Time To Do What Matters

A friend of mine has said more than once, she doesn’t feel like she matters; that she’s around to make sure domestic duties are done, meals prepared and to “fetch and serve.”  What a sad state!  How does a person deal with being nothing short of a “maid” in a relationship?  There are those who would say, “Leave!  Yesterday!”  And I suppose that’s an easy choice for some.  For others, there is a duty to staying, that unless you’re in their shoes, it’s impossible to understand.

When pressing for more depth into my friend’s emotions, she said, “I want to be appreciated, to be supported and know that he [her husband] has my back.”  

I watched a movie not long ago, a love story of course; and there was a line in it about two people who leaned on each other regardless of the circumstances so neither one would fall.  What creates this kind of relationship?  Love certainly, but “time.”  It takes time to know the other person; their likes and dislikes; their favorite color and flower; their philosophy on life; and what they expect or want from someone else, and life itself.

Time.  We all have the same amount of minutes in every day.  But it’s how we spend that time that makes the difference.  Our culture is engrossed in all things technological and digital!  We spend so much time on social media, checking our phone (glued to our hands) or our computers that even when we are working, we stop and check to see if there was an email, twitter or snapchat comment we missed!  We even have to check to see what the latest news headline is, so we can have something to chat about at the water cooler!

Is this how we were designed?  Technology is wonderful, but it has captured our identities!  It has stolen the people we were meant to be!  We now struggle with spending time one on one with another human being, whether it be someone from the workplace, our children and even our spouses!  

Time.  That single word has so many implications within a relationship. An older couple I once knew made the comment they could be in the same room for hours and never say a word to each other and they were comfortable with that.  This didn’t include while watching TV or being on social media.  They were each comfortable reading a book—or the newspaper, sewing, writing a letter or other personal interests that passed the time.  This is a ‘comfortable relationship!’

Recently my husband and I went into town.  The sun was shining, and the temperature warm.  Trees are budding, grass is turning green and at one point I even smelled the scent of a fresh mowed lawn.  I was totally enjoying it.  And I enjoyed the silence we shared.  It was amazing.  

Still, there are times when we must say what must be said, or pursue what must be chased!  Moments are precious!  That’s especially obvious in our changing world with the ‘germ’ that is stealing our loved ones.  They are our treasure!   Not a single person alive knows when they will breathe their last.

I encourage you during these difficult times, to use your ‘time’ wisely.  Spend moments with those closest to you, even though we are experiencing ‘social distancing.’  Death knows no gender, age, class or ethnic origin.  It steals without concern for those it hurts.  Spend precious moments in whatever way you can (and still remain safe) with those you love.