area likely filled with mosquitoes.  The last thing any of us need is one more ‘virus’ to turn our world upside down!

#WorldMosquitoDay   #WearLightClothing  #Malaria  #StandingWaterAndDebris   #WestNileFever  #FemaleMosquitosSpreadDisease  #RisksRisingForAnOutbreak #TheGreatOutdoors

Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/837247386979572716/

‘Leftie’ And Happy

Photo credit https://www.istockphoto.com/search/2/image?phrase=left%20handed%20writing

We celebrate ‘Lefthanders Day” on August 13 while living in a right handed world.  Somewhere between 10% and 13% of the world population is left handed, including my left handed daughter married to her left handed husband, who have at least one left handed child.  (They have another baby with yet undetermined hand dominance.)  

I also have a ‘should have been’ left handed sister.   My parents, who thought being left handed came from Satan, disciplined my sister until she learned to use her right hand. 

My parents aren’t unique to the idea of left handedness being a bad thing!  This perception of wickedness is long embedded in history.  “Sinister” is derived from the Latin word “sinestra” or “left.”  Through the years left handed individuals have been tormented, even persecuted for their innate ability to write differently from what was considered socially normal. Even into the late 1800’s, left handed dominate people were believed to ‘be in alliance’ with the devil!

Even now, our society connects ‘left’ with negativity.  In a dance a person may say, “I have two left feet,” while it’s good to be “a right hand man.”  Some suggest if both a right handed and left handed person see the same images in a list and are asked to choose between the two, the right handed person is more likely to choose the items on the right, the left handed person, those images on the left; and this can, in theory, supposedly, even affect voting ballots. 

In our ‘right handed world’ my microwave, refrigerator, and other appliances work from the right; including the placement of my dishwasher to the ‘right’ of the sink!  Desk drawers are typically on the right and scissors and often complex machines in industry are made for ‘righties’, as well.

Some have argued that being left hand dominate, should be considered a disability.  My daughter would argue (loudly) that it isn’t!  It does require some adaptation, but certainly doesn’t usually inhibit a person from performing tasks or deplete the quality of life.  Still it is an inconvenience, which is why people are trying to create awareness of the unique struggles created in our ‘right handed’ world, even if unintentional.

Because of this, in 1990 a Left Handers Club was created to bring awareness to manufactures and others who could have an impact on making subtle changes in new merchandise that would work better for ‘Lefties.’  This eventually led to Left Handers Day in 1992; a day to celebrate their difference and continue to educate others.  

While some believe hand dominance may be genetic, Scientists are still not absolutely certain why one child is born left handed, while another right.  It’s interesting to note, however, that while a person is dominantly left handed, some have the ability to use their right hand just as well, albeit for different activities.  My left handed daughter catches ball with her right hand and even ties a bow right handed.

Being left handed is not a bad thing.  It’s another area of being the same but being different!  We are each unique and wonderfully made, even when we don’t fit all the ‘normal parameters’ set by social sectors.

To all ‘Lefties’ —- enjoy your day and celebrate!

#LeftHandednessDay #LeftHandedAndHappy #LeftHanded #RightHandedWorld #Genetics #NotWickedOrEvil #JustDifferent

Disability or Learning Difference

Words and labels.  Is it a disability or learning difference?  It’s all in perspective, yet it’s important for diagnosis, in order to receive aid if warranted.  Still, the ‘label’ isn’t necessarily what we want to hear in a discussion in the classroom or among our peers.  It seems much kinder to use the word ‘different’.  After all, we are none the same.   We are each unique and that’s just as it should be.  

Not only are we all different, we all learn differently.  Certainly there are categories in which we may fit, but even within the categories, each person, each child learns at his own pace, from whatever angle his mind sees the subject, and even dependent on what else his body is doing at the time!

Babies have a time line of ‘growing.’  Some babies will roll as early as four months, and by six months, can roll from side to side.  My grand daughter at eight months still does not roll.  That said, she sits up strong and steady, has seven teeth, kicks her feet to ‘swim’ in her floaty in the pool and has an amazing personality.  Her body has been very busy doing other things.  She will roll when she’s ready!

Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four and waited to read until he turned seven, but eventually caught up and then surpassed all expectations!  Children learn differently.  But this, in their peer group, puts them in a different category!  When a child doesn’t ‘adhere’ to the normal scale, they are often considered stupid, lazy or just incapable of learning!  None of that is true!  Their brains are just on a different timeline, or look at the world a little different.

Imagine a classroom where a student is sitting with earphones on to help him decipher the words in the book he’s reading.  He has dyslexia; a medical diagnosis which allots him the aid of audio books, legally.  It’s how he learns and it’s good!

Another student one room over, is writing feverishly to get all the steps down to the Math problems. She couldn’t skip steps. She’d always come up with the wrong answer, and the teacher always seemed to skip steps when she did practice problems on the board. It was so confusing, but the teacher just assumed everyone could get it; just see it; know that it’s what you’re supposed to do, and come up with the answer.

I could easily be that little girl.  Neither the math student described, nor I, have a medical diagnosis, but like the child in the classroom, Math had the ability to create great anxiety in me. I’d do all the practice problems, homework and study. Still on test day, I’d look at the pages of math problems before me and then at the clock. I couldn’t skip steps. It’d take me longer. A degree of paralyzing fear would grip me before I even started!

According to statistics one in five people in America struggle on some level with ‘natural  genetic wiring’ that makes it difficult to read, do math, organize material, connect ideas, stay focused, hear and understand verbal instruction, process specific sounds, or even have the ability to just sit still for any length of time.  

For each of us who struggle with any of these, or a hundred other emotional, social or academic battles, we are left feeling frustrated because we don’t ‘fit’ in the given social parameters of what is normal,  or in the time line the world expects. 

We all have different adaptive and coping skills.  It’s important to remember this about ourselves; and also our peers, no matter where we might see them, be it on the street, in a conference room, or in a classroom. 

Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/685602743275876274/ 

#differences #disability #SameYetDifferent #BrainsWorkDifferent #AdaptiveSkills #CopingSkills #NaturalGenticWiring

#SocialParameters #WordsAndLabels #Labels