Lessons Learned
I read a story recently about a girl who grew up in a financially privileged family setting. Her mother had medical issues, however, and the family wasn’t close. She recalls her brothers as mean; and without the warmth of her mother, due to her illness, she felt horribly alone. She has no “warm, fuzzy” memories spent with her family, whether it be out in the yard playing, cooking in the kitchen, or gathered around the Christmas tree. This dysfunctional setting played havoc with what most consider “normal” and left her without a sense of “self.”
Situations like this creates the necessity of learning life’s lessons, often the hard way! Sometimes it seems like it would make life so much easier if we could learn some of these lessons and gain wisdom, without having to endure them ourselves! People are often unaware of what another goes through; and others ‘within their circle’ sometimes seem to forget others are worthy of kindness and that sometimes the lessons they are learning may be just as difficult or even more so, that what the average person experiences.
It’s interesting, to know however, even when we have the opportunity to observe lessons experienced through others, we still find ourselves slaves to the master of “learning lessons the hard way!” So why can’t we realize that our choices made today, will have a direct affect on all of our tomorrows? It comes down to making right decisions with the right attitude.
As we consider this, imagine the difficulties a disabled person endures. Due to a culture who often leaves them in the ‘forgotten people group’ they encounter taunting, ridicule and a degree of meanness many of us can only imagine. These brave individuals have much to teach us about acceptance and ‘pushing through the hard times.’ Are we willing to notice or listen?
There are some things we can do that will help along the way for those experiencing tough times, and those who are bouncing through life without any apparent opposition, difficulties or boundaries. We all know everyone has some kind of opposition, and experience difficulty—even as we hide it from those we don’t want to ‘disappoint’. And while boundaries are our guidelines, there are those who choose to cross the lines, just to see what happens. In these cases lessons can be learned all around!
Studies show smiling has a way of easing most tensions, even in bad situations, when we allow it. It’s helpful to remember that if the person you are having coffee with is sharing details about someone else’s life (especially in a negative fashion), it’s likely they will be sharing your details with whomever they have coffee with next! And happiness is only attained when we give of ourselves, while thinking of others.
Failing happens only when we quit, so don’t quit! Life is going to hand us all kinds of situations. It’s how we handle these situations that molds us into the person we are to become. Truth has a way of exposing who we are and that truth will reveal our true character.
The girl who had such a dysfunctional life isn’t so different than most of us. She faced her reality head on as a young adult. She was able to identify the source of her “loneliness” and found a healthy way to grow into a productive adult.
Reflect on your childhood and life as a young adult. Do you identify with the young woman, at least on some level? I know I did. My childhood wouldn’t be described quite like hers, but it wasn’t “warm and fuzzy” either. Was it necessary for you to learn wisdom, “the hard way” or were you able to focus your energies positively, without some really “hard knocks” that could have left you permanently damaged? Share with us your source or method used to put you on the right path.
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