Great Expectations

Christmas is the most amazing time of year.  There is decorating, entertaining, shopping and wrapping, listening to the wonderful, timeless Christmas carols, the smells of pine intermingled with cookies and brownies baking, while children are bright eyed with wonder at the Christmas lights and the “feeling” that is Christmas!

Still, sometimes expectations of our Christmas don’t always turn out the way we’d like.  There are families who will all sit around a beautifully decorated table for dinner with all the traditional dishes placed before them, and instead of sharing love, peace and good will, there is hostility, anger, bitterness and a feeling of bare tolerance to just make it through the day.

Discontent and disenchantments seems to happen in every family.  It doesn’t matter how people try, there are those who just can’t seem to get along with others.  At Christmastime however, people often put aside their “issues” to gather together with other family members, especially at the request of older parents who only have the opportunity to see the family this time of year.

So every one gives their best attempt at being social on the outside, even as they fume on the inside.  This “simmering anger” attitude seems to go against everything that is good about Christmas.  It mars the heart in giving and receiving. So Christmas comes and goes while the feeling of emptiness and disillusionment abound about what is real.

Sometimes Christmas gets marred by grief from the loss of a close family member. Their passing seems to override what normally would be a happy, festive occasion, because we miss them in our midst. It seems hard to overcome.

Other times we are unprepared for reactions from children who have disabilities/special needs. Sensory responses, too much excitement, changes to accommodate guests, visits to Santa, all the blinking lights and shiny objects, shopping, even sweets which provide so much sugar can cause children to react negatively to our voices, music and gatherings in general.

What makes Christmas?  Is it the gift giving, the parties and socializing, winter weather, new ornaments or the tree? Is it in the Christmas cards and paper or pretty bows?

I saw a movie recently about a girl who was not going to make it home for Christmas and a stranger who was going to give her a ride to her home town, ended up making this awful situation something special.  They made snow angels in the snow, went for a toboggan ride, had a snowball fight and learned a little about each other, while they fought awful weather the whole way back.  Time separated them and the guy the girl met, lost his zest for Christmas.  It turned out his mother died at Christmas and part of him died too, much like the loss and grief I mentioned earlier.

When they meet many years later, the girl becomes his “Secret Santa” and helped him remember why Christmas was such a large part of our lives; of his life!

I challenge you to make a list of all the things you remember as being special about Christmas when you were a child.  Was it decorating the tree, or even finding the perfect tree?  Was it baking, gathering with family, making ornaments or other decorations for the tree?  Might part of it have been the Christmas Eve service or the Christmas music?  Maybe it was even driving around looking at all the beautiful Christmas lights and decorations in your, or neighboring, neighborhoods?

Whatever your good memory, try to revive it, share it with your loved ones, or start a new tradition as your own little ones grow up; or as grandparents, share this time with your grandchildren.

I challenge you to share some of your special traditions with others on my web page in the comments sections.  It’s so much fun to try new things.  I encourage you also, to remember that regardless of your traditions, and all the fun things you do with friends and family, Christmas is really about celebrating the birth of Christ.  I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

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The Gift of Christmas

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A Special Christmas for Special Children