Having A Bad Day
I over heard the conversation of two women recently, that really caused me pause.
“It’s been a bad day,” one woman said, downcast.
“Why?” another asked.
“My daughter had to have emergency surgery today, my son is in a dark mood and, frankly, sometimes he scares me. I just heard my uncle passed away yesterday and my husband has a bad cold and that makes him extra grouchy!”
“Shew! You’re right! That absolutely sounds like a bad day,” the first agreed. “We all have those sometimes,” she continued reflectively. “I had a friend recently who was in a car accident and is now paralyzed from the waist down. They don’t believe she will ever walk again. She has a four-year-old and a set of two-year-old twins. I get it!”
It seems ‘bad days’ come at the worst possible time, causing a body to barely be able to breathe with all the emotions that ripples through your being, while trying to digest it all!
Often bad days have more to do with how we are able to navigate all the circumstances, information and emotions the bad events creates. The emotions the first woman had were genuinely, emotionally stressful. And everyone knows what stress does to a body. She just wanted someone to know her ‘heart’ hurt and vent a little bit; while not expecting anything except a listening ear. I suspect we’ve all been there before.
The counter story of being permanently disabled after an accident, must have shaken the first lady because she had nothing else to offer to the conversation. She just looked away, deep into her own thoughts.
I again, suspect we’ve all done that, as well. We get so knotted inside about our own frustrations, it often doesn’t occur to us there is someone likely worse off than we. That doesn’t diminish our problems, but can alter the way we handle them.
Handling ‘bad days’ can be exhausting in their own right! When we are emotionally wrought it’s hard to move forward and be productive. Often we just want to be left alone to ‘sulk’? or at least in some measure work through whatever we are dealing with. We don’t want our ‘feelings’ to interfere with friendships and interactions with other people.
The person with a disability is no different. A disability puts a new perspective on having a ‘bad day,’ however. While not wanting to talk about their disability, it’s a reality that cannot always be hidden, and sometimes causes isolation.
Isolation can come from a variety of sources, one of which is self-inflicted, because they are trying to work through a physicality, as well as, their emotional health. Other times it comes from friends (or family) who don’t intentionally want to inflict pain, but don’t know how to interact with them, especially when they are having a ‘bad day.’
We all have those days when it feels like the world is just mean! Nothing seems to be going right, and forward progress does not exist! Still, eventually we do work through it, whether it’s through a Higher Power, family aid, or even the friend who offers a listening ear.
The disabled, want the same as their non-disabled peers. Bad days happen. Don’t turn away because you don’t know how to help. Accept the bad moment for what it is, no matter what the ‘ability’, and ask if there’s anything you can do. If not, be content with offering a listening ear or just sit quietly until they are ready to share. But be there for those who are having a bad day. We all need to know we are cared about, when our days are good…and not so good.
Photo Credit: https://www.freepik.com/search?format=search&page=5&query=disability+friends+listening&selection=1