That Element Of Surprise

            I heard the most unusual comment recently, “My sixteen year-old daughter is afraid of butterflies.”  I will admit, I have never heard of anyone afraid of them, yet I remember once when there was eight or ten in a single place many years back, and I was a little apprehensive about reaching in to disturb them.  Perhaps it was the idea they started out as worms (well, caterpillars)?  I don’t know, and it was a fleeting feeling, although I did leave them alone and was happy just to watch them feed on whatever it was they were eating!  Yet to have one light on my finger would be amazing, kind of like having a hummingbird stopping long enough to sit on my hand!  It would be a once in a lifetime thrill!

Now all that said, I saw a “You tube” clip a friend posted with this note: “Not really a snake fan, but I must admit there is fascination in watching their slow rippling movements.”  The comments that followed, left me leery enough of what I’d see, that I did not click on it.  “Good one, Got me!!”  “Me too….spilled my coffee.”  “Now that’s funny stuff, right there!”  and “Action too fast for my slow thought system….but I don’t like snakes, spiders or weird stuff!”  My husband assures me, given my opinion of snakes, I made the right choice to avoid the video!

            This followed up by the post of another friend who tells about a snake that came up behind him while he was working.  He said, “I screamed bloody murder and jumped up on top of the stump grinder. Once I got my composure back, I beat the tar out of it with a rake....I hate to be snuck up on!!”  Again, the comments that followed, confirmed people don’t like the feeling of a snake slithering up on them unaware.

            I can tell you snakes completely upset me!  No other way to put it, I am afraid of them!  I have gotten past “the only good snake is a dead one,” since I know black snakes kill rattlers.  Still the sight of one, makes my skin crawl.  With Fall officially upon us, I’m relieved I can again exist in the ‘no snake zone!’

            But surprises can come in other ways that not only startle us, like snakes (or butterflies), but also frighten us. ‘Things’ in life, that in some ways are as bad as ‘snakes’ that just makes your hair curl and possibly make you react badly, like change, rejection or uncertainty. Or perhaps flying or even a crowded room.    

            How do you face your fears?  Are you patient and just hope it ‘goes away?’ Do you become desensitized, or do you face it head on and try to work it out?  Do you rate your fears from butterflies to snakes or use another method?  

            I read an article that encourages exposure to the ‘feared object’ in small increments.  That’s all well and good for those literal ‘things’ like snakes and spiders.  But how do you react to divorce, a car accident that takes the life of a loved one, or a hurricane or fire that wipes out everything you own?

            Life tends to be a series of challenges, and often times, it surprises us.  It’s great when we are surprised by good things, but when we are surprised with situations that make us fearful, it can be hard to deal with, and cause even the calmest person to, at least momentarily, lose their composure.