Celebrate With A Christmas Card
Christmas is only a few days away. If you are like me there is still much to do with finishing up the shopping, wrapping, baking, decorating….and preparing Christmas cards—although I’ve made a sizable dent in the process! I have, for many years, sent over a hundred cards a season. I admit, I love receiving the pretty versed cards and consider them as much as gift as the gifts which are placed beneath the tree. I suppose that sounds a little peculiar, but there is something special about receiving a card….any time of the year!
Greeting cards seem to be one of my passions. I have a program on my computer and all year long I send birthday cards and “just because” cards. I can’t explain it, but it gives me pleasure to create and personalize each one. And, of course, at Christmas, while I buy many of the boxed cards—since I send so many, I still find myself often making personal ones for my children, their families and a few others.
The tradition of sending cards has been around a long time. It is said, the Ancient Chinese sent messages on New Year’s; and it is believed early Egyptians, using papyrus scrolls, also sent greetings to the special people in their life. In the early 1400’s, personally designed greeting card exchanges became fashionable in Europe, while woodcut greetings were created and shared in Germany. It wasn’t until 1856, however, when deluxe editions of Christmas cards became the rage. Since then, with some lulls in the process, the industry has emerged and morphed into card availability for all seasons and reasons!
I suppose I am a sentimentalist, but there is something rewarding about sending a card to someone who least expects it. I remember years ago, when a family I hardly knew, experienced an awful tragedy. I mourned for this family for weeks and finally, because I could no longer contain my own grief, sent them a card. It wasn’t anything particularly special, but it let them know I shared their sadness and offered nothing more than a “virtual” smile and hug. A week or so later, I also received a surprise card, which said nothing more than “Thank you….I needed that!” It’s interesting how that kind of thing happens, often when we need it most.
Christmas cards, however, are completely different. We are celebrating a great event. Everyone (well mostly) shares in the excitement and joy of the season. People invest hours searching for just the right gift, wrapping it and sometimes even decorating it. A great deal of time is spent decorating homes and just about anything else stationary, with lights and some will even ‘create’ an object (tree or reindeer) if necessary! Music plays and there is this general festive mood, which you can’t recreate any other time of year. When I sit down to choose just the right card, sign, address and stamp my Christmas cards to friends and family, it’s an extension of the feeling of joy I want everyone to share.
There are those who refuse to join in the tradition of cards, considering it unnecessary and time consuming. Yes, I admit, it is time consuming, but if you look at it as a gift, rather than drudgery, it becomes a labor of love. Love is what Christmas is, isn’t it? When we celebrate the Christ Child, we celebrate love. When we share the celebration in a card, we demonstrate that celebration of love.
I encourage you this season, as Christmas creeps ever closer, when you open the Christmas card from the sender, consider the time, energy ….and love, they are sending. As you send yours, sign each with a smile and a hug in your heart. It’s Christmas! Celebrate!
The Holiday Rush
Thanksgiving just passed and Christmas is on the way with lots of decorations and displays to dazzle us! I remember back in early Fall when the first Christmas decorations came out! Halloween hadn’t even happened yet and Christmas trees were up in some department stores! By the beginning of January, all Christmas tokens will be down and we will see Valentine’s displays and likely even a hint or two of Easter decorations. We’re “holidayed” out before the holiday even arrives!
Reasoning for this phenomenon centers around the economic upheaval we’ve all witnessed worldwide; but they also claim it allows shoppers the opportunity to begin placing desired items on lay away, which allows ample time to pay for the purchases.
I wonder, however, if we aren’t rushing our lives away, in nearly every way imaginable. We are so concerned about the next “event” we miss the now! We rush to work, often over the speed limit because we were running behind; do as much as possible in the workplace, as quickly as possible, until lunch time; eat a fast food lunch, rush home, and rush through the events of the evening, which often includes a trip to a child’s ballet recital, or sports practice, to finally drop into bed from sheer exhaustion; and then start the process all over again the next morning. (Granted this is altered a bit due to COVID-19 but my point remains the same!)
I chatted with an old acquaintance, who married an older man, who had a college age daughter. Several years after their marriage, she became pregnant. They were overjoyed and blessed with a baby girl. When the child was about a year old, the family was staggered by the death of the father from a massive heart attack. Love surrounded the mother and family as they struggled to regain some semblance of normalcy, despite the grief. A week after the funeral, the family had yet another surprise. The young woman was stunned to learn she was pregnant again. Panic eventually was exchanged for joy as she realized she was going to be blessed with another child; this time, she learned, a boy. As she and I chatted, she shared that while she was excited, she was also frightened.
What does she care about the next holiday? She has greater worries, as most of us do, yet we are inundated with decorations for the next holiday, regardless of how unimportant it may be. Her focus isn’t on New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, or St. Patrick’s Day which is still months away. It’s on how she is going to provide for her daughter and upcoming newborn. So why is the business world so intent on flooding our senses with a pounding of the next holiday? Aside from purely economic strategy, I can’t answer that one. Personally, waiting until two or three weeks out from a holiday is soon enough to begin the onslaught of decorations that signal the upcoming event.
What is more important, is making sure our family knows they are loved, regardless of how much money we spend on celebrating a holiday. I’ve learned the holiday will arrive whether we decorate or not. It is a day on the calendar that someone decided was important. There are those celebrations of our faith which we should and do recognize, like Christmas and Easter. Many of these in our cultural world, however, have lost their religious value and are replaced with only monetary worth. Perhaps if we reflected on the real reason for the celebration without all the glitz and glamour that has been added, we may find reason to cherish the holiday even more.
There’s No Place Like Home
Traveling for the past forty-seven years has been routine for our family. Our five children can say they have “been” to all forty-eight continuous states. (And a couple have been to other countries!) Now I will admit my youngest has very little memory of his journeys since he was so young, but it was what we did.
It seems when we go on a trip there is usually at least one thing that happens which throws a “kink” into an otherwise wonderful trip. My friend best described a situation that at the time was awful, but almost downright comical in hindsight! She’s on her way home, in the driver’s seat while her husband is temporarily the passenger. She needs to sneeze and realizes there are no tissues; she misses seeing a police officer, which her husband is quick to point out (I assume she might have been going too fast?), she’s stressing because the dog needs to go out, she misses the exit and then promptly dropped her phone in a puddle once she gets out of the car! And then has the sense of humor to say things went downhill from there! Needless to say she was delighted once they finally arrived in their driveway!
I know that feeling of finally reaching home; total relief, exhausted, excited, yet a little unnerved since you are never quite sure what the house is going to “look” like, whether it’s been “tended” to by family or neighbors! My friend said her house smelled like “dirty socks!” Mine…. Usually has an “earthy” smell. It’s like the kitchen sink hasn’t been used in six months and whatever was in the drain composted while I was away! (I’ve since discovered if I have my daughter dump some baking soda and salt in it a couple times a week and run some water, I can eliminate that problem!) Still, there are just little “odors” which attack my senses that are nonexistent when I’m home and taking care of things!
Still, when I place my weary bones on my own bed (since it is usually late when we arrive back), sleep is welcome relief. All else seems unimportant and can wait until morning, which seems to come all too quickly! Then it’s laundry and “house hunting” after the car is unloaded and everything is mostly just “put” in the house. Then there is the matter of mail; first sorting into piles of urgency, with bills that need to be paid promptly on top, and all else into his pile, hers, read further, junk (this is the largest pile) and then “everything else!”
When the moment arrives, about a week later, I am thrilled to finally have all the laundry done and put away, the floors swept and mopped, mail all taken care of and I can sit down and enjoy my “space,” I am indeed very glad to say, “there really is no place like home!
I challenge you this week to consider how very special your home really is. Everyone needs vacation; that time to get away from everyday issues and just relax—and even that can be stressful right now with the COVID ‘thing’. But the place you call your home is really your place of rest, peace, family, holidays, joy, children…..yes, even pain and grief. But it is what keeps you grounded; that sense of belonging; belonging to what is real. Connect with your “home” today, the people, the place, the feeling. Breathe deep, and enjoy!
Appearances Matter
I remember as a very young person staying with an aunt and uncle who every week went into town to do the necessary shopping at the grocery store, hardware store and any other place required, and to attain anything which would be needed for the coming week. What I found odd was how both my aunt and uncle changed from their daily clothes into their Sunday best! It was a day away from home and they, along with each child, looked prim and proper!
Many years later after I was married, most days I tried to look at least “decent” even if I had no plans to leave the house. Seldom did anyone visit, so one day I decided on a “dress down” day. I donned a pair of not so well fitting jeans and a brightly colored, oversized shirt. Of course, that was the day of unannounced company. I was mortified. It was that day, I decided it mattered not whether I would be home all day alone, go away; or did or did not have guests coming; I would look my best. Period!
What I have discovered over the years, is how I dress, often reflects how I feel. If I am dressed in what I consider a less than appealing outfit, then likely my mood will be less than appealing. When I am dressed casual, (which includes jeans and sneakers) I feel comfortable and pleasant, as long as the outfit fits well and is reasonably attractive. When I am dressed “nice” I find my mannerisms and behaviors will reflect the same.
The truth is, whether we like it or not, we are often judged by our appearance, even when we don’t realize it. When a person demonstrates the attitude and deliberateness it takes to dress nicely (not expensive over dressing, but comfortable and proper fitting) it projects an attitude of caring about themselves, and often about the person with whom they are interacting. This attitude carries over into the workplace.
According to an article by Aaron Gouveia, published in Forbes magazine March 2013, the way you dress can even affect your pay. The article suggests in a business setting, slender/thin people are likely to be paid more than heavier people and blondes are likely to be paid more than brunettes. Those who exercise regularly have an edge over those who do not and women who wear makeup also have an edge over those who choose to forego the makeup routine. Yet being too pretty for a female has drawbacks, but apparently, for her male counterpart, it’s an advantage to be considered handsome!
The article went on to explore the idea of not only dressing properly, but discussing how we “look”overall; and even suggested our table manners are scrutinized when we are in public.
How we “look” to others often falls into “conditioned” categories. A person who has large tattoos all over his arms and neck tend to make some wary. Motorcyclists have been known to raise an eyebrow or two, and an employer would probably re-think hiring someone who comes to an interview wearing chains and sporting knives in half his pockets!
Does this mean a tattooed person, motorcyclist or even the person wearing chains are bad people? Not at all; but we live in a society of stereotypes and often these kinds of visuals raise red flags. History suggests we should keep a careful distance from those we aren’t sure we trust.
Do you find yourself scrutinizing others, even if it’s only momentary when you enter a business? Can you tell who is a business person and who is not? Are you more likely to trust the mail man than an unknown vender who may knock on your door?
How we dress, look and behave makes a difference in how we interact with other people. We often project our personalities and values by our dress and attitude; and I would even suggest, how we dress will also affect our approach to life.
It’s Thanksgiving week and we are celebrating! It may not be in the normal way, with lots of friends and family around, but even if it’s only two of you, dress up, wear a smile, and do your best to be thankful, regardless of circumstances!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Know that I am thankful for YOU!
http://www.forbes.com/sites/tykiisel/2013/03/20/you-are-judged-by-your-appearance
A Positive Attitude
It was necessary for me to get blood work; so, arriving at the Lab, I took my number and had a seat. When I finally signed in, I was delighted to recognize the young man at the desk whom I’d seen before. Returning to my seat, I shared my pleasant discovery with my husband, “This guy is so good. I don’t mind him taking blood at all.”
When the tech called me back, I sat down and said, “I’m so glad you’re the one taking blood.”
“That sounds so good for my ego!” he said laughing. “I need a raise!” With that, he cleaned the area he was about to poke, pulled the skin tight, inserted the needle, and like before, painless.
I am amazed at the difference in pain level and discomfort when needing to have blood drawn, and the person drawing it, is less than efficient and careful! There have been times when the probing and poking have left me with an awful bruise!
Life is like that sometimes. We have a situation where the comfort level should be horrific, but because of those around us with positive attitudes, even the horrific is bearable; kind of like the water going over the Falls that is contained with the defined boundaries. The opposite of this happens when something which should amount to very little stress, becomes stressful, tedious, filled with undue pressure and anxiety, all because a person feels the need to complain, find fault, and over dramatize the situation, which is what the water would look like should that dam pictured, break.
Once when my husband had to have surgery in Baltimore, the thought of driving there and back terrified me, not to mention the state of my nerves because of the surgery. Some dear friends offered to not only drive, but stay with me the entire day. I was overwhelmed at their kindness. What could have been a day of pure torture, turned out to be much less stressful.
An example of the opposite of this situation might be when planning a family dinner, and have guests (family) who choose to do nothing more than find fault with every other family member, whether present or not. It can spoil what should have been great sharing of memories and excitement over possibilities, in the coming weeks and months. Instead of relaxing, those present, end up feeling defensive, stressed and even sometimes offended.
Our attitudes determine how we will respond to a person, conversation, idea, or even an object. While our emotions surface, often immediately, through body language or facial expression, our cognitive response is dependent on how or what we believe about the subject. Our specific attitude, often influenced from our experiences, observations and environment will then determine our behavior regarding the issue at hand.
Even when we have formed and held attitudes since our childhood, they can be changed through education. Sometimes lack of knowledge can be detrimental to attitudes, largely because we haven’t been able to see the whole picture, or from a cultural standpoint or even from geographical differences. Several examples of this includes the woman’s right to vote; equal opportunity for education or the work place; or even slavery and civil rights, an issue in the forefront of the news again. The attitude is often based on what has always been, or accepted, not necessarily on what is right!
Often attitude is a choice. I challenge you to look at your world today and choose to make it as pleasant as possible for strangers, those you hold dear and for yourself. Be positive! Be kind and pleasant. When you can do this, your heart will be a lot happier (not to mention the recipient’s heart!), and your response will show it!
Uncertain Times
There is so much going on in our country right now, especially in the political arena, and it’s downright scary. Some believe much of the issues revolve around racism, yet not everyone is racist!
There are those in neighborhoods who describe the same kinds of issues, that fanned the flames of the1968 riots, in cities around the nation. Are they right? It depends on perspective. Some blame police, other protesters and others, who don’t have a clue, are just along for the ride! It’s an election year and some even blame the President or other leaders! The truth is, we all need to look into our hearts and see how we feel, and then make a conscious effort to not play into this destructive mindset.
It’s sad, but interesting to note, history has a way of repeating itself. It seems we as humans, have the uncanny knack of forgetting what was before, and reliving those same problems and with as much intensity. It seems lessons just can’t be learned!
This isn’t just true for the negative side of life. Artists do much the same thing. This is especially clear in the Renaissance era. Following the Middle Ages and the Black Death which stole the lives of nearly half the population in Italy, was a time for “rebirth” or a “Renaissance.” The people began placing humans on life’s stage, who were filled with energy, new thoughts and values. This led them to consider what they believed to be the best art and literature available in history: the Greek and Roman period. From there they blended the old with the new that mutated into something unique, something special which created a new life that energizes people even today.
We’re no different, even on a day to day level. We move from season to season, blending what was with what is to be and make the most out of it. Our lives are fashioned around what we know and what it is yet to be learned. It becomes the vitality of the human spirit which drives us on to new beginnings and challenges, which are still being created. The lives we lead are not to be stagnant and dry, but exciting and exhilarating. There is a reformation and revolution within our mindsets which expounds on what we know and what we want to know.
We desire, as a people, to reach further, higher and deeper into places yet undiscovered by man. We want to understand what is going on around us, in us, through us and through others. We want to create something greater than what already is. This is what enables Scientists to keep digging deeper, architects to try new challenging designs, medical technologists to continue to carve out new methods of fighting disease, or even the parent who tries to frame their efforts around what they have learned, but with a slightly different perspective. It’s an effort to be better and we see it in all walks of life.
But we can’t help but look back and remember that which we thought we’d learned, and yet were deceived, by our very own human nature. Man is selfish, greedy, self-centered and much less than good. Our minds become so focused on self and what we want, we often block what “should be,” from what we have learned.
Sometimes I wonder when we became so immune to what we learned. Or does it mean we never really learned it at all?
Smart People
Have you ever noticed people seem to often be together in groups? In fact when you see someone alone, perhaps in a restaurant, or walking into a movie theater, you wonder why. We are creatures of “togetherness.” We like and feel comfortable in a group. Even animals do this.
Groups form for different reasons. Sometimes just because we don’t want to be alone, sometimes for safety, or it could be a business planning or work group; groups put together for presentations, or any number of reasons.
Smart people in high school annoyed me to no end when I had to work like crazy to get a good grade. I wasn’t a stupid student and certainly wasn’t at the bottom of my class, but I had to study most subjects with earnest to get the grade I desired.
In my ninth grade Geography class there was a boy who always seemed to beat me on a test. As the year progressed, it became a standing competition (we did become good friends) between he and I on who got the better score. Even the instructor would comment on who got the better score on a test as he passed them out, so the class also knew. (And just for clarification the instructor was amazing!) However, in my view, it seemed I worked much harder than my friend did to acquire the same grade.
What makes one student “smarter” than another? In college, I did really well in most of my classes, but I felt I was at an advantage in subjects like English, Literature, Communication or subjects requiring writing, given my interest in writing. Additionally, as an older student, and having “life experiences” I felt confident of my skills.
However, those classes requiring math, I struggled and fought “tooth and nail” to get through! I didn’t have the necessary math background from my high school days to understand it easily, even with constant, diligent studying. This left me in a “group” who asked many questions and far from being leader!
What I found interesting, however, was an article that suggested “smart groups of people” are largely comprised of women. I’m not even going to discuss whether the article is correct, but it led me to wonder what constitutes “smart groups.” In college I worked with teams of all females as well as, groups of mixed gender. I wouldn’t designate either group “smarter” than the other. I contend the mixed abilities and personality traits, no matter what the group, give it, its strength.
The person within the group who does not receive an A on every test, perhaps only getting a C in the class, can often offer more than the “intelligence” that smart people seem to have. It can be from his perspective someone else can make a dynamic discovery, comment, presentation or any number of things.
My point is being in a smart group isn’t the only way to be successful. It takes determination, clear thinking, thinking out of the box, common sense and perhaps even what some might call “side-ways thinking” to get the most out of a group think tank! The different abilities often have a way of creating cohesion and satisfaction in a group because of the motivation of all the parties, not just some.
Now that said, if motivation isn’t equal among the participants in any group, the results will be less than satisfactory. I had several such occasions in college. There was one young woman with whom I shared several classes. It seemed we were “paired” more times than I care to admit! She was highly intelligent, but she and I had strong opposition in some areas, including “the dark side” which she wanted to use for presentations She seemed to enjoy sharing her ability and GPA with students she felt inferior to her. I found her superior attitude and condescending behavior frustrating, since it often created some of the other participants in the group to be less than enthusiastic, with her intimidating comments.
So I challenge you to consider all the participants in whatever group you find yourself, whether it be in a business setting, college, church, youth group or any other kind you can think of. Each person is unique and brings irreplaceable and special qualities to the group and strengthens it as a whole, and that’s what really makes a ‘good group’ work!
That Element Of Surprise
I heard the most unusual comment recently, “My sixteen year-old daughter is afraid of butterflies.” I will admit, I have never heard of anyone afraid of them, yet I remember once when there was eight or ten in a single place many years back, and I was a little apprehensive about reaching in to disturb them. Perhaps it was the idea they started out as worms (well, caterpillars)? I don’t know, and it was a fleeting feeling, although I did leave them alone and was happy just to watch them feed on whatever it was they were eating! Yet to have one light on my finger would be amazing, kind of like having a hummingbird stopping long enough to sit on my hand! It would be a once in a lifetime thrill!
Now all that said, I saw a “You tube” clip a friend posted with this note: “Not really a snake fan, but I must admit there is fascination in watching their slow rippling movements.” The comments that followed, left me leery enough of what I’d see, that I did not click on it. “Good one, Got me!!” “Me too….spilled my coffee.” “Now that’s funny stuff, right there!” and “Action too fast for my slow thought system….but I don’t like snakes, spiders or weird stuff!” My husband assures me, given my opinion of snakes, I made the right choice to avoid the video!
This followed up by the post of another friend who tells about a snake that came up behind him while he was working. He said, “I screamed bloody murder and jumped up on top of the stump grinder. Once I got my composure back, I beat the tar out of it with a rake....I hate to be snuck up on!!” Again, the comments that followed, confirmed people don’t like the feeling of a snake slithering up on them unaware.
I can tell you snakes completely upset me! No other way to put it, I am afraid of them! I have gotten past “the only good snake is a dead one,” since I know black snakes kill rattlers. Still the sight of one, makes my skin crawl. With Fall officially upon us, I’m relieved I can again exist in the ‘no snake zone!’
But surprises can come in other ways that not only startle us, like snakes (or butterflies), but also frighten us. ‘Things’ in life, that in some ways are as bad as ‘snakes’ that just makes your hair curl and possibly make you react badly, like change, rejection or uncertainty. Or perhaps flying or even a crowded room.
How do you face your fears? Are you patient and just hope it ‘goes away?’ Do you become desensitized, or do you face it head on and try to work it out? Do you rate your fears from butterflies to snakes or use another method?
I read an article that encourages exposure to the ‘feared object’ in small increments. That’s all well and good for those literal ‘things’ like snakes and spiders. But how do you react to divorce, a car accident that takes the life of a loved one, or a hurricane or fire that wipes out everything you own?
Life tends to be a series of challenges, and often times, it surprises us. It’s great when we are surprised by good things, but when we are surprised with situations that make us fearful, it can be hard to deal with, and cause even the calmest person to, at least momentarily, lose their composure.
A Different Success Story
I have a friend who left a successful corporate job to move to the mountains in an effort to change his lifestyle from busy and stressful to slower and more relaxing. It meant walking away from a well paying job with plenty of funds, to making ends meet and being content with less. Less he observed, was actually more. He and his wife had more time to enjoy each other, their children, the outdoors and the simple things in life.
It seems our world is generally divided into two groups: the first and most influential are those who choose to surge forward, working day and night to make his fortune, often highly motivated by greed and the desire to have more than his nearest neighbor or farthest family member. Those with this kind of high ambition have difficulty focusing on anything but making a fast dollar and the more the better, getting as much as he can, as quickly as possible, especially since ambition is also often equated with power and gives the person a sense of authority over those around him.
The other group tends to be those who have a genuine “stick-it-to-iv-ness” with the genuine desire to make ends meet, hopefully have a little saved for the future, but revel in the blessings of his life. It is the person who willingly goes to work day after day, but welcomes his evenings and weekends to spend with his family with the desire to do nothing more than appreciate what they have without putting material things in the forefront.
The corporate world is doing it’s best to win, at least on the surface. So many people, both men and women, spend their days, at the risk of relationships with their spouse and children, working to get ahead. Our society seems to demand it, with media influence inferring we are only successful if we have the material goods and high paying job to prove it. Our children are often so set on designer jeans, shoes and coats, that anything less is embarrassing. Every member of the family must have a cell phone with a data package, allowing for easy access to internet for social connection to friends on a moment’s notice and a gaming package for entertainment.
Conversation between parents and children has become terse and strained. Relationships between siblings are often nearly non-existent! Instead the need to be in an equal status with peers and a need for constant amusement has become the norm. The sad thing is, however, the cost of this separation and lack of relationship, is leading to more and more problems with depression and substance abuse, as teens turn elsewhere to fill the void and fit in. But it doesn’t only affect our children. Families are deteriorating at every turn, as statistics show up to four generations in a single family can be defined by divorce.
Leadership and integrity from our parents in the corporate sector threaten to be a thing of the past, unless leadership means they fight and claw to give their family the greatest amount of material goods possible. The need for relationships within the family framework is not only desired, but desperately needed, if we are going to reign in this broken family network.
I believe my friend had the right idea. Walking away from a well-to-do society, I am sure would be very difficult if it is what a person is used to, especially to set out to find a life of simplicity. Finding a life within our families, however, can be the greatest reward, even if we don’t have the grandest house on the block, go out to eat three out of four nights a week, wear designer clothes, drive the sleekest or fastest car, or have all the latest technological gadgets.
Our family is an amazing gift which is often overlooked as wealth. I suggest this week, you step back from your success story and attempt to forge a new and stronger bond with what is really important: those you hold dear; your family and loved ones.
Life In Water Color
Art in any form intrigues me. An “artist” I’m not, so to see someone put beautiful images on paper which capture the essence of expression, the beauty of nature or anything like that, is amazing!
There are a lot of reasons artists choose the medium they use, but recently an artist I know said, “I love using water colors! It gives me the ability to express emotion and change lines and background without looking like a photograph!” His ability with oil painting is phenomenal, and often does look like a photograph when completed. It never occurred to me an artist would want less than a “perfect” piece! But I guess it depends on the definition of perfection!
Life is a little like that! We work really hard to make the right choices, choose the right friends, attend the nicest school, have the best job or career, wear the ideal clothes and on and on! We often want to present the “very best” of who we are, or at least ‘who’ we want others to see!
When we do this, sometimes we layer and layer our efforts of “perfection,” and we become “heavy and opaque,” so no real light can come through. We hide who we are and become flat, without any genuine quality, rather than letting our true light or true selves shine through.
Like painting in water colors, a very important aspect of getting the “picture right,” is to have confidence in how the medium is approached. When the attitude is weak and indecisive, the result is vulnerability. Again the same can be said of life. When we move through life unsure of ourselves, or decisions, who we are, what we want to do, or where we are going, the end result is uncertainty, and can often lead us down a path we never intended. We end up being a follower instead of a leader. We choose to allow others to make our decisions for us, even if we know the choice is a bad one, rather than taking a stand.
We have the capability of living our lives with energy and boldness, vitality and purpose, strength and power in harmony with the world around us. Or we can choose to layer the depth of who we are through a façade of all these qualities and miss the joy of who we were created to be.
Sometimes it takes great courage to be confident enough to step out of our comfort zone and away from the expectations of others. We become entrapped in what we believe people want from us and who people think we are. After careful consideration, advice from knowledgeable people around us, taking the first step into some other “realm” of being, is exhilarating!
When we allow who we really are shine through, --and when we approve and like it—others will see the change we’ve made as positive, even if they didn’t immediately think it wise, because they just couldn’t see us any different than they always had!
I challenge you to take a good look at yourself, your circumstances, personality, desires, capabilities and if you are ready to improve who you are, move into a different direction, make a career change, by starting college to advance your career, take classes to revitalize an “art interest” or otherwise grow, then consider it. After careful research (if necessary), step out! Become the successful (and genuine?) person you were created to be!
Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/illustrations/feathers-bird-animal-art-abstract-2561511/
Worth A Thousand Words
Seeing a person take pen and ink, charcoal, or chalk or any other variety of art supplies and create a piece of art, for me, is amazing. My grandfather was an artist, and given his simplistic Amish background, I am doubly amazed at his imagination and ability to put his musings onto paper. It’s interesting, I don’t consider myself at all artistic, since my ability is putting words onto paper, and doesn’t seem nearly as impressionable as a picture. It is said, “a picture is worth a thousand words.”
Do you believe that? Have you ever looked at a picture and then try to describe what you see within the frame?
I took a class in college where we were expected to know over one hundred pieces of art, the creator and location of the pieces. It involved sculptures and ornate buildings across the world. I found myself studying intently for hours, considering I didn’t have any background on the matter, and still I didn’t do as well as I’d have liked.
I’ve found while that kind of knowledge is useful, I find the best way to remember something about a picture or painting is to have a passion about what I’m seeing. In my college class, after we visited a museum, we had to pick a piece and write on it. The painting I chose was actually one from a sequence of paintings by Thomas Cole: “The Voyage of Life: Old Age.” The painting depicted the journey of life filled with surprises, pain, and issues that leave us “rough around the edges.” There are jagged rocks and rough waters to upset our “boat” leaving us beleaguered and battered. Yet, despite all we endure, there is hope of eternal life for those who believe.
In addition to a “life journey” it also personifies our young, ambitious country at that time in history. The United States according to John L. Sullivan on “Manifest Destiny, 1839” wrote: “…we are the nation of progress, of individual freedom, of universal enfranchisement.” His views shared by many, were that the new Americans were “God’s Chosen People,” destined to establish a New Israel. This became a central theme as politicians moved Native Americans off their land and colonists moved further and further west, to the promise of wide open spaces and the divine right to a transcontinental nation.
This tells me artwork, like beauty or any other perceived idea, is in the eyes of the beholder. While I understand this painting in this way, and the artist is said to have strong feelings about Manifest Destiny, ultimately it’s what we bring to the painting that determines our own feelings and perceptions. If we come to a drawing with anger and cynicism, then our perception is likely to be different than had we come with optimism and hope.
Art is around us in so many forms. We need, however to be open to see it. Not everyone even agrees with what art is. Modern art is often scorned by a traditionalist, while the progressive can’t understand why we aren’t moving into the next century! A child’s artwork is valued as a treasure by a parent or grandparent, but mocked by someone who has no connection to it, as being just “some silly child’s drawing.”
How do you perceive art? Is your taste broad and visionary, or narrow and traditional? Do you love some art and hate others? Are there artists you love, but others you loathe? Is art nothing more than a feeling, for the person seeing it? Why is a picture said to be “worth a thousand words?”
Nice!
A friend commented once, “It’s 24 degrees out this morning. It feels almost balmy. Last night coming home, it was 12 and as I was fumbling with the levers on the steering wheel looking for the high beams, I accidentally hit the window wash. It froze instantly! Nice!”
I love my friend’s description of what happened, and even understand the “nice” at the end. Of course she wasn’t in the least excited about what had just happened. In fact, she was completely annoyed, and rightly so, given the circumstances. Have you ever thought about the English language? In a word, it’s complex! In two words, very complex! I heard once that English might be the most difficult language to learn, because of how differently we use words.
Words seem to travel. They travel from country to country, are added and subtracted to, combined with other words, and even created. Other times they kind of mutate into words from their original meaning into something completely different. Tim McGraw, in his country music hit years ago, “Remember When?” kind of brought that to the forefront.
Tim McGraw focused on words like coke, crack and hoe, among others. If you used the word “coke” in a sentence fifty years ago it would have meant a sugary, sweet drink and only a drink. In today’s vocabulary it can still mean the syrupy, sweet drink many people still enjoy, but it also is a name for a horrible, debilitating, illegal drug.
According to the dictionary, the word nice means to be agreeable, pleasant; and some would even say kind. In the thirteenth century the word nice actually meant a foolish or simple person! In the early 1600’s it meant behavior that encouraged wantonness; and by the late 1600’s it had changed yet again to mean a wicked person! It continued to change and in different time periods meant extravagant, elegant, strange, modest, thin and for a time, even shy!
Other words that have morphed over time includes: awful once meant deserving awe. To be ‘brave’ was to be cowardly (like “bravado”); ‘girl’ meant a young person of either sex; ‘guess’ meant to take aim; ‘nuisance’ was to bring injury or harm; and ‘quick’ meant to be alive!
So words change. I guess you could say, “So what?” And maybe it is a small thing, but for a moment think of words like frosty, or revenge or brunch. Perhaps in fifty years or so, words common to us now, may mean something completely different.
There isn’t really anything wrong with this. Everything changes. I have to admit, however, to see how much words can change just really drives home how nothing ever stays the same. We are born, are school children, teenagers and then adults. Our children look at us as though we’ve lost our minds when we reminisce on the past. A song brings back a memory, a picture brings remembrances of a different hair style, or clothes fashion, or a word— that meant something totally different in an era, now long gone. It seems every generation is unique; and that’s as it should be….so long as we don’t forget our past or disrespect it.
Happier Days
One morning my young son many years ago looked at me and asked, “When can I go back to 1987?”
Startled by his question, I wasn’t immediately sure how to answer. “You can’t,” I finally said. “You can never go back. Time only moves forward.”
How often have you heard someone say, “If I could be sixteen again,” or “If I could re-live my life again, knowing then what I know now,” or “If I could just change some of the choices I’ve made in my life?”
Little children can’t wait until they are teenagers. Young teens want to be old enough to drive, then be eighteen, followed by twenty-one. The “hurry up” process usually stalls when a person reaches about thirty, wanting time to slow while fighting the aging process, until they can feel retirement close at hand.
The show “Happy Days” was a hit years ago because those who remembered, considered those days “happier days” than the 70’s or 80’s and even now as we watch the re-runs on TV. “Time” looking back, always seems simpler. Yet even the 1950’s had problems. It was not an ideal time, despite how we remember it! Memory has a way of “making fuzzy” those things which were unpleasant.
What makes us unhappy with where we are in our lives? Why do we wish for another time period than which we are in? We dream of what it might be like to be older or younger, rather than content with our current age. Surely when we do this, we miss the beauty of the time in which we find ourselves.
Garth Brooks sang a song called “The Dance” that considers this dilemma. He says (paraphrased) “he’s glad he didn’t know how it all would end because if he’d known, he might have changed the plans. If he’d changed the plans, he’d have missed the dance.” The dance is life itself; the adventures, the trials, the tears, joys, love, everything life has to offer; good and bad. There are things in life over which we have no control. These events help mold us into who we are and what we believe.
Probably everyone, has made a bad choice or two. But from these mistakes, it enables us to help others who also make mistakes. The trials in our life, tempers our character and creates in us the ability to feel compassion and give comfort to those who need it. Do we enjoy trials? Most would answer with a resounding, “No!” Not many people enjoy pain or heartache. Yet when the grief is passed, we often can see how we’ve grown, even if it isn’t immediate.
When someone wistfully says, “If I were twenty years younger…” are they really serious? If given the opportunity, would they really trade the life they lived, for a chance to do it again; and would they want to do it with another?
Another song, from years ago, called “I’d Choose You Again” hopefully is the way you feel about the person you chose to spend your life with. This song simply told the love story of a woman who would choose her same mate again if she had the chance; even though after all that time, she knew him better, faults and all. Contentment comes with acceptance of the way things are. Contentment brings happiness. Happiness brings hope for a life that is filled with love and joy.
Would you go back to your childhood, to your teen years; or your twenties? Do you wish for time to pass to the time of retirement? We’re probably all guilty of this to some degree. But if we were honest, aside from the true desire of thinking we might have made better choices from time to time, the life we are living, in our current time period, has the potential to be the most delightful time of our life. I challenge you to make it so.
Photo credit: https://www.shutterstock.com/search/1957+chevy
Start On The Next One
I’ve been writing for years. I’ve had much devotional material printed, children’s stories, even non-fiction in Ranger Rick, and church curriculum for children and even books. I love the process and found payment was a bonus!
When I finally had my first book published in 2010 (those before were puzzle books) I was elated. I had worked for years on the project and was pleased and relieved the project was finished. I used social networks, had a countdown on face book, sent out little cards and planned book signings. Then there was the release date. I watched online, as the sites that carried the book, posted availability and was delighted it was doing well.
I had one friend however, who kept asking a question I couldn’t answer and wasn’t sure I wanted to! “How’s it doing?” he would ask. “How many have you sold? What are your royalties?” And many other questions along the same vein. I was absolutely interested, don’t misunderstand, but that isn’t why I wrote the book!
Another author shares his story about his efforts of writing a book over a year period, had it published and then nothing happened. His mentor didn’t even seem particularly excited. In fact, his reaction was simply, “Get started on your next one, tomorrow!”
I like his perspective. Sometimes we focus on the revenue, fame, and great reviews, and lose sight of what is important! Every project on which we work must have value, but it’s the next one that drives us on. This isn’t just true for writers; it’s true for any kind of work. It doesn’t matter if you are a bricklayer, Minister or Congressman, or anything in between. The drive to accomplish something positive is the fundamental motivation to keep us to the task.
When we lose the interest or passion for what we are doing, we lose productivity. It takes this ultimate mindset to move forward. Sometimes we lose sight of our goals; life events changing over which we have no control; being asked to compromise our ethics; growing older and retirement or any variety of circumstances that drag us away from what we once thought important.
As our lives change, sometimes our perspective must also change. We have to remember the reason we took the path we chose and then decide if it’s still the right path. If it isn’t and we find ourselves dreading the challenge of the day before us as a chore, then maybe it’s time to take stock. Maybe it’s time to “get started on the next one!”
Nothing stays the same in our world; and today’s world seems even more formidable given the COVID issues, the upcoming election and political arena, climate changes, financial woes and more! Changes occur in our lives sometimes so fast we miss them. I suggest taking a breath and asking yourself some very serious questions. Are you where you want to be? Are your goals still attainable, have you reached them and need to make new ones, or are you needing something completely different?
Once you decide where you want to be, whether it is right where you are or with something new, approach it with excitement, with interest and a passion which fulfills your day. This attitude will aid in making the work you do worthwhile and gives you a reason to continue being productive. Go ahead! Get started on the next one, whether it’s another manuscript, another day at the office, applying mortar to a brick or anything in between!
The Rise And Fall of Civilizations
Over the years our family has traveled across the country. I’m amused at times at how very different geographically defining our culture is. In my area of this vast planet we have a lot of watermen, which has created a distinctive dialect, much like you might find down in the bayous of Louisiana. There are word differences, varying social habits, diverse music, arts and folklore traditions and food distinctions that set areas apart. Add to this, unique accents and we have quite the mix of cultures. People sometimes can actually tell where you are from by the accent you use, or words you say.
Areas in the North ask if they can put your items in a “sack.” Where I come from it’s called a “bag,” and a pop is offered rather than a soda. In another part of the country a grandmother is often known as “Mom Mom” and grandfather as “Pop Pop,” while other areas are Grandma and Grandpa, Mimi and Poppa. Aunt and Uncle are used for respect when talking about close friends and children, or the term “Miss or Mr.” is placed in front of a woman or man’s name.
Some years ago a friend of ours passed away and I made the phone call to another friend down south who had worked with my friend years before. Her husband answered the phone, so I made the polite request, “Could I speak with Miss Janie, please?” I heard the husband as he handed his wife the phone say, “I don’t know who it is, but she called you Miss Janie. It must be someone from Maryland!”
Many cultures have come together in a blend, unique to the area, which creates its peculiar culture. None is better or worse than the other, they just are. It’s what makes our country so interesting! When there is a rich mix of different cultures there is so much to share; so much to learn! The Europeans learned much from the Native Americans. As other cultures blended with these from all over the world, we are enriched as we are influenced by each other’s traditions.
If we have so much to offer each other, why do civilizations rise and then fall? The Mayan culture was rich, yet it went into decline and fell. The Roman empire held great importance, yet it too, failed and fell. It is said civilizations grow and then decline, some more rapidly than others. Sometimes war, drought, economic failure, epidemics, natural disasters, or any combination of these could be the beginning…..of the end for an empire. Sometimes political issues can cause a country to lose its greatness to the point of being regarded with disgust rather than pride.
What about the American empire? We are rich is music, art, cuisine, traditions which have blended together to make a great country. One thing is certain: given the current state of affairs, our world is dramatically changing! Will we also fall? Do you see our country as in decline or moving forward? Are we proud of what our culture stands for? Do those areas where we are rich, negate where we fall short? Are we headed as a country, or people, for collapse?
Adapting To Change
It seems on every turn there is some kind of natural disaster. There are fires, tornados, floods, typhoons, volcanoes, snowstorms, hurricanes and dust storms! (We just endured Hurricane/Tropical Storm Isaishs, here on the East Coast.) People from all walks of life must adapt to their surroundings or allow nature to destroy them. Some people make the choice of relocating after a particular storm destroys their home, while others choose to rebuild deciding “Mother Nature” will not win or drive them away from the place they love or grew up.
Jack London in the story “To Build A Fire,” depicts nature as dangerous and impersonal. Nature is neither beneficial nor vindictive and not even selective to whom the next victims of it’s wrath will be. Those who are not strong, lack natural common sense, or survival or adaptability skills, are those who fail. His story also demonstrates the frailty of life, and the paradox of learning lessons too late, when we miscalculate our instinct or intelligence.
While London’s story was about surviving in nature, it’s also true in relationships. We all have flaws in our character since we are human. These flaws lead us, when we are not prepared, to defeat, in a variety of circumstances, when we allow it.
Our marriages, friendships or even work environment, in order to be successful, take an enormous amount of strength and “stick-it-to-it-ive-ness!” When we choose to not use our common sense or adapt to, and work for, success, we risk failure and even a kind of death. It often takes compromise to make everyone happy. Yet sometimes, even at the risk of death of a relationship, adaptability is not an option, if we are asked to compromise our principles.
When reading the news every day, a person can easily see our world is changing. Depending on perspective, some would say we are advancing while others say we’re being destroyed. Regardless of your view, it’s changing. We now wear masks, are required to stay isolated, unable to gather in many churches for worship, and the list goes on and on, while the political arena is ever changing and the media continually curbs information often so badly, it’s impossible to know truth from fiction.
Our lives are also ever changing. Nothing stays the same. We grow, inherit new ideas, and then form new ones. The result is a new way of doing things. This can be easily illustrated through companies who failed to adapt and adopt new ideas in communication and technology.
One such company, and there are many, is Kodak. This company led the way in photography for years in cameras, film and other picture taking accessories. But when digital communications evolved, Kodak did not choose to incorporate the new ideas into their business. This isn’t to say they weren’t aware of the changes, some even would say they “invented” it. But they were so deep into printing and film making, the ‘powers that be’ felt the incentive wasn’t high enough to push “digital” into the forefront of consumers. They ended in bankruptcy in 2012. Other companies, however, saw the potential and ran with it. Companies like Atari, Xerox, IBM and Blockbuster share similar stories.
When considering human nature and the desire to move forward, yet not wanting to lose traditions; change can be difficult. Life changes in minute ways, and in ‘grand’ ways every day. As our bodies and minds grow and change; the world around us also grows, changes and dies and is reborn! It’s a continual cycle. To survive the changes, we must adapt, even if only microscopically! We have to accept our minds are producing wonderful new thoughts that have the potential to create wonderful new things.
Yet in all things, we must be prepared for those “disasters” in our lives which threaten to overwhelm or destroy us. We must be ready to use our common sense, intellect and natural instincts to get the most out of life and be successful.
How do you feel about adapting to change? Does it come easy, or is it a challenge?
Let’s Make a Trade
There are headlines all around us, warning of an impending economic meltdown! They urge us to “stock pile” food, first and foremost. But as research continues, there are also other items necessary to survival should a disaster occur; and this doesn’t just mean a financial catastrophe, but a tornado, hurricane, earthquake or other type of devastating event.
Of course, we can each go out and buy what we think we will need in the event of an emergency, but everyone has their individual preferences. What do you do if, when the time arrives, you don’t have an item you’d really like to have, or even need? From the early days of settling here, people have used bartering as an option.
Even before settlement began here in the States, it’s safe to say, bartering has been around for centuries; long before cash tendering (or credit cards) were used for everyday purchases. That said, there are historians who will tell you bartering wasn’t used “before” money, but evolved because there were times when people had no money, but still needed goods and services.
In fact, there is a very broad stance taken on this issue, including the idea that currency was created to manipulate people, given the easy manifestation of monetary debt. I’ll let the “historians” fight that one out, but can tell you, from my perspective, bartering is a wonderful system, once there is a “community” which is fairly “like minded!”
The concept is simple. People trade for goods and services rather than tendering cash. If one family has an excess of a good or service, they can use it to “purchase via trade,” for an excess of goods of services from another family.
We have friends who are avid hunters, and are very successful in their attempts. This leaves them with a freezer full of wild game, which cannot all be consumed by one family in a single season. The option: barter---or sell it! Within the “community” however, it suits multiple parties when hard earned cash need not be used when other resources are available.
I love to bake bread, quilt, and am reasonably good in other areas that can be a resource, as well. I have a friend who raises chickens and has goat milk, neither of which I have. What a great resource to be able to trade—for eggs, goat milk and meat! Another friend in this same “community” is a technological whiz, something many people aren’t. His services are a great bartering tool.
This method of paying for goods and services might not suit every family. Sometimes it takes a bit of creativity to even realize an area for bartering, when a person considers themselves just an “average joe, with nothing to give.” That is usually far from the truth. We all excel at something and have something to offer.
While you may not need to ‘barter’ for any of your goods or services at the moment, what if you did? Is there a ‘community’ of people you would want to work with for something like this? What would they likely offer? Do you need to do some research, ‘just in case?’ If you aren’t sure what you could offer in such a circumstance, ask what others might need. In the conversation, you may be delighted, that you have just the perfect answer!
Time To Do What Matters
We’ve been traveling, so when we arrive back to our home, it’s all about unloading, unpacking and getting caught up again! This can be stressful, depending on how long we’ve been gone.
One of the first things I must do is catch up on the mail! While I’m able to keep up with the checkbook and important stuff, because our daughter takes care of the mail as it comes, I’m still required to go through, eliminate that which is no longer necessary, file, and then take care of those things which she is unable to, while we’re away.
Aside from this, there is general cleaning that must be done. Houses do not like being left un-attended! Again, our daughter keeps up with what must be done (she does have her own home and family to care for), but after everything comes in, you have to put it all away, and inevitably there are dust bunnies that have moved in with the occasional cobweb, etc!
What happens however, when a family doesn’t travel? They are in their home most of the time (and with this COVID mess, even more so), and still keeping up, can be problematic! Yet we are often reminded to use our time and talents to the best of our abilities.
How can we do that? Due to the COVID issue, our lives of helping our neighbors, non-profits, and other ways to pay it forward, have decreased. It’s frustrating! Even many our of workplaces have changed; we work from home. Almost everything, at some level, is done via the internet.
Another element of time and talent includes ‘treasure.’ Some people call this our reputation. It’s what we stand for and what we believe, and even how we live our lives. As we reflect on our past, we probably can recall people who have not only lived their lives in ways that influenced ours, but also were deliberate in providing guidance. Some may have helped us unaware; or at least to a point, unaware.
Can you recall a teacher, another person in a different profession, a relative, neighbor or even a stranger who influenced what you believe and how you live your life? Perhaps there was someone that specifically influenced you to follow your chosen career. They shared their ‘treasure’! Is there a way you could pay it forward to someone else?
Granted, given our current ‘isolation-ism,’ it may be a little more challenging, but perhaps you could be creative. Along with ‘mentoring’ someone else, what about thanking someone for their input in your life? Each of these might be initiated by a hand written note (much more thoughtful than just an email), or via a phone call.
Our world has changed. But giving should not change. We are a people who do best when ‘we can give away’ the best of what we’ve gotten! I’m not talking about material goods (although that’s not bad either when we have more than we need!), but giving of ourselves, in whatever way we can. We still need to be good neighbors, with kind hearts. Children still need to see this behavior, so they can grow into ‘giving adults.’ It’s the way we were designed!
Be bold! Reach out with your particular treasure—something you can give away – of yourself--- a smile, kind word, help in a garden, cut a lawn, cook a meal or dessert and leave it for someone who may not have enough. (You may need to make contact with a person if you are leaving food!) Be creative! Take time to do what matters! Impact someone else’s life this week!
When I Grow Up
They say, Out of the mouths of babes! and often it is so true. They have a way of saying the funniest, purest, most innocent words, which leave adults speechless. Their perspective is often just a bit “off kilter” and will occasionally even cause the adult to blush!
I seem to have collected several conversations from little people regarding the idea of “growing up.” One was where a father asks his two daughters what they want to be when they grow up. One immediately answers, “Doctor!” The second daughter says, “A magnet!”
Another conversation includes a situation where Momma was headed out to an elementary school to pick up her first-grade daughter. It was raining, and her four-year- old wanted to take an umbrella, but her momma said she didn’t need one, especially since she wouldn’t be leaving the car anyway. When they arrived at the school, her little daughter witnessing all the teachers outside with umbrellas piped up and said, “When I grow up I want to be a teacher.” And without pause added, “Cause then I can bring an umbrella!”
My oldest son was certain he wanted to work on a farm as a really young person, until he reached his adolescent years and decided he would go into the Marine Corps like his dad. The choice suited him well, and even now, within just moments of conversation, most everyone can tell where his heart is!
I have one daughter who chose nursing, another a business administration major, and yet another works as a receptionist in an office.
My youngest son was only three when he announced he wanted to be a minister. This intention was solid until as a young teenager, he decided he wanted to go into the military, specifically the Marine Corps as did his father and older brother; but as a Chaplain. However, when he learned he would have to go into the Navy, since the Marine Corps doesn’t specifically have their own Chaplains— and uses Navy Chaplains, —he immediately recanted! Knowing the rivalry between the two branches, he figured there would always be some kind of ribbing he’d have to take. Instead of becoming a Chaplain, his path led to computer tech and artist!
What causes us to choose our careers? I remember deciding I would be a teacher in ninth grade and then ended up marrying and having children! It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I decided I wanted to write! You may choose to laugh at me, but part of that dream really hit me when “The Walton’s” was a hit TV show back in the 70’s. I identified with “John Boy.”
When I was in elementary school and even middle school, I remember writing things down and trying to make it work. My skills were obviously not good enough to be identified by any teachers, although I do recall several teachers who did comment positively on my specific writing skills. I can’t help but wonder why it never occurred to me to try writing before I was middle age!
Did you know what you wanted to “be” as a young person? Instead of your “dream”, did circumstances dictate your life’s work? Have you made career changes late in life? Are you still saying “When I grow up I’m…..” Are you following your dream?
Moved To Tears
It doesn’t seem to take much to make me cry: a sad movie, a tender commercial, a good romance story, bad news from a friend or family member, a tragedy on the news, weddings or funerals. As my daughter, who also cries easily says, “God gave me really good tear ducts. I use them well!”
It seems odd, even to me, that on a moment’s notice, watching a thirty second commercial, I can be overwhelmed to tears. Music and even prayer, can also, arouse such intensity, I am overcome with emotion, and find myself crying. TV shows that involve children, especially in harms way, will cause tears that last long after the show is over. I can’t seem to get it out of my mind, and tears well up all over again!
Humans are said to be the only beings on earth who cry for emotional reasons. I read once if a person is moved to tears, then an emotion has been touched. If that is in a story, it means the author has done his job well! (I’d like to think one day the words I have penned would cause such emotion to the reader.)
There are reasons for tears, however. Have you ever noticed a tired baby cries? Studies have shown this same phenomenon applies to adults. The study suggests the reason we easily cry at a commercial is, we are tired. (I’m not sure about that one!)
Most men will quickly tell you, crying is for women. A lot of little boys are told “it’s sissy to cry” and many men believe crying is proof of weakness. I disagree. I believe rather than a display of weakness, it’s a demonstration of strength. Apparently, however, we women are built to cry more, because we have an extra X chromosome.
Additionally, we, as humans, live very complicated, busy lives. Stress factors in crying ability. When my stress level is high, I am quicker to cry than at other times. When I’m feeling overwhelmed in a negative kind of way, I seem to be more easily offended, even when it wasn’t meant that way, causing me to, again, cry.
I’ve heard people say, when dealing with an unpleasant experience, “Don’t you dare start crying, cause you’ll get me started again!” I’ve been there and that indeed happens. My daughter calls my little granddaughters, “sympathy criers.” When one is in trouble or hurting, the other one will cry with her. In fact, when my daughter took her six-month-old son in for scheduled shots, he received three and never even cried for the first two. He just looked at his momma, with a questioning look of, “Really?” His five-year-old sister on the other hand, who witnessed the infliction of needles, started crying as soon as she saw the evil instrument in the nurse’s hand.
Depression is yet another reason humans cry and rides with our emotions being on that higher level, mentioned earlier. When we are sad, and mood down, and sometimes even feeling numb, due to circumstances over which we have no control, we are filled with despair. Although temporary, crying seems to soothe the soul, even if it doesn’t solve the problem.
I am grateful for the “gift of tears.” It’s a genuine way to express feelings, even if we don’t always “feel in control” when it happens, as we express sadness, joy, tenderness or pain. One thing is certain; emotions have just been touched!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/25/why-youre-crying_n_5499558.html
Photo credit: https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/tissue-box?