My Child Is A Gift
She looked at her newborn son. He was perfect! Ten fingers, ten toes and the doctor said he was healthy. Except, as her heart pounded, he has a cleft palate. “Why did this have to happen to my precious baby boy?” she wondered. “It’s not fair. He’s going to have difficulties he doesn’t deserve. Difficulties I don’t deserve,” she thought ruefully.
Continuing to cuddle her newborn, the “rueful” feelings began to subside, as she realized this precious child, regardless of his “less than perfect face,” was still an incredible gift. “I have my faith to draw strength from,” she thought. “This baby is a gift to Joe and me, and I’m going to give him the best I can give him.”
As parents, we all check out our newborns to make sure all is well, right down to counting the fingers and toes! It’s natural, and it matters not how many babies we birth! We gaze with wonder, with an undeniable, unfathomable love that washes over us, for this brand new bundle of joy we carried for nine months. We already had a love we didn’t realize, long before we laid eyes on our precious child.
While cleft palate isn’t nearly so tragic as a child born without a limb or otherwise disabled, it still requires acclimation, because often we are unprepared to consider anything less than perfect, for the child we carried. It causes us to sit back, and take notice of a world less than ideal.
But there are solutions. Science has moved forward in astounding ways with knowledge and surgery that can ultimately correct most cleft palate situations by the time our children are in grade school. There are distinct inconveniences and struggles for our child, as it takes time to correct any problem, and cleft palate is no different.
Our young one is at risk of self-concept problems since their peers’ question why our child may have speech or hearing problems. There is, culturally, a stigma that says those children considered attractive are also more intelligent, which is certainly not the case. This idea can generate a level of anger, even if moderate, for our child, if others determine he does or does not fit the criteria of attractive. This can be very troublesome for our young one, since he already feels undermined by his own perceived lesser attractiveness.
Eventually, however, with the correct medical attention our child will increasingly become more and more comfortable in the social arena. Usually over time, when treated kindly, children will accept themselves and learn it’s their character qualities that really matter. While it’s true, girls have cleft palate less often than boys; girls may perhaps take longer to adjust to their differences. It’s imperative as parents, we re-assure our daughters (and sons) they are beautiful!
Life isn’t always fair. It has never promised to be. But we, through our faith, dogged determination and responsible characters are able to withstand what life throws us. Our children are priceless regardless of any perceived or actual, physical or intellectual, disability. We, as a culture make a “disability” something to hide, if possible. However, differences of any kind, when treated as a “difference” isn’t nearly as crushing.
Admittedly, it’s hard to think of a significant “difference” equal to a hair, or eye color dissimilarity. Sometimes the variances of ‘abilities’, involve strength of character and resolve we didn’t realize we had. But many parents will tell you, it is their child with all his differences that made the most positive transformations in their lives.
Choose to love regardless of your station in life, differences that seem overwhelming, or circumstances over which you have no control. We’re given one life. Make the most of every moment.
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Photo Credit: https://www.google.com/search?q=free+pictures+of+cleft+palate&client=safari&channel