River Of Unknowns
“I don’t get it,” my friend said. “It seems every time I get close to moving to another job, the rug seems snatched from under me.”
“I don’t want you to move,” I said. “I like you working here.”
“I know, but you know it’s what I’d really like to do,” my friend returned.
“Well, then you just need to step out with confidence and go for it.”
“I’m not good enough…..and I’m afraid.”
“Afraid is probably more accurate than not good enough. That “rug snatching” might be partly your own un-doing, even if you don’t mean it to happen,” my friend countered.
Fear can stop us in our tracks, and for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggest is the fear of letting go. Another friend I have talks about moving and has for years. Every time he and his wife get close, they change their mind and stay right where they are, even though they both agree they would much rather live somewhere else.
So what are we afraid of “letting go?” It seems our past, even if it’s unpleasant, has a way of conforming to a box we are completely used to. It’s our “normal,” our “comfort zone.” It is what we know and if we leave that box we are changing what always has been. Change comes hard for people. So many questions wrap around change. We become suffocated with the fear of “what ifs.” It keeps us from moving forward and stifles growth.
Along with wanting to stay safely in our comfort zones rises the “fear of failure monster.” It seems we harbor fears of falling flat on our face. We are certain, like my friend above, that if we finally get enough courage to move forward, we are going to fail. That too, raises many questions that feeds our fears. There are questions of the ramifications of failure. Where will that leave us? How will I face my peers, or how will I make ends meet financially? There are so many unknowns!
This “fear of failure monster” has a “sibling!” —- The “fear of success monster!” This “monster” raises questions much like the “failure monster” because change again is a factor. You can’t move forward without some kind of change. Change brings growth and takes us out of that comfort zone where we all seem to prefer to dwell.
Along with the success monster comes another “sibling.” The “fear of responsibility monster” looms, reminding us if we have success, then people are going to find our hidden talents. That brings on more responsibility and the irrational fear people will abuse us, take us for granted, or expect more than we are able to give. Then we would be unable to live up to people’s expectations.
It seems there is always some kind of ‘fear monster” we must overcome if we plan to grow, stretch our potential and move forward to new places and experiences. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Always do what you are afraid to do.” I tend to agree, even if it is hard. Even if we don’t have all the answers!
But what happens if we are suddenly thrust into the waters of a disability? Accidents happen, birth defects occur, and sometimes health events take us by surprise. The ‘fear monster’ isn’t just lurking in the background; he’s sitting on our front step!
We’ve been thrown into a situation which requires answers to our questions—-and sometimes there just aren’t any—except to give love and have an accepting heart. I’m not suggesting for one second that’s easy. It can be tough. It may take years to develop enough confidence in ourselves, others, or our world to make any forward progress. It even has the capacity to even shake our faith in God.
When it’s our child, regardless of the trial, we love our little person. We give it all we’ve got and still the ‘fear monster’ sits and stares at us, daring us to make a wrong move. But move forward we must.
So in this month of ‘love’ I encourage you to reflect on one thing you’ve always wanted to do and try to find a way to see it through. It might be asking for a promotion, or visiting a foreign country, becoming a missionary, or any other passion you’ve been hiding and suppressing for a very long time and allow yourself to grow and experience new things!
Or it might be just accepting the challenge before you, step up to the plate, fill your heart with all the love, faith and acceptance you can muster and hit the ball full force and go for the home run. Allow yourself time to heal, grow, and be happy!
#fear #fearMonster #disability #challenges #changes #lettingGo #faith #love #acceptance
Photo Credit: https://www.pexels.com/search/river/