Christmas - Remembering What’s Important
One of my favorite things to do during the Christmas season (or any season, if I’m honest) is to watch the Christmas Hallmark movies, even though I know they are totally made for TV and not like real life at all!
While I’m not alone in recognizing the lack of realism in the movies, there are those who believe life should be just like these movies that often render false hope.
For a disabled person the ‘Hallmark’ perspective is even more skewed. For them, Christmas isn’t ‘warm and fuzzy’ nor has a happy ending. It’s stressful and causes much distress! These feelings often are displayed in ways which confuse both the person with the stress and the caregiver or most often the parents!
Behavior changes because of distress are the most likely form of dissension where the message being amplified is “What’s happened to my schedule?” Who put a tree in the living room and WHY?” Or even “Where did all these people come from and why are they here?”
Depending on the disability it’s important to plan ahead. One place to start is when sending out Christmas cards adding a small note to inform those ‘who need to know’ about changes in the disabled child, or even adult. This can mean informing them of topics which may (or may not) be good to discuss, gifts that are appropriate, events which may be challenging and work as a trigger that could escalate an unwelcome event, or any other relevant message which would be helpful when visitors arrive.
Other ways to sustain a comfortable environment may include prioritizing family traditions. Recall what makes the disabled person most comfortable and happy. It may include singing Christmas Carols while trimming the tree, or making cookies or even wrapping the presents, even if they just pull and tear the tape. It’s allowing them to participate in this wondrous season at their level of understanding and toleration.
Because transitions can be difficult, remember to make changes slowly. Decorations should be gradual so as to not overload the senses to the point of anxiety. When guests arrive, try to keep things as calm as possible, but invite the child to hand out cards, or even cookies so they have a specific job to do and therefore take the focus off what they can’t do, to what they can.
Christmas is an incredible time of year. Even for a person without a disability, it can be overwhelming and stressful, especially when work outside the home is necessary, there is shopping to do, decorating, wrapping gifts, baking, cards to mail, hosting to tend to, and the list goes on!
It’s important to stand back, put everything on hold, even if for just a few moments and say, ‘STOP’! I’m going to allow myself a moment to regroup. Take some quiet time. Get yourself your favorite warm (hot) drink, sit down and just breathe. And while this is important for everyone, it’s vital for the caregiver of a disabled child.
Christmas is a time of hope love and peace, which we sometimes lose when we get buried in all the ‘commercialism and materialism’—and stressful time Christmas has become. We all need to remember the real reason for the season. —-It’s a time to remember the Christ Child.
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#RememberWhat’sImportant #Perspective #ChristmasDecorations #Baking #Shopping #GiftWrapping #BakingCookies #ChristChild
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Photo Credit: https://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/nativity-scene.html