Bullying—Or Fun and Games?
I remember as a young girl in elementary school being teased and taunted for being different. My parents moved around a lot and I spent each of my first six years of school in at least one different school each year. It set my sister and I up for low self-esteem and a level of shyness, that for my sister, was nearly debilitating! It seemed we’d no sooner finally get settled in and we’d move again and have to start all over; meeting new teachers and trying to make new friends.
Our strong teachings on faith seemed to make matters worse, because we shared our faith enthusiastically because we believed, and it’s what we were taught by our parents, to do. (Back then it wasn’t illegal to do this!) But our peers resented our zeal and told us in no uncertain terms, and sometimes with mockery or even with just an edge of hostility.
Additionally, my parents, extremely poor, created the necessity of very few clothes in our closet! This meant re-wearing outfits again and again. And yes, kids can be cruel and our peers certainly noticed! Most of the time, we would bounce back until that next move, when we’d start all over again!
Both my sister and I have grown into responsible and productive adults. Our parents did finally settle in one area for the duration of our high school years and we both blossomed! We learned not everyone wanted to hear about our faith (which I am still quick to share, but with a bit more tact!) We also, became aware of how our peers “saw” us, and finally outgrew the “hand-me-down” blues when we learned to sew our own clothes!
I share all this because we did “bounce back.” It didn’t occur to us this was a form of “bullying.” Even as I reflect, I’m not sure that “hate” factored into our “teasing” because I’m not sure it was ever truly hostile. The pain was probably the same, but perhaps not on the same level as victims are today.
Bullying takes all kinds of forms. It can be repeated name calling, tripping, knocking books out of one’s hand, to putting chemicals into one’s drink and slowly poisoning them, just for kicks! I’m horrified at the thought. Yet, these kinds of things happen to our children! Pranks and jokes take on new meaning when you add the word, “bullying.”
I’d like to take this idea just a step further, however. No child should ever be bullied. But there is one victim who is even more vulnerable that the “average child who gets bullied!” The special needs child is a target at far greater risk. A child with special needs is usually less likely to stand up to his tormentors than even the most shy child. He didn’t choose to not be able to run as fast or not talk as eloquently as his peers. He didn’t choose to wear a given birth mark, or have Down Syndrome, arthritis, epilepsy, dyslexia, ADHD or autism, cancer or fifty other “special needs” common to our children. Yet these “needs” define him!
I encourage you to talk with your young people. Bullying has been the result of children never recovering to become responsible, productive adults. They become extremely introverted, and some find their pain to be at a level beyond their control so that even very young ones, take their own lives, and sometimes even the lives of others. It’s time we, as parents, as a society, take charge and stop bullying NOW!
(Just a note: For those who may not know, I write children’s disability books, which also read well for non-disabled. My newest book just came out: ‘Benson Bobcat Stands His Ground’ which is on bullying. All my books can be found on Amazon or on my website www.margieharding.com or www.paxtonseries.com)
Upper photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/bullying-child-finger-interpret-3089938/