It’s Okay To Be Different
I read a story recently about a young girl and her mother who were best friends and did everything together! They went to operas, loved shopping, crafting, and horseback riding. One day before one of their excursions, the mom told her husband and daughter she didn’t feel very good, but ignored her symptoms and they left. Later that day, her mother was in a hospital emergency room; the victim of a stroke.
The stroke created lasted changes in their life from a health stand point, and due to face paralysis, the mom was no longer able to smile. That was one of the things the girl loved about her mom. She always smiled. It didn’t seem to matter what was going on, the stress she was under, or problems she encountered at work, her smile remained.
The girl, in an attempt to support her mom, made the decision that she, too, would no longer smile. As time passed, she was taunted as being different and unfriendly because her smile was hidden. Her heart was breaking both for the world she was missing, but also for the relationship that was slipping away with her mom.
Her mom noticed her daughter’s lack of smiling, as well, and finally talked with her about it, although it was difficult since talking was still challenging. One afternoon she and her mom went for a walk and the mom went right to the heart of the problem. “If my stroke had taken my sight, would you cover yours so you would be unable to see?”
“That’s not fair,” the girl objected. “You can see. You just can’t smile.”
“I smile in my heart all the time,” she responded. “Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.”
The mother’s response to her daughter’s feelings were spot on. There are those with disabilities of all kinds who are misunderstood. While the mom was able to talk with her daughter one on one, very often that isn’t possible, unless of course, there is reason to interact.
Family members and even close friends who know the person with a disability accepts the person without undue tensions. Very often, research is done on the problem, within the “circle” because parents need to understand the problem, as do siblings and other family members. Because of a community that is involved with the family, they too, may understand the particulars about why a person is in a wheelchair, talks differently, has learning disabilities, uses crutches or countless other perceived “peculiarities.”
But the child who passes another child with a disability at the mall or in another public place is often completely unprepared for what he sees. This happens because he does not understand what he is seeing. Parents very often can’t explain in passing, what the problem might be, so the child is left feeling the child is “stupid, retarded, weird” or a hundred other unkind adjectives, while the parents admonish the child to “stop staring!”
Being educated is very important. Classrooms are integrating students with special needs more and more, every year. Still, often a child is left with the question, “What is wrong with my friend?” I encourage you to learn about disabilities and by all means, when you can, educate your children. It’s a great way to teach acceptance and understand from those who are different!
Photo Credit: https://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/being-different.html